


Fading Dreams

by catholicorprotestant



Series: Say You Won't Let Go (AoMomo series) [4]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Infertility, Married Couple, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Pro Basketball Player Aomine Daiki, Pro Basketball Player Kagami Taiga, hurt comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-09-05 08:30:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 86,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16807093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catholicorprotestant/pseuds/catholicorprotestant
Summary: It's frustrating to watch everyone's dreams come true while knowing your own are slipping farther and farther away from becoming a reality.





	1. Answers

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I've decided to write my knb otp because they're obviously in love Karen. There's not going to be a set update schedule, but I'm going to try to keep one loosely. So subscribe if you want to be notified of when I update. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Infertility. 

The word was like a knife through the heart. It meant you were broken, defective. That word haunted them. Four years ago they had sat in this same room where the word was first uttered. The light of the office was dim. Posters of female and male anatomy were hung on the walls. Different kind of birth control accompanied them. Models of pregnancy and other anatomical things sat on the counter. The room was too familiar.

A small knock at the door had Satsuki grabbing Daiki's for something to anchor her. There had to be an answer. There had to be a reason none of this working. Timed, scheduled sex didn't work. Hormones in the form of pills, injections, suppositories, a few rounds of artificial insemination, and four in vitro fertilizations that didn't take. None of it worked. Four years of trying everything after a year of trying naturally and a year before of “let's see what happens,” and nothing. Not even a pregnancy scare. Nothing. It was unsettling to say the least. She wanted a baby, wanted to give Daiki a baby. He always wanted to be a father. It wasn't fair. 

“Good afternoon, you two,” the doctor said with a smile. “How are you doing?”

“Fine, thank you. And you?” Daiki answered for the two of them. 

Satsuki let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding since that knock on the door signaling the doctor's entrance. Daiki knew just what to say and do. He knew when she couldn't speak, and when he needed to help her. He was so good to her. She hoped she was as good to him. He always said so, but lately she want so sure. Was he even still happy with her?

“So after more testing, unfortunately we don't have a good answer. Your sperm count and motility is well within the limits.” Her attention went to Satsuki. “You have a regular ovulation schedule now that we’ve put you on hormones. The levels are perfect. By numbers, there’s no reason that the treatments haven’t been working. It may be that you have something going on in your uterus that is causing the problem.”

Satsuki felt the blood drain from her face. When they’d found out years ago that it was her that was the issue in their infertility, it had blindsided her and she’d cried for days. She wouldn’t even talk to Daiki. But she got over it. It was a hormonal imbalance that could be fixed. Now it was the world crashing down around her. She couldn’t see, couldn’t hear. All she could think of was the fact that if there is a problem with her uterus then it couldn’t be fixed. She could feel Daiki’s hand holding hers, could feel their fingers intertwined. It was the only thing keeping her grounded. 

“Satsuki?” 

A nudge brought her back to life. She blinked, and noticed that they were both staring at her. “Yes?”

“I was saying that reviewing your ultrasounds previously, there may be some abnormalities I’d like to follow up on. I would like to do another ultrasound, one through the vagina, if you’d be up to it.” 

“Whatever you think needs to be done. I just really want a baby. We really want a baby. If you think it will help.” 

“I do. Now then, do you have time now?” 

Satsuki nodded her head, and followed the doctor to the exam table. She’d done this so many times, it was starting to become second nature. She wondered how Daiki felt about her hooha being on display so often these days. For the longest time, he was the only one who saw it. But today it was going to a wand looking at her uterus. She begged to every deity in the world that they would find some reason she wasn’t conceiving. She and Daiki were never religious, but desperation changes one’s views. Praying was all that could help at a certain point in their minds. 

She closed her eyes, and tried to relax as the ultrasound began. Daiki was next to her, holding her hand like he did through everything. They were in this together. Every single step of the way. That had been their promise, and neither had broken it. That didn’t stop her from feeling like the biggest failure. She felt like she let him down far too much. This wasn’t something you could just get over. This was years of treatments. It has ruined their sexual intimacy which was a big part of their relationship. She didn't know what to do. She just wanted to get pregnant. How hard was that? 

Apparently very.

“I think we have an answer.”

Satsuki opened her eyes, and stared at the doctor. “What?”

“See this right here?” 

The doctor pointed to the screen. Satsuki couldn't make out anything, but as long as a professional knew it that's what mattered. 

“It's fibroids. They're masses that can sometimes grow in the uterus. Sometimes they cause problems with menstruation and fertility. I was reviewing everything in your chart, and they were so small. I think this is the answer. We can do a procedure called an embolization. We can go in and cut off blood supply to them. They were shrink and give room. You'll be out of commission for about a month in terms of intercourse, but we should see some improvements.”

Tears pooled in Satsuki's eyes. All these years of waiting, of trying, and it this was it? It seemed so simple now. All she had to do was get rid of the fibroids, and everything would be okay. They would have a baby soon. She knew it. Years of hurt slowly started to shed. Finally they had answers.


	2. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Updated pretty quickly! I already have 3 in place. I'm hoping to keep up the momentum, but don't expect every day. lol :) 
> 
> I hope you're enjoying it!

Satsuki took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Today was the day. They planned the procedure around Daiki’s schedule since it was much harder to work around than Satsuki’s. Corporate America wasn’t forgiving, but being a junior exec came with perks. She brushed the hair back out of her face, and left the bathroom to get ready. Daiki would be home any time now, and they’d go to the hospital. 

She sat down on the bed, water dripping occasionally from her hair. She didn’t move, or try to get dressed. Her head was elsewhere. What would it be like? She’d read that it could be painful. Her whole life she’d had a high pain tolerance, but there’d never been surgical pain. She’d had painful periods which was supposedly what it would feel like, but she was also skeptical. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t scared. It wasn’t the surgery that scared her, but the possibility that their last-ditch effort wouldn’t work. She was the reason they couldn’t have a baby. 

Would Daiki leave her? She knew he wouldn’t realistically, but her mind lied to her. That’s just what happened these days. Her mind told her he was tired of her. Every time she saw him talking to a girl, she was filled with dread that he was going to run off with her. Any time a female fan came up to him for a photo and autograph, a tinge of jealousy would spike. Daiki was her best friend, always had been. They’d fallen in love somewhere along the road, and what if the fact that she couldn’t give him kids made him realize that he was sick of her? No matter how much he reassured her that would never be the case, it still taunted her in the back of her head. 

“Oi, Satsuki!” 

Satsuki jumped at Daiki’s voice calling from the other room. She shivered realizing for the first time how cold she had gotten from sitting there in wet towels. Right as she opened her mouth to answer, he walked into the room and frowned. 

“You’re going to catch a cold,” he said gently, crossing the room. “The window is open, and it’s freezing outside.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you that’s not how getting sick works,” Satsuki said with a small laugh. 

Daiki rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms over his chest. He was still in his starters. She had always loved the way he looked in them. She wasn’t as much of a fan of the yellow and purple as she had been of the black, but nonetheless he was still really handsome. She smiled thinking about it. That’s all she’d known him as. 

“What?” he smirked.

“Nothing,” she retorted. “Are you seriously going to go to the hospital in your starters?” 

“Are you seriously going to go naked?” 

“Shut up. I was just thinking, and got distracted is all. I wanted to shower and clean up because the recovery period can be rough.” 

He hummed for a moment, rocking back on his heels. “I told my coach I need two weeks off. He said it’s okay.” 

“What did you say?” 

“Just that you were getting surgery.” He shrugged. “It’s off season anyway. It’s just practice. You’re my priority, so…” 

“Thank you.” She brushed a strand of wet hair behind her ear. 

Daiki sat down next to her. “You know…” He pulled her close, and kissed her. “Maybe we could have some fun, _unplanned_ , for once.” 

He pushed her hair back, and kissed her neck. She shivered, and pushed him away. 

“I don’t think I’m allowed to.”

He fell back against the bed with a sigh. “I really hope this works, Satsuki.” 

“I do too.” 

He turned to face her. “How about the next two weeks we just spend it together? We could cuddle, take naps, watch stupid movies. I’ll take care of you. I’ll make you all your favorite food when you’re able to eat it. No stress. No schedules, or plans. Just be like before.” 

“I’d like that.” She smiled, and took his hand, pulling him up. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

*****

Daiki paced the waiting room. It wasn’t a huge surgery. Outpatient in fact. But that didn’t make him feel any better. They were going through an artery to killed the fibroids which meant that there was a good risk of bleeding. Then they were taking the fibroids out. He hated that Satsuki was having to go through all of this. He wished desperately that it was something wrong with him. Satsuki didn’t deserve any of this. She was the nicest, most caring person he’d ever known. He loved her more than anything in the entire world. She stuck with him through thick and thin. He wanted to be there for her now, but he felt like he wasn’t doing the best job. He was so busy. But he was determined to be there the whole recovery period. 

“Family of Satsuki Aomine please report to recovery. Family of Satsuki Aomine to recovery.” 

Daiki rolled his eyes, and couldn’t help but smirk. _Sat-sue-key A-mine_. Despite living in America for close to seven years, he would still never get over the way their names were butchered to the point that half the time he barely understood. This was one of those times, and the repeat had been what alerted him. He rushed to the desk, and a nurse took him back to the room Satsuki was in. She was rousing slightly from the anesthesia wearing off. 

“Hey,” Daiki said barely above a whisper, clearing the gap between them. “I’m here.” 

“Hi,” she forced a smile. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Like I got punched in my pelvis.” 

He nodded, and leaned over to kiss her. “Do you need medicine? I can go get them, and say you need medicine.”

“No, I’m okay.” 

Daiki sat down on the chair next to the bed, holding her hand. She looked so exhausted, and he could tell she was in pain. He wanted to make it better. The last five years he’d watched her go through hell, and he wasn’t sure how much more they could take. Hormones in all kinds of forms he didn’t even know existed before made her feel nauseous and her moods were everywhere. She’d gone through the process of having her eggs harvested for IVF. She was cramping and bleeding for days. He was just able to orgasm, and hand over a cup. Satsuki was one who had so many doctors messing with her vagina that it seemed almost normal now. The late periods that gave them hope for a baby, only to come and break their hearts. She went through the possible miscarriages from the IVF since they never had a positive test before the heavy bleeding and bad cramping that put her in bed sobbing, curled up with a heat pack. Now this. 

He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just get her pregnant. She deserved a baby. He would never tell a soul that it made him feel like less of a man because it was something he should be able to do. The answers weren’t clear, but this was the last possible thing they could do. The doctor was sure of that. So what if it didn’t work? He could already feel Satsuki pulling away from him which made him only want to close the gap even more. Satsuki didn’t deserve to feel like she was disappointing him. He should be making her feel loved. That was his job. 

Their whole life Satsuki made it her goal in life to protect him. From what, he was never sure, but she did. He used to cry easily as a kid, but he got over it. Satsuki had had her fair share of punching, and fighting kids who made him cry. _I worry about you_. She said that all the time. It’s why she followed him through schools, never once going to different schools even when she had her massive unrequited love story with Tetsu, and wanted to go with him. She worried. She was like a mother hen. She had been onto something though when his depression was triggered, and blown into full force. There were so many times he wondered if it was even worth it, but then Satsuki would burst into his room with a smile and pull him out of bed, figuratively and sometimes literally. To this day she made sure he took his medicine. She made sure he was eating well, and that he was on a normal sleep schedule. 

Satsuki had worried, protected, and taken care of him their whole life. Now it was his turn to return the favor. 

He was trying his best, but it seemed like his best wasn’t good enough. It made him feel guilty. She needed someone to look after her. When they got married, he’d even stood up in front of their family and friends, and promised that he’d take care of Satsuki. So far he didn’t feel like he’d honored that promise in the way that he needed to. 

Sure, through high school he’d threatened to beat guys’ asses who catcalled her. He’d punched a few guys who thought they were allowed to touch her without her permission, even some that did despite her asking repeatedly to be left alone. He’d returned the slut-shaming thrown her way with truth. And every rumor he heard was quickly put to rest. He always walked her home, and then to her car when they got older. Now he would make sure she was okay. He’d check every slight bump in the night that she was scared of. He did his best to put her fears at rest. But how could he help her through this when he was feeling so frustrated with the situation too? 

“Hi, I see you’re recovering well. How are you feeling?” the doctor asked coming in. 

“Sleepy. Crampy.” Satsuki’s voice was hoarse from surgery, and the discomfort was obvious to Daiki. “Thank you, Dr. Adams.” 

“That’s to be expected.” She smiled. “The procedure went well. We were able to remove the fibroids. You should be feeling back to your usual self in about two weeks. You’ll have cramping and bleeding during that time, but you may experience spotting up to six weeks. After you’ve recovered, which is about six weeks, then you can start having intercourse again which means we’ll start up the treatments again.”

“Wait,” Daiki interrupted. “I thought you said this would fix everything. You didn’t say she’d have to take the hormones and stuff still.”

“I’m sorry for the miscommunication, but I’m afraid we’ll need to continue. Satsuki’s hormone levels before the treatments weren’t where they needed to be.”

“Oh…” Daiki glanced at Satsuki who now had tears glistening in her eyes. “Hey, it’ll be okay, Satsuki. It’s going to work. It has to.” 

“I’m afraid we can’t make any promises, but I am confident the chances have greatly increased,” Dr. Adams said with a soft smile. “You’ll be ready to go a few hours. Do either of you have questions?” 

“How long,” Satsuki cleared her throat. “How long after we can start trying again can I get pregnant?” 

Dr. Adams walked across the room, and took Satsuki’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Same as before. When you’re ovulating. We can still monitor everything, okay?” 

“Okay,” Satsuki whispered.

There was desperation in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment. <3


	3. Little Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm on a roll!

Little things like binge watching Netflix, talking about everything and nothing at once, and just being together doing their own thing had always been part of the relationship. Satsuki liked to watch Daiki play basketball, and loved even more to play it with him. She loved the normalcy of their childhood even after he got on a whole other level, and gave her a million handicaps. _Make one basket and you win_. Satsuki was sure that Daiki would let their kid win just like he always let her win. He'd try to be sneaky about it. 

She laid on the couch with her head in Daiki's lap while he watched basketball. Nowadays he watched to size up the competition and critique their plays. The two of them together perfectly picked apart plays. Each player had data in a notebook organized by team that Satsuki put together just like she always had. He always got so excited to take new information to his team, and always gave her the credit. Today she couldn't focus on that, and just watched it for entertainment. They both love the sport, so watching it together made sense. 

He absently ran his fingers through her hair. It’d been a habit since they were kids. She wasn’t even sure when it had started, but he did it when he was comfortable or when she was sad. It always comforted her, and he always knew when she needed to be comforted even if he hadn’t always been the best at it. He’d gotten better over the years, and now it was almost instinctual. 

“My god, number 18 sucks. Did you see that? How is he even pro?” Daiki shook his head, and took a sip of water. “At this rate, Tetsu should go pro.” 

Satsuki hummed in agreement. She was too tired and in too much pain to talk, but she was scared to take the medication. What if it stayed in her system too long, and she got pregnant and the baby would be affected? She knew it was irrational, but that’s where her mind was these days. She hated that their life had been so consumed by infertility that she couldn’t even take a damn pill to stop her from hurting so much. 

“You okay?” Daiki asked. 

Satsuki nodded, sucking in her lips, and biting them. He studied her for a moment. She could feel herself being scrutinized, and tensed involuntarily at the realization. He knew her better than anyone else in the world. She couldn’t lie to him. Ever.

“No, you’re not.” Daiki sighed. “You’re taking your medicine.” 

“But-”

“No.” Daiki said firmly as he gently eased out from under her head. “I took mine, so you’ll take yours.” 

“You better still take yours, Aomine Daiki, or I swear to god…” Satsuki threatened weakly. 

“Which is why you should take your medicine. That way you can kill me.” He smirked, leaning down to kiss her. 

She swatted him away. “I’ll kill you in your sleep.” 

“Guess I gotta sleep with one eye open.” He laughed. “But if you don’t take your medicine, how can you kill me?” 

“I can.”

“You cannot.” 

“Can.” 

“Not.” 

“Can.” 

“Not.”

“Shut up.” Satsuki stuck her tongue out at him, causing him to toss a pillow at her playfully. “Hey! I’m in pain.” 

“You’re plotting my death,” he said with a shrug as he walked out of the room. 

Satsuki smiled to herself, and played with her sleeve. Sometimes she forgot she grew up with him, but there’d always be moments like this where she’d be reminded of every banter they’d ever had. It was a level of familiarity that could never be attained if you hadn't grown up with someone. She knew every single one of his darkest fears. He told her absolutely everything. Years and years of it as it happened. She knew every movement, and knew what he was going to say before he said it. He knew her wants, dreams, fears. He knew absolutely everything. Hell even before they were dating, when they were still in middle school and she was too embarrassed to buy pads, he’d do it for her because he knew how nervous it made her without her even needing to ask him. He just knew. They knew. They were each other’s safe place, always had been. 

She snuggled under the blanket, and bit her lip to keep from crying. Every movement outside of being a ball felt like her uterus was going to rip in half. Three days and it still hadn’t gotten better. Maybe Daiki was right.

*****

Satsuki was stubborn as hell. Always had been. He was sure that’s where he’d learned it from. It was cute that she honestly thought she could fool him. They’d known each other since they were four. She wasn’t going to pull one over on him, and if she thought she could, well…

He quickly grabbed the bottle of pain medication off the bedside table, and the bottle of water sitting next to it, and took it to where Satsuki was curled up in a ball on the couch with the game going full force. Despite being in pain, she looked so interested. It was amazing, she _was_ amazing. Nobody was a stronger person than Satsuki. Nobody. He’d seen people go through all kinds of stuff, but nobody handled it like her. Time and the physical, emotional, and mental stress of the last six years hadn’t worn on her. She was as beautiful now as she was back in high school. Didn’t look a day over eighteen despite being almost thirty. 

He snapped out of his trance when he saw her wince, and curl further into a ball. “I got them for you.” 

She stared at him, fire in her eyes. “I don’t want it to hurt our baby.”

“Well we don’t have one right now, so you’re taking it.” 

“I don’t want to.” 

“I don’t care.”

“Daiki…”

“No. Tough love. Isn’t that what you’d called it before?” He sat on the floor in front of her, and held out the pills and water. “I’ll force you. Don’t think I won’t.” 

She’d done the same thing to him when he first started his antidepressants. He hadn’t wanted to. Thought it was a whole lot of bullshit, but it made him feel like his old self again. That moment was everything. The numbness was gone, and he was finally Daiki again. He knew Satsuki would be back to herself if she just took her damn pain meds.

Satsuki sighed, and pushed herself up, closing her eyes as she did so. Her face was contorted in pain which made Daiki feel a combination of anger, frustration, and guilt. He wanted to take her pain away. For now he had tramadol, and that was good enough. He watched her take the pills, and when she’d swallowed them, and half of the bottle of water down, and leaned over and kissed her forehead. 

“You hungry?” 

“Mmm,” Satsuki hummed in agreement. 

“What sounds good?” 

“Can we order cheese pizza? I’m really craving it.”

“Of course.” 

Neither of them had ever really been into pizza, but Kagami got them into it after they moved to LA. He had introduced them to a lot of American foods, and honestly, Daiki found it all to be good, and the sizes at restaurants were more than he could have ever asked for. It was a fun experience living in America, but he missed Japan so much his heart ached. Satsuki loved LA more though. She found it to be somewhat magical even though everyone said it was a soul sucking city. Satsuki said that Tokyo was boring, and reminded her too much of boring careers. Daiki disagreed. 

The question they often argued was if they wanted to move back or not. That also meant Daiki deciding when he was through with the NBA. To him though, eleven years wasn’t enough, not unless they finally had a baby. If they did, he’d quit in a heartbeat. He’d live on the money he had coming out of his ears, and spend as much time off as he could. Satsuki would get a whole year off work, paid, rather than the six months her company offered, which by American standards was unheard of. Something about it being a Japanese based company influenced it. Also, Daiki hated the way English sounded. It was so harsh to his ears. Japanese was beautiful, elegant. His kids had to know it because honestly he wasn’t very good at English and hated speaking it if he didn’t have to. The first three years they lived in LA, Satsuki refused to let him speak Japanese, and had even recruited Kagami. It was so rude. 

Daiki ordered the pizza before going back to the living room, and sitting on the floor next to the couch. He stared at the television, thinking about all of the unknown. Six years of failure was wearing on him. He was living his dream, and so was Satsuki, but they didn’t have kids. That was also part of their dream. Kagami and Tetsu had adopted their kids secretly. When Riko and Hyuuga came to visit their friend, Riko had insisted on watching Kagami play which led her a job on the team as a trainer. The friendship between the couples started, and they’d watched them become parents...three times. It was hard. Every time Riko made comments to Satsuki about it that left Satsuki crying when they got home. He wanted to be happy. He wanted them to be happy. 

Satsuki hugged Daiki from behind, and kissed his neck. “You take such good care of me.” 

“It’s my job,” he said softly, holding her arm. He rubbed his thumb over the soft skin. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you.” 

“Dai-chan?” 

“Hm?” 

“I’m sorry I can’t have a baby.” 

“Don’t be sorry for something that isn’t your fault.” He laced his fingers with one of her hands, and kissed it. “I just want a family with you, Satsuki. Whatever that means. If it’s just me and you, that’s perfect. If we get kittens, I’m happy. If we have kids, then that’s wonderful. But you’re enough for me, okay?” 

Satsuki was quiet. He turned to face her. Tears were in her eyes, and she was focused on the game. “Don’t say that.”

“What?” 

“Don’t lie to me and say you don’t want to be a dad, because you’ve always wanted to be. It was your idea in the first place to start trying. I want to give you a baby, okay? I’m working so hard, and going through so much for you. Don’t say it’s not worth it.” 

Daiki stared at her for a moment, shocked. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to be the reason for this. He wanted her to be happy. What could he say? He didn’t know. He was quiet for a moment. 

“I never said I don’t want to be a dad. I’m saying that if after everything, it doesn’t happen, I’m okay with it. And I appreciate what you’re doing. You’re going through a lot for this.” 

Satsuki shook her head, and turned onto her back to stare at the ceiling. She rubbed the tears out of her eyes, and hugged her chest. “I hate when you say those things. I hate it, and you never stop no matter how many times I tell you. It makes me so fucking angry, Daiki.” 

“Well, shit, I’m sorry,” Daiki snapped, rolling his eyes. “God forbid I try to make my wife feel better by telling her the truth. You know what? I’m going to go to the kitchen, and get us something to drink. Do you want water or-”

“Stop running away!” Satsuki glared at him. “I want to talk to you.” 

“I don’t want to fight about this again.” He rubbed his temples. “We fight about this all the time.” 

“Because you say things like that!” 

“Because I tell you the truth?” Daiki stood up. She grabbed his wrist. 

“We need to talk about this.”

“Okay, Satsuki, here’s what I want to say. I hate watching you go through all of this shit. I hate that you have to go through it. You’re miserable. You’re the one who’s being tortured by this. I feel like a piece of shit for doing that to you. I think that after six years, we do need to talk about the possibility that it won’t happen, and get used to it.” 

“So that’s it then?” Satsuki shook her head. “You want to stop?” 

“I didn’t say that,” Daiki said through gritted teeth. “Stop twisting my fucking words around, Satsuki.”

“Here’s what I want to say. I’m putting my body through hell because I want to give you a baby. You’ve wanted to be a dad just as bad as you wanted to be in the NBA. Your whole life you talked about it. You didn’t see the way you looked at me when you asked if we could stop using protection and see what happens. You didn’t see how excited you were when you asked if we could try for real. And you sure as hell don’t see how fucking devastated you are every single time it doesn’t work. You cried so much when they told us we had fertility issues. It’s so frustrating that I can’t give that to you because I love you more than anything in the entire universe. Always have and always will, so I want to do this for you, for us. And I hate when you say things like that because I _know_ it’s not true. It’s a bald-faced lie. You don’t know it maybe, but it is because I _see_ you, Daiki.”

Satsuki stared at him, tears falling down her cheeks. He hated himself even more. How could he wear his emotions on his sleeve like that? Why couldn’t he just stuff everything into a ball and feel it only on the inside? If he didn’t show her that, then she wouldn’t be feeling this. She wouldn’t be putting her body through hell. She was doing this for _him._ Going through hell for him. 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. He knelt down in front of her again. “I don’t want to make you upset. I don’t want to fight. I love you.” 

Learning to admit that he was wrong even when he didn’t feel like he was, or knew he wasn’t wrong, had taken some time. They had been dating for almost a year when he’d been the first one to apologize. Satsuki had looked at him like he had just sprouted another head. Now it was commonplace. He didn’t even have to think about it. He just knew that sometimes it wasn’t worth the fight. It wasn’t worth the anger and tears. That was the thing about making a long term, mature, serious relationship work. It wasn’t until after they’d checked off the bullet points of maturity that he proposed. 

“I love you too.” Satsuki smiled. “I’m sorry I keep getting mad at you for stupid things. I’m just really hormonal, you know? And I’m in pain.” 

“I think you have a right. I’ll let it slide just this once,” he smirked, and kissed her. 

*****

They’d spent the rest of the evening not talking about kids. They talked about Satsuki’s promotion coming up, and Daiki’s nerves about his coming up games. They talked about movies, television, and life. What they wanted, where they saw themselves. All of that. Satsuki even felt up to playing a few board games on the living room floor. 

Now the fan blew wind softly above them. Daiki was laying his head on her chest, his arms wrapped around her asleep. Satsuki ran her fingers through his hair. He always slept like this since they had started dating. He told her that it was more comfortable than sleeping normally. She wasn’t sure how much she believed him, but she didn’t care. She wondered how long he’d be able to sleep like this. If she got pregnant, things would be different. He’d spent the last nine years like this. It’d be weird. She’d grown accustomed to this. It was close, intimate, warm. In moments like this, she loved him more than anything. His face was soft, his lips were slightly open, and his breathing was soft. All the sharpness he had during the day was gone, and he looked peaceful. She leaned down and kissed his head. 

Satsuki had always had trouble falling asleep, but these days between the stress of trying everything in the book to get pregnant, Daiki’s PR and games had made it much more difficult. She had to deal with looking perfect all the time because she didn’t want to end up on the cover of any sports magazine looking anything less. She knew people were mean. She’d seen how his fangirls talked about her. Why couldn’t professional athletes have normal lives? It didn’t make sense. Then there was her boss breathing down her neck to make deadlines, and come up with presentations on proposals. She had an opportunity for a promotion coming up, and she was up against a few other people. Taking this time off was going to affect that, but having a baby was more important. 

“I’m gonna give you a baby, Dai-chan. I promise,” she whispered.


	4. Last Ditch Effort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm on a roll, huh? I'm spoiling you guys. Y'all mean so much to me. I love you so much. <3

“Mrs. Aomine?” 

“Mrs. Aomine?” 

“Satsuki!” 

Satsuki jumped at the nudge to her side. Everyone in the presentation room was staring at her. She swallowed, and cleared her throat, and quickly apologized. She needed to get home. Her phone had alerted her that she was ovulating. It was the first time they could try again for a baby. She needed to get home to her husband, but no, she had to be in this stupid meeting proposing a new marketing strategy. Ordinarily she would have been home by now, or at least on her way. Daiki had a game this weekend, so his practices were all over, but he’d be home when she got there like usual. It pissed her off that she wasn’t there. 

She stood up, and smoothed her dress before walking to the front of the room by the projection screen. Everyone was staring at her, poker faces on as she went on about a new line of makeup being advertised online with a diverse group of models encompassing all genders, races, and backgrounds. It was common sense in her mind. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful in their own skin, and was that not the goal of the company? Judging by no impressed faces in the crowd, she assumed not. 

“Thank you,” Satsuki said with a smile, brushing her hair back behind her ear. “I’ll now take questions.” 

Of course there were questions. There always were. Satsuki tried to keep her eyes from flicking toward the clock, but it was no use. She needed this meeting to be over. But no. And on top of that she had to pretend that she was so engaged in this meeting when her head was already in her bedroom. She could practically feel her uterus being prime time for babies. But no. She took a few deep breaths, before returning to her seat.

“Thank you for that excellent idea, Mrs. Aomine. It was quite eye opening. We’ve never thought of this approach before, but after that presentation, we definitely need to take the opportunity. Davis, please send this to the marketing department. It was so nice doing business with you, and your department.” 

After a few more pleasantries, the meeting was over. Satsuki all but ran out of the room when her boss called for her. She stopped dead in her tracks, and fought to keep the small growl coming just beneath her vocal cords. She plastered a smile on her face and turned around. 

“May I speak to you in my office, Satsuki?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Satsuki replied pleasantly. _Great. Just great._

“Have a seat, Satsuki.” She did as instructed. “I was very impressed by that presentation. You more than lived up to my expectations, which is why I would like to let you know that the promotion is now between you, and Colter. My decision will be made by the end of next week. Have a good weekend.” 

“Thank you, ma’am, you too.” 

Finally Satsuki was free. She had never left work so quickly in her life. This had to work. This had to be the time. She’d had the surgery. She was still on hormones. She was still tracking her cycle. It was perfect. This had to be the last time she and Daiki had the annoying, passionless, planned sex. She was so tired of it. She wanted it to be more, like it was before all this started. It was hard to be romantic when your phone was screaming at you, and the pressure was on. Hell now they even talked about the most boring things during. It was ridiculous. 

“I’m home!” Satsuki called, slamming the door closed behind her. “You better be awake, or I swear to god…”

“You’ll kill me?” Daiki smirked from the couch in his underwear. 

“I’m glad you’ve finally learned.” 

“I purposely took a nap on the couch so you’d wake me up coming.” 

“Don’t look so damn proud of yourself. You’ve got a job to do.” 

“Really, Satsuki? A job? How is that sexy talk?” Daiki asked already walking toward their room. “I don’t even know how we do this, but it always works.” 

“It works because you like me naked.” Satsuki said unzipping her dress.

“I do. I’m not gonna lie.” 

Daiki pulled her into a close hug, and kissed her as he slipped her dress of her shoulders before unclamping her bra. “So how was work?” 

“Good,” she said stepping out of her dress. “How was practice.” 

“The same,” he said with a smile, laying her back on the bed. 

It was the same thing every time now. Just talking about their day while they got ready, like they were having dinner like normal people. But they weren’t normal. Satsuki hated it. 

“I think I’m going to get the promotion.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“So the presentation went well?” 

“Very. They loved my idea.” 

“Good. It’s a good idea.” 

“Are you nervous about your game?” 

Daiki laughed. “I’m more nervous about this.” 

“You’re such an idiot!” 

“Don’t hit me! I’ve got a job to do, remember?” 

Satsuki rolled her eyes, and kissed him. It was so rare during these planned sex times. There was really nothing sexy about them. It was more just an action than anything else. It wasn’t fun. It didn’t feel as good. She didn’t feel close to him. It was a means to an end. She hated it. She couldn’t wait until it was over and they had their kid and could go back to normal. It pissed her off how much people complained about their kids ruining their sex life, when not having one was worse.

“I think we need to get groceries,” she hummed. 

“We can make a list after we finish.” 

“Okay.” 

“I love you.” 

“Yeah,” Satsuki smirked. “Prove it.” 

“I’m trying.” 

“I hope this works.” 

“Me too.” 

*****

The bright lights, and deafening crowds were nothing new. Satsuki had been around it for most of her life. It was normal. It was home. It was them. Something about this game was different though. It felt like a new beginning. For the first time in a long time, they had hope. Even though it hadn’t been very long, she felt confident that they’d had sex enough to get her window. That was all she needed. Now she just needed to wait a few weeks. Of course they’d continue the usual week that could be a potential, but it wasn’t the same rushed, planned sex of ovulation. That was enough comfort. 

She sat down next to Tetsu and the kids. Miles was wearing his dad’s jersey, and Alex was wearing Daiki’s. It had been so sweet when they found them at the store. They’d never seen them in kids sizes, so she and Tetsu picked them up for the kids. Kagami and Daiki had been so taken aback. Satsuki was excited to some day buy one for their kid. Nobody knew that she’d gone back and bought Daiki’s, and hid it just in case. 

“Hi, Satsuki.” Tetsu smiled, sliding over to give her room. 

“Thank you, Tetsu.” 

“Auntie Satsuki, did you know that my daddy said that we're gonna win?” 

Alex grinned, bouncing with excitement. He had a temporary tattoo for the Lakers. The four year old had always loved baseketball, unlike Miles who just liked to watch his dad and uncle play. She didn’t know what they’d do if they had a kid who didn’t love baseketball. Daiki would probably have an existential crisis. Hopefully their kid was like Alex. She smiled at him, and leaned forward with her arms folded over her knees. 

“Of course we’re gonna win. It’s your daddy and Uncle Daiki.” 

“Yeah! They’re the best. Did you know that my daddy said I’m really, really, really good? And I’m super fast.” 

“You are.” 

“Can I sit on your lap?” 

Satsuki smiled, and nodded holding her arms out to her godson. She loved the feeling of his small body in her arms. The day that Kagami and Tetsu had asked them to be their kids’ godparents was one of the best days of their lives. Through the darkness of their struggle of infertility, they became godparents. There was a small ray of light. These little boys were the best thing in their life. 

The game started, and Satsuki’s mind was finally consumed with something other than trying to have a baby. That’s something she’d always loved about the game. When it started, when her best friend and his team stepped onto that court, suddenly time stood still. The world ceased until the game was over. All she thought about was strategy and observing the other team, how to use their weaknesses against them. While she hadn’t been a manager in a long time, she’d still kept the skills up, still kept up with stat sheets. She contributed to the team without ever being part of it. Daiki’s coach always said they had people who were paid for that position, and respectfully refused the advice, but they still used it. It was frustrating, but as long as it worked. 

Excitement, tension, the roar the crowd, the screech of the buzzer, the squeaking of shoes on the court were all home to her. She could go back to before everything got so hard, back to when she got to stand on the sidelines rather than just sitting lower level courtside. Didn’t matter that they were the best seats in the house that Daiki reserved for her. The best place to be was on the court. She missed those days. Things were simpler. She had a crush on Tetsu who couldn’t have been less interested in her romantically. She hadn’t fallen head over heels for her best friend. Nothing this hard had happened yet. 

She hugged Alex a little tighter until he pushed away from her to stand up against the rails to cheer them on. Miles was sitting next to Tetsu enjoying a book. Satsuki couldn’t help but laugh softly. He really was a good kid, and even though they weren’t biologically their kids, Miles was so much like Tetsu. Polite, calm, quiet, good at school. Alex was hyper, and ran around with boundless energy, trying to keep up with his dad, but also loving to play with Tetsu. 

Satsuki watched the kids, her mind a million miles away thinking about the kids they would have, at least one. That would be good enough. Just one. What would they be like? Boy or girl? Would they be good at school, or excel at athletics? What kind of personality would they have? Would they like to spend time with them? Would they know how much she and Daiki wanted them? How hard they tried? What they went through? How much their hearts ached? Would they know they were loved more than anyone?

“Satsuki?” 

“Huh?” She glanced at Tetsu. 

“Would you like to go find Taiga and Daiki?” 

“What?” She blinked. She looked around, and saw the game was over. People were leaving the stands. The score card said they won. But only seconds ago she’d sat down. Kids ran her brain. That’s all there was to it. She spaced out. She lost time. 

“They will probably be getting interviewed about the game, but we can wait by the locker rooms, or go outside.” 

“We can go outside,” she smiled. She needed some air. 

Satsuki shivered, and pulled Daiki’s jacket she was wearing around her as they cold air swept past them as they exited the building. Even outside it was hectic. People were trying to wait around to get autographs. It was going to take forever. All Satsuki wanted to do was go home, fuck, and sleep. She willed everyone who was wearing an Aomine jersey to leave. She wasn’t about to be patient, and she wasn’t leaving here without him, not when they needed to get as much time in during her window. It was vital.

Tetsu found a place a little less crowded, and told the boys they could play, but had to stay where they could see them. Satsuki settled down on the cement block light pole, and watched them run around playing tag. Their laughter was music to her ears. Would Miles and Alex get along with their baby? Would they be jealous? Even though the boys weren’t theirs, she and Daiki were literally second parents without the discipline. No, unless something happened to Kagami and Tetsu, they’d just spoil them and give them back. It was the job of godparents while the parents were still living and able, right?

“Are you feeling okay, Satsuki?” Tetsu asked, appearing next to her. 

“Yeah.” She forced a smile. “Just tired.” 

“If you’d like, I can take you home. They’re probably going to be a while.”

“No. I’ll wait for Dai-chan.” 

Tetsu nodded. “Have you healed well from surgery?” 

Satsuki nodded. “Yes, thank you.” 

“May I ask what it was for?” 

Satsuki tensed. “I’d rather not say, Tetsu.” 

“Okay.” He turned to watch his kids again. “You’ve been staring at them a lot lately.”

“I love them. They’re getting so big. I can’t believe it. When did Alex stop being a baby?” She let out a soft laugh. 

“I know. It’s crazy how quickly kids grow.” 

“Yeah. It’s like a blink of an eye, so you have to treasure every minute of it.” 

“Mmm,” Tetsu hummed in agreement. “Are you starting to want a baby?” 

Satsuki’s blood ran cold, and tears filled her eyes. She hated that she cried so easily. “Yes, but not right now. It’s not the right time. I’m still working on getting an executive position in the company where the money will be better, and I won’t have to work such long hours. Dai-chan wants to be back in Japan before we have kids. He doesn’t want them to in the public eye, you know?” 

Tetsu nodded. “I don’t mean to be rude or insensitive, but I think that you two make more than enough to give a kid the best in life. And you’re almost thirty. I hear it’s hard after thirty-five.” 

Satsuki’s blood started to boil. If she heard that one more fucking time...Yes. Remind her that she wasn’t able to have a kid at twenty-four, or twenty-five, twenty-six, as if she wasn’t hyperaware of the fact that each second that ticked on was just another factor stacked against her. Hot tears started to pour down her cheeks. She set her jaw. 

“I’m sorry if I made you cry, Satsuki. I wasn’t-”

“I know, Tetsu,” she whispered, not bothering to brush the tears away or stop it. She needed to cry. She needed the therapeutic release, and she had always been able to cry in front of him. He rubbed her back. “I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

“Okay.” Tetsu stared at her for a few seconds longer than necessary before turning his attention back to the kids.

*****

Interviews were annoying. The lights were too bright, and there were so many questions. He hated speaking English. It made him feel stupid. People did mock him, and he wished so badly they’d say it to his face instead of in passing or online. Satsuki told him he just needed to practice more, but he didn’t want to. It was hard. He envied Kagami for growing up here. Perfect fluency. Satsuki had perfect fluency in English and French because she was amazing. He was technically fluent, but after some particularly harsh comments, he’d started sitting next to Kagami and if he felt unsure, he’d just tell him. Luckily he was nice enough to oblige. Of course he’d had so much practice of telling people what someone meant since he and Tetsu had adopted the kids. 

He wanted to move to Japan if they had kids. He didn’t want them to be embarrassed of him. He was all too aware that kids did that. People were mean. People were assholes. Most of these assholes only spoke English, but had the nerve to make fun of him for trying to speak another language. He wanted to see how good they’d do in Japanese. Fuck them. Fuck interviews. Fuck reporters that published word for word, or better yet, the annoying brackets around missing words. That hurt. Interviews were the only thing that he hated about being pro.

Daiki didn’t want to be here anyway. He and Satsuki were able to take full advantage of her ovulation cycle, but the potentially fertile window was only a few more days. This was their last-ditch effort. He wanted desperately for this to work. He hated seeing Satsuki so upset. He hated watching her go through hell. He wanted a baby. He wanted a baby so badly it hurt, but he couldn’t tell Satsuki. And he really was okay with it not happening if they couldn’t. He was because if he had Satsuki, that’s all that mattered. 

Kagami nudged him. “Huh?” 

“Daiki, we asked you what your thoughts are on getting signed for another season.”

“Oh…” He pushed himself up in his chair. “I’m happy about it, obviously. This has been my dreams, so I’ll ride it as long as I can.” 

He cringed. It wasn’t right. It was so wrong. He knew he was missing words. He knew he’d said things wrong. He hated speaking English. 

“We know you’ve been married for quite some time now. Tell us, are you planning on having kids?” 

His heart sank. His stomach twisted into knots. He squeezed the water bottle in his hands so hard the sports drink sprayed out. Fucking gossip, tabloid reporters. He wasn’t expecting that question. He was expecting more sports related questions. It was in that moment when he realized just how much hurt he had been experiencing the last six years. He felt like a knife had stabbed into his heart. It hurt to breathe. The knot in his throat wouldn’t go away. 

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” 

He got up, ignoring everyone calling to him to sit down. No. Nobody in his life knew about the infertility. Nobody knew they’d been trying for six fucking years. Nobody knew. Not Tetsu, not Kagami, not Riko, not even his own fucking parents knew. He was not about to break down on camera. He didn't want to be one of those goddamn articles about “NBA Daiki Aomine opens up about infertility with wife.” He didn't want that and Satsuki didn't deserve that. Being part of the public eye was invaded privacy. It was uncomfortable conversations, being stopped in stores, restaurants, malls, parks, etc for pictures and autographs. He understood that. He wasn't a big enough deal for press to follow him yet, and he prayed it would be that way. But he was always worried. He'd told Satsuki if that ever happened, they were moving back to Tokyo. 

The door slamming against the wall amplified in the silent, empty locker room. Daiki slammed his fist against the lockers, before kicking the lower level lockers for good measure. He felt himself breaking. He fell against the lockers, and slid down before sobbing into his arms. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t. They wanted a baby so badly. They wanted to be parents more than anything. They’d gone through six years of absolute hell together, alone. He never let her see how much it hurt him that they weren’t conceiving. He’d cry with her, talk about it with her, but he never told her how it made him feel like he was shattering into a million pieces. She was right. He did want to be a father more than anything in the world. He’d give up everything if he could be a dad, but he’d give up being a dad for Satsuki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment. <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's been taking the time to read and follow this story. And those of you that comment are the reason this fic is getting chugged out so quickly. <3 I hope you're enjoying it so far.

Daiki threw yet another effortless shot. His mind was far away, and when he needed time to think, he always just shot hoops. Since he was a kid basketball had calmed him. These days it was the only thing keeping him from breaking with frustration. He wanted a baby so badly. He wanted to be a father, and always had. He'd thought of all the things he would teach them. He'd wonder what they'd look like. Would they be a daddy's girl or a mama's boy? Would he have a mini me, or would they look like Satsuki? 

Questions had run through his head, but now after five years he was frustrated. He'd started to give up on that dream. Sometimes things were just not something realistic. What made him even more upset was that Satsuki was putting herself through hell for this. She had never even once talked about having kids in the whole time they’d known each other until they were engaged, and they had the conversation about kids. Now she seemed so hyperfocused on it. 

“Aomine!” 

Daiki ignored Kagami, and threw another basket. He didn’t feel like talking. He was so sick of people trying to talk to him about what was bothering him because he wasn’t going to talk about it. Hell their own parents didn’t even know. He tried to hide it, but apparently people who knew him could sense it, and he could lie only so many times. 

“Hey.” Kagami picked up the ball, and stood in front of him. “Are you and Satsuki fighting again?” 

“Again?” Daiki raised an eyebrow at him. “When were Satsuki and I fighting?” 

“Isn’t that why you come in with steam to burn off?” 

“No.” Daiki glared at him. “Don’t you ever think that you know anything about my marriage.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Play me. One on one.” He took another ball out of the bin.

“I’d love to, but Tetsuya and Satsuki are waiting for us in the lobby.” 

“Huh?” Daiki crossed his arms only now realizing that Kagami was dressed nicely. A button down shirt, and nice slacks. “Why are they waiting for us?” 

“The party?” 

“Party?” 

“Your parents are throwing it to celebrate us being signed another season.” 

“Ah.” 

Daiki nodded. He hated it. Every year another party to celebrate his accomplishments. They meant well, but he and Satsuki didn’t need to be around that. Their friends would have their kids. Family would be asking them about kids like they always did. Satsuki especially didn’t need that. He wished she’d just let him tell them. If people knew, they’d stop asking. But Satsuki saw it differently. She felt that if they were to know, then they’d be upset that they let their son marry someone who couldn’t have children, or worse look at them with pity. To be honest he would hate being looked at like that, but in the past he had. It was awful. And if anyone thought negatively about Satsuki, they were dead to him. He doubted it though. Their whole life Satsuki had been the favorite child.

He shot another hoop. “I don’t know if I want to go.” 

“It’s your parents? Besides Satsuki is dressed up all pretty.” 

“She’s always pretty,” Daiki muttered. 

“Well even more. Come on. Go take a shower, and get ready. Don’t make her upset. Tetsu said she’s seemed down lately after her surgery.” 

Daiki’s blood started to boil, but he didn’t say anything. He just grabbed his stuff and stormed out of the gym leaving the mess to Kagami. Don’t make her upset. Since when did that become Kagami’s business? Don’t make her upset. Fuck him. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know the half of it. What was going to make her upset was going to that party. He knew it, and that was why he didn’t want to go. But he couldn’t very well say it. One of these days it was going pour out. He’d been holding it back five years. 

Daiki finished getting ready, and walked to the lobby of the gymnasium. Satsuki was talking to Tetsu with a huge smile and sparkling eyes. Kagami was right. She was dressed up all pretty. He’d known her his whole life, but there were times when he’d see her and she’d blow his breath away. On their wedding day, he was sure he was going to die of a heart attack because she was stunning. Watching her stand there now in a pink sundress that was form fitting through the hips before flaring out, and her hair pinned up in a bun with her makeup done perfectly, he fell in love again. 

“Dai-chan!” She called when she saw him. She ran over to him, and pounced on him with a tight hug. “Finally.” 

“I’m sorry, Satsuki. I forgot.” He raised his eyes to where their friends were waiting. “Are you sure you want to go? I don’t want anyone upsetting you.” 

“I’m not burning your parents, Daiki.” She rolled her eyes, and huffed a piece of hair out of her face, a cute habit she had since they were kids. “They came all the way from Japan just to throw you a party. We’re going.” 

“Okay…” He rubbed the back of his head. “But if you-”

“I know.” She squeezed his hand. “Let’s not talk about this right now, okay? I don’t want them to overhear us.

“Okay.” He laced their fingers, and kissed the back of her hand. “You know Kagami thinks we’ve been fighting.” 

Satsuki let out a small laugh, and shook her head. “I guess we’ve made up then.” 

“I guess so.” 

The drive to the party consisted of Satsuki and Tetsu talking about different things. Daiki tried to interact, but his head wasn’t in it. All he could think about was what was going to happen at the party. They’d just found out about the fibroids, and now they were finally going to be able to try again, so Satsuki was back on all the medications. They were both so nervous. He was exhausted. Satsuki finally seemed like she’d come out of that haze, and now this. Part of him just wanted to quit basketball so his parents wouldn’t have a reason to come to America to throw a damn party. He kept playing with Satsuki’s hand nervously. He didn’t want the questions. 

They arrived at the house where cars were parked everywhere. It was always surprising how many people his parents were able to invite when they didn’t even live here. Daiki rubbed his eyes as they walked into the brightly lit entry of the house, Satsuki leading the way. Immediately they were swarmed with people giving their congratulations. It was overwhelming. He should be used to it all by now, but there was a difference between interviews and this. When it was friends and family, where were you supposed to go? 

“Daddy! Daddy!” Kagami’s sons ran over to him, attacking them with big hugs. “We missed you! Aunt Riko said we could have candy if we were good. Can we have candy?” 

“Um, not right now. Let’s have dinner first, okay?” Kagami ruffled the boy’s hair, and excused himself to go talk to some family members who were waving him down. 

Daiki chuckled to himself, and knelt down. “How about we make a deal.” He glanced from one boy to the other. “If you don’t tell your dads, I’ll give you this.” 

He held out a handful of sweets, and the boys took them happily. Daiki liked to keep snacks with him for when he got hungry and couldn’t go get something to eat, and he had a massive sweet tooth that Satsuki was always getting onto him about. 

“Thank you, Uncle Daiki!” Miles beamed. 

“Yeah, thank you!” Alex mimicked.

“So that means that we have to go outside. Do you want to play?” The boys nodded. “Okay, then let’s go.” 

Daiki stood up, and turned to Satsuki who had a sad smile on her face. He pulled her into a hug, and kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back. Do you want to ditch with us?” 

“I’ll stay here.” 

“Okay.” 

*****

Satsuki found Riko pulling her toddlers apart. Riko looked so annoyed and frustrated. Her hair was in it’s usual style with a clip on both sides. Her clothes were nothing special. Satsuki took a moment to admire it. Riko and other mothers she knew said it was the “mom look.” Supposedly there wasn’t time to take care of yourself when you had small children. They hated it, but Satsuki longed for it. She didn’t care if she never looked nice again. She just wanted a baby, and seeing Daiki immediately run off with Tetsu and Kagami’s boys didn’t help make her feel any better. If anything, she felt worse because he is so good with them. 

“Oh goodness, Satsuki, be so glad you and Daiki don’t have kids. It’s exhausting. Don’t do it. You’ll get bags under your eyes, and your hair will forever be pulled and sticky.” She ran her hand through her hair as if to prove a point. 

“Right,” Satsuki forced a smile, and fought against the tears that threatened her. “I think it’s beautiful.” 

Riko scoffed, and crossed her arms. “Sometimes I look in the mirror and want to kill Junpei for doing this to me.”

“I sometimes want to kill Daiki too,” Satsuki laughed. 

“Not the same. You two have known each other so long that it’s inevitable you’d want to murder each other a few times.” Riko shook her head, and picked up a glass of wine. “This is my only source of sanity. Do you want some?”

“Oh, no, thank you. I’m not drinking.” 

Riko raised and eyebrow. She gasped. “Wait! Are you pregnant?” 

“No.”

“Are you trying?” 

“No,” Satsuki lied. It was easier to just lie than tell the truth. “I just don’t feel like drinking. Can I hold Reo?” 

“Huh,” Riko said, cocking her head to the side. She turned her body to hand the six month old over. “Here ya go.” 

Reo felt perfect in her arms. Satsuki hugged him close to her, and couldn’t help but plant a kiss on the child’s head. He smelled so good. Babies always smelled good. She didn’t know what it was, but they always smelled good. Especially newborns. It was like the new car smell. New baby smell.

“So when _are_ you and Daiki gonna have kids. He seems like he’d be a great dad. He’s amazing with the kids, and is always playing with them. And you’re really good with kids too. You always want to hold them, and babysit, and take care of them.” 

The words cut through Satsuki like a knife. It was true, and she hated it. He deserved to be a father. He deserved to have his own kids, and she was the one thing standing in the way of that. Since when did they come to a point in their lives when kids was the main topic? What happened to talking about school, careers, jobs, days, traveling? All of those things were still important. It wasn’t just kids. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if we’re going to honestly,” Satsuki said softly, playing with Reo, making exaggerated faces. 

“Of course.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing. I’m just saying you do care a lot about appearances at work working for a fashion and beauty corporation. And with Daiki being in the spotlight, you have to look perfect, right? You always look perfect. It’s not fair.” Riko frowned. 

“Oh…” Satsuki cleared her throat, tears pooling in her eyes. “I’m not a vain person, Riko, and I’d appreciate if you stop. You always say stuff like that.” 

“Hey, now, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything negative by it.” 

“It’s okay. I’m just hormonal. Started my period. Here, take Reo back. I’m going to go find Dai-chan. I’m getting a headache, and he has medicine in his bag.”

“I have some,” Riko said taking her baby. “Just give me a minute.” 

“No, it’s okay. I’m gonna find Daiki.” 

Satsuki couldn’t handle it. She hated those kind of backhanded comments. Riko was jealous. She knew that. She couldn’t blame her. Riko had people straight up tell her she was so plain when in reality she was so cute and pretty. Boys always lined up for Satsuki. It wasn’t a walk in the park for either of them, but so many people found it hard to understand. The world made it seem like a girl’s worth was by how much male attention she got and it was bullshit. She wiped a tear from her cheek. 

Daiki was outside as expected playing basketball with Miles, Alex, and Tetsu. He picked up Alex, and helped him slam dunk. 

“We did it! We won!” Daiki cheered. “All thanks to Alex!” 

“No fair!” Miles was protesting. “Papa isn’t as tall as you.” 

“But Alex is littler than you so it makes up the difference, right Alex?” The boy nodded with a big smile on his face. 

She chewed her lip watching. It was such a sweet moment, but all she could do was tear up and think about what could have been. It was so easy for so many people to have kids. It made her so angry that it was so difficult for them. She hated that it had consumed their thoughts and lives. Were they even happy anymore? She loved Daiki with everything in her, and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but the last five years seemed to be pushing them apart yet pulling them together. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d had sex full of love and passion, rather than a job. That was always a big part of their relationship, and it wasn’t even good anymore because it was scheduled around her fertile cycles.

“Dai-chan!” She called, making her way over. 

“Hey! We beat Miles and Tetsu!” 

“I see that. Good job, Alex.” She ruffled his hair, and kissed the boy on his cheek. He beamed, wrapping his arms around her neck in a hug. “I think dinner is about to be served.” 

“Finally,” Daiki said rolling his eyes. “I’m starving. 

They walked hand in hand into the building once more with Daiki holding Alex in the other arm, and this time Satsuki felt sick. Everyone was starting to sit down at their assigned spots, and she knew that they were going to be seated at a table with their parents. That was the last thing that she needed right now. If Riko’s questions and comments hurt, it was nothing compared to their parents. Daiki’s parents had always loved her, but lately they’d been cold and passive aggressive. She knew why, and it was going to be too much. 

She sat down hesitantly, doing her best to put on a smile, and greet everyone appropriately. When all the attention was placed on her husband, she breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I’m so proud of you, baby!” his mother was going on. “I knew it was going to happen. You doubted yourself.” 

“No, I didn’t,” Daiki smirked, sitting down. 

“You did.” 

“Not even for a second.” 

“Oh, Daiki, don’t be like that. It’s okay to admit when you worried about your future.” 

“Don’t you remember his little mantra in middle and high school?” Satsuki cut in before imitating his voice. “The only one who can beat me is me. Doesn’t sound like he ever doubted himself.” She laughed.

“Shut up, Satsuki.” 

“See? Things never change.” Satsuki threw her hands in the air playfully.

“I see. So how’s work going, Satsuki.” 

“Well. I got a promotion so I’m a junior executive now. I’m really excited about it.” 

“You are so ambitious climbing up the corporate ladder, and it’s a perfect industry for you. Fashion and beauty,” Daiki’s father commented. 

“Well I don’t actually handle that. I handle the other side. We meet with the other departments such as advertising and design. We make the final call, and give our opinions. We also will approve finance and budget. I-”

“So,” Daiki’s mother cut her off, folding her hands across the table, “when are you going to give us a grandchild?” 

“I’m not-” 

“You’re so focused on your career. Maybe it’s time to step back a little, and focus on other things. Daiki makes more than enough money for you to stay home.” She batted her eyelashes.

“It’s me actually,” Daiki cut in. “I don’t want to have kids until I decide to retire. I don’t want my kids growing up in the limelight. Once I retire, we’re moving back to Japan. Then we’ll have kids. It’s not Satsuki. She’s always asking about it. I keep shutting the topic down.” 

Daiki put an arm around her protectively. She leaned into him instinctively. He made her feel safe. The lump in her throat melted. 

“Oh Daiki, you know that’s silly. Nobody is going to care about your children. Look at Tetsuya and Taiga. Their kids are hardly mentioned.” 

“Not gonna risk it,” Daiki said firmly. “And to be clear, I didn’t want to come tonight, but Satsuki made me just like she’s always made me do everything. And if Satsuki believes in me, then I know I can do it which is why I’m where I’m at. I would have quit had it not been for her. So if you’re going to continue this passive aggressive bullshit, then we’ll go.”

“Dai-chan!”

He held up a hand to her, an annoyed look on his face. “I don’t care what Satsuki has to say on the matter. You’re not going to blame her for a decision I made.” 

“Daiki, sweetheart, we’re only trying to talk about the future. It’s not like Satsuki’s getting any younger. You’ll both be thirty soon. It’s so difficult to conceive after thirty-five. The biological clock is ticking, Satsuki.” 

Daiki slammed his hands on the table, and stood up causing everything to clatter. 

“Stop! For your information, we ha-. No, you know what? I’m not going to stay. I’m tired.” He stood up. “Come on, Satsuki.” 

He didn’t wait for her to follow. She watched him walk away like he had so many times in his life. He didn’t handle getting angry well. For so much of their life, he’d been one that cried in anger. Now it was outbursts, or walking away. Mostly walking away. He didn’t care. 

“I’m so sorry, Satsuki. I didn’t mean anything negative.”

“It’s okay. He’s just been working really hard. Thank you so much for this dinner.” Satsuki gathered her things, saying bye to her in-laws and parents before running after Daiki. She found him outside kicking the side of the house. Tears were in his eyes, and a few had fallen down his face.

“Why didn’t you just follow me, Satsuki?” He asked, his voice hollow. “I hate that. I hate how they talk to you.” 

“It’s fine, Dai-chan.”

“It’s not fine!” He rubbed his face in an attempt to calm himself. “It’s not like we’re not trying. Can’t we just tell them, Satsuki? Please? I hate people just making stupid comments when it’s literally killing us inside? You inside? I think this is something more than we can handle alone at this point. Six years could be the limit.” 

“No, you’re wrong. We can’t. And don’t you think those comments are going to be worse? ‘Oh how sad.’ ‘Maybe you should get a divorce.’ That stuff. You hear it all the time. They want grandchildren, Daiki.” 

“Maybe we can get a couple cats and tell them we’re having twins.” He laughed. 

“You’re the one who gets to clean the litter box, and messes. It can be toxic to fetuses.” 

“Deal.” He smiled, and pulled her into a hug. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too. Now will you please come back inside and make your parents happy? Maybe it’ll get me back in their good graces.” She laughed softly. 

“I want to go home.” He rested his chin on her head. “We’ll find out soon. I’m too nervous to be around these people.” 

“Okay. We’ll go.” Satsuki said softly after a moment.

*****

They’d gone through pregnancy tests before only to be disappointed each time. You’d think after a certain period of time they’d just stop feeling anxious and excited. Years of this. Satsuki closed the door to the bathroom, and sat next to Daiki on the bed. She hoped with every part of her soul that she was pregnant. She silently prayed and begged to every higher power known to man for the word PREGNANT to appear. Just once. That was it. Just one time. One baby. That’s all they asked. 

Daiki played with the sleeves of his hoodie. He’d been so quiet the past week. He refused to talk to his parents, or accept their apology. He told her it was just plain disrespectful of them to talk to her, and if he did talk to them, he’d probably tell them everything like he almost did at the dinner. Satsuki had lunch with them several times, and even hosted them at the apartment while Daiki locked himself in the bedroom much to her dismay. She wasn’t going to let her second parents come to America to throw a party for their son only to leave without seeing them. She loved them. 

“What do you think they’re gonna say?” he asked softly. 

“What do you mean?” she looked at him, brushing her hair behind her ear. “The tests?” 

“No.” He bit his lip to keep from smiling. “What do you think my parents are gonna say when we tell them you’re pregnant?”

“Daiki, we don’t know-”

“You are. I can feel it.”

“Dai-chan…” She didn’t know what to say. He was so convinced. He was never like this. 

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. But you’re different somehow. I think you are. It’s gonna say so.” He nodded toward the bathroom. 

The timer went off, and Satsuki took a few deep breaths before standing up, and holding her hand out to him. “Let’s find out.” 

She closed her eyes, and took a few breaths with her hand lingering on the door. _Please, please, please let them be positive._ She opened her eyes after the silent prayer before opening the door. The tests were sitting there on the counter with the answer to their fate. Yes or no. Six years. Would this be the end? Or would they keep trying? She swallowed the lump in her throat, and picked them up. Her heart hit the floor. 

PREGNANT

PREGNANT

PREGNANT

All three were positive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment <3


	6. Tragic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for all the support! It means so much. <3
> 
> Be prepared. As the title suggests, it gets really heavy/sad. Trigger warning for miscarriage.

Satsuki hummed softly to herself as she drove to the clinic for her ultrasound. Dr. Adams wanted to get her in as soon as possible since they'd had so much trouble with conceiving. Daiki was going to meet her there after practice. She couldn't wait to hear that strong little heartbeat that she'd longed to hear for the last six years. It wasn't fair they'd had to wait this long, but it would make them cherish this child more than anything. Having dealt with what they had dealt with, Satsuki knew they wouldn't have been as in love or as thankful as they were now. 

She parked her car, and walked in. Daiki was already in the lobby on his phone with earbuds in his ears, bouncing his leg. She smiled, and checked in before going to sit next to him. He glanced at her before smiling and giving her a hello kiss. Everyone said that it was the mom that glowed when she was pregnant, but Daiki was shining. She'd never seen him so happy as he was with that positive test. It had only been two weeks since they found out, but he'd already started buying stuff. He was certain it was a boy. Satsuki wasn't sure. 

Daiki wanted a boy. She knew that. The idea of having a little girl was nice, but Satsuki didn't know what she'd do with a girl. She was an only child, and for most of her life had only been around boys. She only had three female friends in her twenty-nine years of life. Satsuki was a girly girl and a tomboy in one. She understood boys. She knew how they worked. Girls, not so much. But she didn't care what they had. Just wanted to hold a healthy baby. 

"Mrs. Aomine," the nurse called them back, and offered a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Satsuki replied. 

"Growing a baby is hard work!" She turned to Daiki. "You have a new job making sure she's happy. When Mama's not happy, nobody's happy." 

Daiki laughed, and nodded. "Of course." 

They got her height, weight, vitals, and asked a few questions. Satsuki was instructed to change into a gown, and sit on the exam table while they waited for the doctor. She swung her feet causally, glancing around the room. Daiki walked over to her, and kissed her.

"Do you know how much I love you?" 

"Not as much as I love you," she giggled. 

There'd never been a phase in their relationship where they got butterflies with each other. There was the feeling of being nervous that you were in love with your best friend. Neither one of the wanted to ruin the relationship, and how Daiki had gone four years without saying a word was beyond Satsuki. But lately things had been different. They'd been cutesy with each other. There was a lot of "no you' and giggles. It was like they were two kids who'd just fallen in love. It felt new. It was what they'd missed. 

The doctor came in with a smile. "Hello! Congratulations you two! The blood and urine tests were both positive. Are you ready for a sonogram?" 

Satsuki nodded happily. This was the moment she'd waited for, dreamed of for the last six years. It was going to be real. She was going to get to see her baby, their baby. She laid back on the table, and grinned at Daiki, who laced their fingers together, and planted a soft kiss to her forehead. 

"I love you." 

"Love you too." 

Satsuki pulled the gown up, and Dr. Adams squirted some warm gel on her pelvis. She picked up the ultrasound wand, and placed it on Satsuki. Satsuki held her breath while she waited for the doctor to find the heartbeat. 

Waited. 

Waited. 

Waited. 

"Is everything okay?" Satsuki asked, panic starting to fill her. She knew it sometimes took a while, but this was too much. 

"I'm not finding anything," Dr. Adams muttered as she moved the wand around. "I can see..." 

"What?" 

Dr. Adams pulled the wand away, and handed Satsuki a few napkins to clean herself with. Satsuki felt sick. She knew the answer, but she refused to accept it, refused to think it because if she thought it, then it was real. Not until Dr. Adams told them was she going to think it. 

"Satsuki, Daiki, I am so, so sorry," Dr. Adams said gently. 

"About what?" Daiki blinked. 

"There's no heartbeat, and the embryo is already detaching from the uterus." 

"No." Satsuki shook her head. "No, you're wrong. You have to be wrong. My baby is okay. You're wrong. No. Please, god, no." Her body trembled as tears filled her vision. 

"How...?" Daiki asked. "What?"

"You're miscarrying." She turned to Satsuki, and put her hand on her thigh. "Satsuki, listen to me. Look at me." 

"No! No! No! The baby is okay." 

"No, Satsuki. Listen to me. You're going to miscarry. You can do it naturally at home, or you can have what's called a D and C."

"I-I-I wanna go home," Satsuki sobbed. Daiki wrapped his arms around her. She balled her fists. "I wanna go home. They're okay," Satsuki whispered. "Dai-chan we have to go home." 

"I'll give you a minute." 

Dr. Adams walked out of the room leaving the two of them with the news. Satsuki sobbed uncontrollably into Daiki's chest. It couldn't be. Six years. Six years. Six years, and she finally gets pregnant only to lose it. Why was Daiki holding her? Why wasn't he angry? Why wasn't he going leaving? Wasn't he going to leave her? She’d lost their baby. The one thing she was supposed to do, she failed at. Just like she’d failed for six fucking years to get pregnant. She didn’t understand how Daiki was even still there. He shouldn’t be. 

His arms tightened around her. “I love you,” he whispered before his body wracked with sobs.

*****

Daiki sat in the extra bedroom of their house holding the teddy bear he’d bought for their baby. He’d taken all of the stuff he’d bought the last two weeks and spread them around him. Satsuki was sleeping finally leaving him to his grief. Had he jinxed it? Was this his fault? He’d bought the teddy bear, some stuffed animals, baby Jordans stuff, Lakers stuff. Just a bunch of stuff. Things he thought their kid would like. Satsuki told him it was too early to buy things, but he hadn’t listened. She told him they didn’t even know if it was going to be a boy or a girl. He knew it was a boy. He knew with his entire soul. In his mind they lost their son even if they didn’t know. 

He felt numb. He didn’t cry. It was so painful. He could feel the pain inside, but emotionally he was numb. It was a defense mechanism. He knew that. But it made him feel awful. Satsuki was a mess. He’d tried for so long to get her to go to sleep. He’d held her until he was sure before he left to come to what would have been their child’s room. They’d put a crib in here. Painted the walls a soft mint. There was a mobile on the crib. A bookshelf with books, and an shelf with stuff animals. They’d set it up when they started trying because they wanted to prepare. In a way they may have jinxed it. Neither of them had stepped foot in the room for probably four years. They even kept it locked, but when Satsuki found out she was pregnant they opened it back up to prepare again. Now it was just going to be left empty again. 

He hugged the bear tighter, and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. They just wanted a baby. That was all. Just a baby. They’d give up everything for a baby. He’d stop playing basketball. Satsuki would leave the company. They’d live off the millions they had stacked away from living a humble life. Why couldn’t the just have a baby? Everywhere they looked people were having babies. Fuck, people who were on drugs were having a million babies. Teenage girls who had no means to take care of a baby. People who didn’t want kids. People who would abuse their kids. Seeing that stuff on the news made him so sick. Why did they get kids? Tetsu and Kagami complained about their kids. Riko and Hyuuga complained. People complained about their kids all around them, but to them they’d take it all with a smile. They just wanted a baby. 

Daiki tried to take in a breath, but it caught just below the cords before the sobs escaped him. They just wanted a baby. Six years of infertility hurt. Three possible miscarriages after IVF didn’t take hurt. But this, losing their baby for real, it was like being gutted. Their child died. Their baby died. Nobody knew. He wasn’t sure if they’d ever get over this, or if they could even try. Just how long and how far could they take? What if there were more? What if it turned into a fluke? They’d try for years long until they’d passed the mark, and this would be the one and only. He felt like dying. 

“Please, anyone who’s listening, please give us a baby. I’ll stop playing basketball. I’ll give up everything for them. I’ll stay at home. Just please, please let us have a baby,” Daiki whispered the prayer they’d prayed so many times before. 

*****

It didn't make sense. None of it made sense. Satsuki tried to ignore the incessant cramping in her pelvis as she made her coffee. She bit her lip with tears in her eyes resisting the urge to curl up in a ball in bed with a heat pad, and mourn. The baby had passed last night. She'd seen it, held it, and put it in the specimen cup Dr. Adams had instructed her to put it and the placenta. They had to hand over their baby to them. It twisted her stomach making her feel the need to vomit, but she didn't. All she could see was going to change her pad, and seeing it. At that moment she knew that she hadn't miscarried with the failed IVF. She'd never seen it. The embryos never took. The terrible period after wasn't what they'd feared. She wasn't sure if she was happy or sad at the revelation. She didn't want to hand their baby to the doctor. It was how they were going to make sure everything came out so Satsuki wasn't going to get an infection. They were also going to do tests. Her baby was going to be an experiment. 

“Hey, there you are.” 

Satsuki glanced up at Daiki before turning her attention to the coffee. She didn't want to talk to anyone, least of all him. What could she say? I'm sorry my body killed our last chance of a baby?

“Are you seriously going to work?” She didn't reply. “Satsuki with everything-”

“With everything what?” she snapped turning to face him. “I know! I KNOW! But Daiki I have to go to work because I can't call in like normal and say I had a miscarriage because-”

“Because you don't want anyone knowing we're having trouble.” Daiki rolled his eyes. “You know maybe, just maybe this whole thing is bullshit. Maybe we're kidding ourselves, Satsuki. It's not easier. It's harder. I feel like I'm going to explode any day now. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to pretend everything is okay when it's not. I'm tired of having to act like it's not physically painful when I see a baby, or when we're around our friends’ kids. I hate that I find myself secretly hoping something would happen to Tetsu and Kagami sometimes. And I'm sick of watching you do this. Stay home Satsuki. Don't run away from it. Just let yourself grieve. Our baby just died and you're going to work?”

Tears poured down his cheeks, and even the way he made his arguments were so unsettling. He wasn't angry. He was hurt. She could see how heartbroken he was. But she exploded.

“I know! I know more than you! I'm sick of this too. More than you because this wasn't something I really thought about until you because you want to be a dad. I know our baby died, but I can't stay home and cry because what good will it do? What good has it ever done you? Go take you medicine. Go to practice. Get over yourself and realize you're not the only one hurting! I have to go to work because if I don't then things won't be normal.”

“So that's the answer? Every time I feel like shit, take my meds? I am. I think it's perfectly natural and healthy to feel this way.” He ran his hands through his hair and over his face. “You don’t want to come with me to take the baby to Dr. Adams?” 

“Go to practice. We’re not telling anyone.” She glared at him before walking past him. Fuck him. 

Satsuki didn’t understand why Daiki didn’t get it. They’d see their friends less, their godchildren less, because when people found out they’d been trying for six years only to have a miscarriage, they’d get weird. They’d tiptoe around them. They wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable around the kids. People would look at them with sympathy. Conversations weren’t going to be about normal things anymore. The simple “so when are you having kids” or complaining about their kids would be no more. Suddenly the dialogue would be about the infertility, about the miscarriage, about their struggle. Her marriage had already become that. The rest of her life couldn’t turn into that. She refused to let it. 

As for wanting to go with him to take their child to the the doctor where they’d be an experiment, what good would that do? Daiki was the strong one. Daiki was the one who could handle it. She couldn’t. She refused to break down again over this. She wanted to move on with her day, with their life. They’d try again, and again, and again because she promised Daiki a million times that she would give him a baby, and she never broke her promises to him. Not that he’d ever been awake or heard her make the promises. But still. She made them. She wasn’t going to break them. So she was going to go to work and pretend so she could get through it. It was just another period. That’s all she had to think because it was the only way she was going to be able to move forward.

*****

Daiki sat on the bench of the locker room, staring at the ground. He didn’t want to go home. He wasn’t ready. He couldn’t face Satsuki when he was feeling like this. She was already upset enough without him being upset around her because then she’d want to help him which would make her feel guilty which would make him feel even worse. He still couldn’t believe they’d had an official miscarriage when finally after years they’d finally seen a test say pregnant. Two weeks. That’s all they got. Two fucking weeks. That was it. Nothing had hurt that much. He was even able to see the baby. It looked more like a vague depiction of an alien or something than a baby, but it was their baby. And he’d had to hand it over alone for testing. Hopefully that baby boy was their answer. He didn’t care that it was too soon to tell, he knew it was a boy, and that would be part of the tests they did. So he’d know they lost their son.

“You okay?” Kagami asked, drying his hair. 

His friend’s voice pulled him from this thoughts. He’d been in his head for most of the day, and just hoped that his playing was as effortless as usual, but by the look he was being given, he hadn’t. The locker room had emptied out already even though it felt like he’d just walked in. Kagami even had time to shower. Meanwhile he was in his sweaty practice clothes. 

Daiki glanced up at him and shrugged. “‘M fine.” 

“You don’t look fine. You’ve been acting weird. Seriously are you and Satsuki fighting? When Tetsuya and I-” 

Daiki glared at him. “No. We’re not fucking fighting. And even if we were, I wouldn’t talk to you about it because I don’t need your shitty ass advice. Stop. Pushing. Me.” 

“Sorry…” Kagami muttered. “Just trying to be a friend.” 

Daiki scoffed, and shook his head. Friend. That was what he needed. “So just buy me a beer.” 

“Wait...you’re not going to rush home like you always do?” 

“No.” Daiki rolled his eyes, and stood up. “Look you said you wanted to be a friend, and I need one so buy me a beer, okay?” 

Kagami stared at him for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, yeah, okay. I’ll buy you a beer.” 

“Thank you,” Daiki said quietly, his hands squeezing the strap of his gym bag. 

“Maybe at least change,” Kagami said slapping him on the shoulder as he walked out of the locker room, leaving Daiki alone with his thoughts. 

Daiki quickly showered and changed before going to find Kagami who was waiting in the hall. Then silently they just walked out of the building to the car. 

He promised Satsuki that he wouldn’t drink since she couldn’t. She had told him that it was okay if he drank, but he insisted that it wouldn’t be fair. Satsuki’s smile in that moment had been one of Daiki’s favorite smiles, and that hug was one of his favorites. She knew he was supporting her. It was his idea to have a baby in the first place. Guilt swarmed him. He was going to break that promise, but he didn’t know how to handle this right now, and he just needed to take the edge off so he could be there for his wife. 

Kagami finished up, and called Tetsu to let him know he’d be in late. They put their bags in Daiki’s car, and walked to the bar nearby silently. Kagami tried to make small talk, but Daiki kept shutting it down, so instead Kagami talked about the kids which really was the worst thing, but Daiki didn’t say a word. He loved his nephews. He didn’t care that they weren’t blood related. Never had. Tetsu had been their best friend for years. After Daiki and Kagami got scouted for the same team, they’d become closer than Daiki was with Tetsu. It felt weird not being able to talk about this huge thing. 

They sat down at the bar, and Daiki ordered before Kagami could even get comfortable. Kagami frowned, and stared at him for a minute. “What?” Daiki snapped. 

“Just...what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” 

“You’re acting so weird.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“I don’t think you are.” 

“Can you just shut up?” Daiki put his elbows on the bar, and rubbed his face and hair. 

He fought back the tears threatening him. He wanted to break down and have a good cry, but he couldn’t. Satsuki needed him to be strong. Kagami didn’t know, and honestly Daiki didn’t want to have that experience with him. He’d only ever broken down to Satsuki and Tetsu. He figured if he lost the battle, at least Kagami would have a right of passage as his best friend. 

As soon as the bartender set the glass down, Daiki downed the pint of beer, and ordered another. The trend continued a few time before he slowed down and just nursed another glass. He needed to clear his mind. He needed to make it stop. He needed just one moment of not thinking about infertility or about the miscarriage. 

“You know I’d listen to you if you wanted to talk, right?” Kagami asked, holding his glass of beer. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” 

“You just drank like four glasses of beer in twenty minutes.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Okay.” Kagami sighed, and leaned on his arms that were resting on the bar. “Whenever you’re ready.”

He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He’d already broken one promise to Satsuki, what was another? Besides it made him angry that she didn’t let him talk about it to anyone. There really wasn’t any use in trying to pretend anymore. Kagami was so damn persistent. When did Kagami become such a dad person? Yeah, they’d had their kids five years, but damn. Five years changed him. Daiki wished he was more like himself back in high school and early years playing ball together. That guy wouldn’t be pushing him to open up like this. No. He had to turn into a great friend, especially after he became a dad. Honestly he should have never let Kagami know about his depression, but when he saw him take his medicine and Kagami thought he was doing something sketchy, he had to tell him.

Kagami cleared his throat, and shifted in his seat. “I don’t really know how to deal with depression, but if you’re having a relapse episode...Well Satsuki said that...I mean...I heard...Aomine, don’t feel like you can’t talk to someone. Don’t do something stupid.” 

“It’s not that,” Daiki said with a laugh, shaking his head, and taking another gulp of his beer. “Fuck, I wish it was.” 

“The what?” Kagami pried.

“Satsuki had a miscarriage,” Daiki muttered to the table. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you guys were trying. Or was it a surprise? I’m not sure how those things work.” 

Daiki let out a small laugh. “Six years.” 

“What?” 

“Six years. We’ve been trying for six fucking years.” Daiki brushed the tears out of his eye. “Six years. She’s gone through so much. And finally, finally we get our chance, and she has a miscarriage. How fucked up is that? And, and my wife is a mess and needs me, but I'm sitting here getting drunk with you. What kind of husband am I?” 

“I didn't know that. I'm sorry.”

“Nobody knew. Just the two of us.” Daiki rubbed his eyes in an attempt to keep the tears in check. “It's been so fucking hard, Taiga. So hard. I don’t know what to do. I can’t handle this. I’ve never been good at handling stuff like this. I don’t know how to help Satsuki. I...I want to help her feel better, but how can I when I feel like I’m about to break?”

Kagami was silent, just staring into his own beer. 

“Please,” Daiki begged in a whisper. “I know you’re not the best at this, but I need advice. I need to know how to help Satsuki.” 

“Let’s go somewhere,” Kagami left some cash on the bar, and called to the bartender he was closing out the tab. 

“Where?” 

“Private? You’re about to break down, and I don’t think you want to do it here. Come on.” 

Daiki slowly got off the bench, and gauged how drunk he was before following Kagami slowly. They barely made it to the car before the flood gates burst open, and Daiki just lost it, bent over and just sobbing uncontrollably. He didn’t care anymore. Kagami was official. Daiki hated letting himself be so vulnerable in front of people. He wasn’t one of those “men don’t cry” types. Toxic masculinity. That’s what Satsuki called it. But there was a difference between crying and breaking down, and breaking down in public wasn’t something you should do no matter what. 

He felt like trash. Satsuki needed him. She needed him to be strong for her, and to help. But he was six years in, and he never got to release anything because he refused to let her think it was her fault. Because if Satsuki knew how this was eating at him, then she would. She was already on this kick about not being able to give him a child and feeling so goddamn guilty. It wasn’t her fault, and honestly he didn’t give a fuck if they didn’t at this point. What was the point? Satsuki was going through pure hell. Every single time she got her period, their hearts broke. This...losing their baby, their miracle child dying...it was too much. 

He cried for them. He cried for Satsuki who up until he’d brought up kids, had never really thought about being a mother. He cried for what could have been, but never was. He mourned the loss of them having kids. In another world, they could have a five year old, but they didn’t. He used to hear stories of infertility and think how awful it sounded, but until you experienced it, you didn’t know, couldn’t even fathom what it was like. 

He cried until he couldn’t cry anymore, and his body was exhausted. That was when he realized Kagami had his arms around him, and was hugging him. Nobody had done that except for Satsuki. It felt weird, but he didn’t move away. After a few minutes of silence, he pulled away. 

“I’m so sorry.” He laughed, and shook it his head. “It’s so stupid.” 

“It’s not.” Kagami said quietly. “I know it’s not the same thing, but obviously Tetsuya and I can’t have kids. We knew that we wouldn’t, ya know? But in a way it hurt that we couldn’t like other people. We looked for adopting a kid, and we got Alex and Miles. Maybe that’s something to look into.”

“Thanks,” Daiki said cooly. “I get it, but it’s not the same. You’re right. Because we should be able to have a kid. And I brought it up to Satsuki, and she completely shut down adoption because she said it would remind her that she was ‘broken.’ She’s not.”

“I don’t know what to do in this situation. I’m not good at giving advice, but I know Tetsuya is, and he’d say to talk to Satsuki. Tell her how you feel. Maybe, maybe she needs you to just cry with her. All I know is going out and getting drunk doesn’t help anyone. Do you want me to drive you home?” 

Daiki nodded, and pulled his seat belt on. “Taiga?” 

“Hm?” 

“What if I make it worse?” 

“You won’t. She’s your best friend, your wife. I think you being honest would be the best thing.” 

Daiki nodded again, and stared out the window. “You’re a good friend, Kagami.” 

*****

Daiki walked into the house, tugging at his hoodie. He was nervous. Kagami had bought him food, and forced him to eat a nice, greasy meal to sober him up so Satsuki wouldn’t know he’d been drunk earlier. Still he was sure Satsuki would know. His stomach twisted and turned as he gathered up the strength to tell Satsuki the truth on how he was feeling. He had to open up to her, to let her know she wasn’t alone, that he didn’t blame her. Because no matter how many times he told her, he hadn’t let himself fully let the walls down. If he did, then she’d know. 

It was quiet. Daiki figured Satsuki must be asleep by now. He let out a sigh of relief. He had some time to think. He opened the door to find a suitcase open on the bed, and Satsuki packing it up, sobbing the whole time. 

“What are you doing?” he asked softly, trying to hide the trembling that was starting to take over. 

“Was practice late?” she asked, turning her back to him.. 

“No, no, I, um...I went to get a drink with Kagami. I know I said I wouldn’t, but I did. I’m sorry. And I kind of had too much, so Kagami insisted on sobering me up.” She didn’t say anything. Just stood there putting clothes in the suitcase with her back to him, like he wasn’t even there. “Satsuki?” 

“You told him.” Satsuki her voice was hollow. She tensed at the question, anticipating the answer she already knew.

“Yeah, but I couldn’t hold it anymore, Satsuki.”

“I told you not to. I asked you not to.” There was no anger in her voice. Really nothing in her voice. It was chilling. 

“I know, but-”

“Look,” Satsuki said, still not looking at him. “I can’t do this anymore, Daiki.” 

“What?” His blood ran cold. “Satsuki, what do you mean?”

“You don’t deserve this. You deserve to be a dad. You deserve someone that can do that for you.” 

“What?” Daiki stared at her. She wasn’t saying what he thought she was saying. His entire body was trembling. Tears pooled in his eyes. 

“I’m leaving. I’m letting you go because I love you.” 

“What the hell? No!” He snapped. “I’m not letting you leave. No. Because, because what you’re saying, Satsuki, Satsuki, please don’t leave.” 

She played with her ring, still not looking at him. He just wanted her to look at him. His heart hit his stomach, and they both fell the the floor when she pulled it off. She finally looked at him, and cleared the space between them. Daiki was frozen. She pushed herself on her tiptoes and kissed him softly before putting the ring in his hand. 

“I love you, but, but it’s not meant to be.” 

“You’re wrong.” 

“I can’t give you a baby!” 

“I don’t care!” Daiki shouted. “I don’t care, Satsuki, I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. All that matters is you. Me and you, that’s it. We can get a cat. We’ve wanted a cat, remember? Because I don’t think either of us can go through this again. It’s ripping me apart inside to watch you go through all of this. I want to be a dad with my whole soul, but I _need_ you. And nothing, nothing kills me more than the thought of not having you. I don’t want a kid if it’s not with you, Satsuki. I swear. So let’s stop. Let’s just let it all go. Stop taking the pills and shots and all of that bullshit, and let’s just stop. That’s what I want, Satsuki. I don’t want you leaving. Do you want to leave? Is that really what you want?” 

“No,” Satsuki whispered. “That’s not what I want. I love you so much. I don’t.”

“Then don’t, Satsuki. Please. I love you so much. I love you. Please.” 

She nodded. “I’ll stay.” 

Daiki let out his breath, and slipped the ring back on her finger. She stared up at him, tears shining in her eyes. 

“Do you mean that? Do you mean you want us to stop?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay. Okay, we’ll stop.” 

Daiki wrapped his arms around her tightly, not ever wanting to let go. A life without Satsuki was not a life worth living. Even in the depths of his darkest depression, when he’d stand on the roof and think about what it would be like to just walk off the edge did he actually contemplate real suicide. If Satsuki ever left him, he’d do it. He knew he would. She was the glue for him, and he hoped and prayed that he was the glue for her. 

He pulled away, not letting go of her hand as he led her to the bed. They laid down, and he pulled her close. Satsuki buried her face in his chest, and cried quietly. Daiki felt numb. They’d tried six years, and the one chance they had, their baby died. Now they were giving up. They couldn’t take it. Daiki let out a soft sob, and for the first time in a long time, they sobbed together. 

“So...a kitten,” Satsuki said long after they’d stopped, and the tears had dried. 

“Yeah.”

“I want a black and white kitten.” 

“Whatever you want.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’d get you the stars in the sky if it meant I could make you happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment. <3


	7. Open Wounds

Daiki woke up to an empty bed. Satsuki wasn’t in his arms like when they’d fallen asleep. The suitcase that had been carelessly kicked off the bed was gone. The house was quiet. He rubbed his face, and sat up. Satsuki usually woke him up before she went to work, making sure that he was showered, dressed, and ready to face the world. She also shoved his medicine in his face. He’d grumble and complain, but did as he was instructed to do. He’d learned that there was no use fighting it when they were still little kids. She must have woken up late. 

He groggily stood up, and grabbed his pills from the night stand, and drank the bottle of water sitting next to it. Satsuki would be proud. He grabbed his phone to take a photo of him doing it on his own, fully prepared to rub it in her face that he was a grown ass adult and didn’t need a babysitter. 

SATURDAY NOV 18

He narrowed his eyes. Saturday? No, it couldn’t be Saturday because on Saturdays he and Satsuki really didn’t get out of bed unless he had practice or a game. 

“Oi, Satsuki, you up?” he called when he noticed the unopened envelope emoji on his phone signalling that he had a new text. 

_Good morning, Dai-chan! Don’t worry. I’m not doing anything crazy. I’m not leaving. I’ll be back, I swear. I just need some time to clear my head. I need my mom. I won’t tell, I swear. But I’m going to go back to Tokyo. I already booked my flight last night before you came home, and I didn’t cancel it. I needed to see her. I took the next week off work with the excuse that my great-grandmother died and I needed to go back to Tokyo. Don’t look at me like that! Neither are lies, and you’re no honest angel yourself! I’ll be back by Friday! I love you so much. I swear I’ll be back. Please don’t do anything stupid. Oh! I told Kagami and Tetsu so they’ll keep an eye on you. Love you! Xoxoxoxo_

Daiki stared at the text. He rubbed his eyes, and looked again, but it was still there. Everything was still there. How could she just leave? After that fight last night, she just up and left? Fuck no. And she wanted him to believe she was going to be back after that? After everything? He sat down in the middle of their room, and stared at the bed. She’d been right there…

 _What the hell, Satsuki? You thought this was a good idea? You wake me up with this bullshit? Are you serious? After last night you leave? I love you. I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re everything, okay? I’ll get it tattooed on my body how much I love you, okay? Don’t leave me. Please don’t fucking leave me. I don’t know how much more heartbreak I can take, so you better fucking come home by Friday, or no promises on what I’ll do. Xoxoxoxo_

He figured adding the x’s and o’s at the end were a good measure. Sarcastic. Passive aggressive. Perfect. He threw the phone to the side, pulling his knees to his chest, and burying his face in his arms, and just cried. He’d cried so much in his life. Sometimes he thought about going back to that angry, numb shell of a person he’d been in middle and high school, a ghost of himself. Things were so much easier when he didn’t care about a damn thing in the world. It was easier to be apathetic, and instead of crying, just be angry at everything. But Satsuki made him better. She pulled him out of it. What if she pushed him back in? 

His eyes fixed on the amber bottle on the table. He could just not take them. He was sure that’d he go back to that. A shell was easier. But he promised her. He promised Satsuki, and he honestly hated the feeling. Kagami of all people had pulled him back into himself when even Satsuki couldn’t, so it made perfect sense that they’d become best friends.

He grabbed his phone, and called him. 

“Aomine?” 

“Come over. Satsuki left. I’ll leave the door unlocked. Just come in.” 

He didn’t explain, didn’t elaborate. He just hung up as he walked to the front door, unlocking it before retreating back to the bedroom. Satsuki told him apparently, so he knew. What was there to talk about? He just wanted a friend, and he sure as hell didn’t want Tetsu, not now. He didn't need a pep talk or advice or someone to be a voice of reason. He just needed someone who he could blow off steam with. Tetsu didn’t know about the baby, so how could he possibly help in this situation. He probably thought like everyone else that they were just fighting, that he was being stubborn. Why was it always him? Could Satsuki never be the problem? She wasn’t perfect. 

His phone dinged. 

_Are you serious, Daiki? I tried to make that as light as possible, and you’re threatening me? Do you know how terrifying that is?_

Daiki rolled his eyes. 

**D:** _Are you still in America? I know you’re not in Japan yet._

 **S:** _No. I’m using the plane wifi. We have texting over wifi, Daiki. ___

__**D:** _I KNOW. And I’m not threatening you. I’m being honest. What is wrong with you?__ _

__**S:** _How could I tell you? You wouldn’t have let me leave._ _ _

__**D:** _Damn right. You shouldn't be leaving me. I am begging you to come back.__ _

__**S:** _And I will be. Friday.__ _

__**D:** _You want me to spend a week without you? How will I tie my shoes? Or feed myself? Or know how to open a child lock lid for my meds? (Sarcasm aside, I really did take my medicine this morning. I was gonna send a pic, but you fucked with my head so…)__ _

__**S:** 🙄 _Very funny. -_- So clever. I don’t think you’re helpless. (Omg really??? I’m so proud of you! My bestie is all grown up and taking meds on his own! 🙌)__ _

__**D:** _Meh meh meh meh_ 🙄 _ _

__**S:** _I’m not gonna fight with you anymore. 😘 I’ll let you know when I land in Tokyo, and I’ll call you, okay? I love you. <3 <3 <3__ _

__Daiki rolled his eyes, and tossed his phone to the side. He honestly hated fighting with her, but this time he felt so hurt and betrayed. She just left him alone with no word. He would have understood if she told him, but leaving abruptly? No. That wasn’t okay. Especially after their fight last night where she asked for a divorce, though in not so many words. What was he supposed to think? They needed to talk. They needed to grieve together. Not only about their child dying, but about all prospect of having a child gone. They weren’t trying anymore. They’d resigned, rolled over to the fact that it just wasn’t meant to be. That warranted mourning in his book. They had done this six years, practically their entire marriage, and now they were going to stop. How? Satsuki insisted they didn’t tell anyone, but the first thing she does is run back to her mom._ _

__It pissed him off. How was their marriage crumbling in front of his eyes, and she was running? They should be leaning into each other, not putting thousands of miles between them. They were supposed to get through this _together._ What if she never came back? He’d go to Tokyo. He knew where her parents’ house was. But what if in the case that he has to go find her, she doesn’t want to talk to him? What if she’s not with her parents? What if she was gone? Tokyo was so populated. How was he even supposed to know she was actually there? Or in Japan? The world was her oyster. She could go anywhere, do anything, be anyone. _ _

__What if…._ _

__What if……_ _

__What if……….._ _

__“What are you doing?”_ _

__Daiki jumped, and glanced up to find Kagami standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. His eyes were narrowed, and rather than a look of concern that Daiki would have expected to see, there was annoyance._ _

__“Stressing out over whether Satsuki is leaving me or not. We almost got a divorce last night. Did she tell you that when she told you and Tetsu to babysit me?”_ _

__“She just wor-”_ _

__“Worries about me. I know. But how worried could she be when she handed her ring back to me telling me she was gonna leave me last night? Or when she left this morning? It’s gotten bad in the past, but not like that. Never like that. This whole fucking thing is driving a wedge between us, and I’m trying to pull her closer, but she’s pushing me away. Fuck, Kagami, I don’t know what to do anymore.”_ _

__Kagami just blinked at him before tentatively walking into the room and sitting next to him._ _

__“I want to be here for you, I do, but why did you call me and not Tetsuya? I’m not very good at this.” Kagami sighed._ _

__“Because you know the details, and I can’t just blab again.”_ _

__“Satsuki told Tetsuya though,” Kagami frowned, before his eyes got huge. “Shit. I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”_ _

__“What? When did she tell Tetsu?”_ _

__“Nevermind. I don’t know anything.”_ _

__“How do you know she told Tetsu? Did you tell him?”_ _

__“No. He told me that’s why she was leaving to go to Japan for a little while.”_ _

__“So she just told him?” Daiki nodded his head. “Right. Okay.”_ _

__“Hey…”_ _

__“Hm?”_ _

__“If she’s mad at you for telling me, then it’s really hypocritical because she told Tetsu you two were trying like years ago. He told me today.”_ _

__“Are you fucking serious?” Daiki shouted._ _

__“Not anything else. Just kind of excitedly mentioned it.” Kagami shrugged. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”_ _

__“Except you did. God, I was such an idiot telling you a secret. You can’t keep anything to yourself, huh?” Daiki shook his head. “I’m dying inside.”_ _

__“You’re being dramatic. She’s gonna come back, and everything’s going to be fine.”_ _

__“Hi, yes, hello, I know we haven’t been best friends long, but I can get this way.” Daiki shrugged, rolling his eyes, and falling back on the floor._ _

__Kagami laughed, and stared at him. “You know I was having a perfectly good day with my kids and Tetsuya before you ruined it. You forget the boys are in school, and Tetsuya works all day during the week.”_ _

__“Please don’t mention kids,” Daiki begged softly. “I love them to death, but it’s the last thing I need to talk about right now.”_ _

__“Oh...okay.” Kagami rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry it’s taking you guys so long.”_ _

__“Never.”_ _

__“Huh?”_ _

__“We gave up.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“And the worst part?”_ _

__Daiki didn’t say anything, just stood up, and walked out of the room hoping Kagami would be able to get the hint. He walked down the hall, and stopped at the door of the nursery. He closed his eyes, taking several breaths before reaching up on top of the door jam to get the key. He unlocked the door, and gestured for Kagami to go in. Kagami stared at him like a deer in headlights for a moment before walking in._ _

__He stopped dead in his tracks, as he took in the room. Daiki leaned against the door jam with tears blurring his vision. He couldn’t look up, couldn’t look into the room. It hurt too much, more than it ever had because he knew they’d have to take it apart. Where would they put the stuff? Would they give it away? He didn’t know. All he knew was it was never going to have their baby in it._ _

__“When…”_ _

__“We set it up five years ago.” Daiki kicked the floor. “We were so excited to start a family, and so sure it would happen. We thought that if we made a nursery, then it would keep us going. If we ever had doubts, this would remind us, but it became more of a reminder of what we don’t have, so we kept it locked. Then she got pregnant, and I started buying stuff. She told me not to. I think I jinxed it. I think it’s my fault.”_ _

__“It’s not,” Kagami said gently. “It’s not your fault.”_ _

__Daiki laughed, and shook his head. “I know. Logically I know. But that part of me...”_ _

__He walked into the room finally, and took some stuff off the shelf. “Do you think Alex and Miles would like any of this? I know Miles might be too old but…”_ _

__“Yeah, I think he would,” Kagami said softly._ _

__“I mean we could give it to Riko, but she always says she has too much. I don’t want to give it to anyone else. Hell I don’t want to get rid of any of this, but we have to. Best to rip it off like a bandaid, right?”_ _

__“Daiki it just happened…”_ _

__“I know. God, I know. But I want it all gone before Satsuki comes home because I don’t want to upset her.”_ _

__Kagami was quiet for a moment. Daiki started to take things off the shelf, and put them in the basket that they’d planned for dirty baby clothes. Kagami took his shoulder._ _

__“I think you both need to do it. Together.”_ _

__*****_ _

__Satsuki glanced around the airport for Daiki. All she’d gotten all week when it wasn’t radio silence, was short one-worded answers. He was mad. She knew that, but a week with her mother had made her feel so much better. They talked about life, went shopping, and just sat in each other’s presence. It was like when she was a little girl. For a week, there was no mention of kids. Her mind was distracted from other things. Now she had to face Daiki, and it would all come crashing down._ _

__Suddenly someone grabbed her, pulling her into a close hug. She went to push them away before realizing it was Daiki. She melted into him, burying her face in his chest. Tears poured from her, and the sobs wracked her body as all the pain and reminders flooded back. She’d go back to that house where their baby’s room was supposed to be. Everything was still set up for trying to have a kid. Her fertility meds were in the bathroom. Everything was a reminder._ _

__But she had Daiki, and that would never change._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment. They make my heart so happy. <3


	8. Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. Christmas and work had me crazy. I hope everyone had a good Christmas if you celebrate! My gift to you this year is angst.

It was a weird feeling, stopping. Fertility drugs, specialist appointments, planned sex, notifications on their phones, cycle tracking constantly had all become part of their life for the last five years. Now the apps were deleted. The appointments were cancelled. The medications safely discarded at the pharmacy. They’d said their goodbyes to Dr. Adams at the last appointment. They even brought lunch to all the staff who’d been so helpful and kind to them through the years. It was bittersweet leaving the clinic. The secretaries, nurses, and Dr. Adams had become something like family to them. Daiki even went ahead and put down half a million dollars to cover other people’s bills. It was worth it. They’d done so much for them. 

The strangest thing was that after six years trying for a baby, and that being the center of their relationship, they had to relearn how to be together just the two of them. It was making a new life, one where it was just the two of them and kittens which they had yet to pick out. Daiki wanted to tell his parents before they got the cats that they were having twins, then later show them the cats, but Satsuki said it wasn’t funny, and was mean. She would have been such a good mom, and she would be the best to their kittens. 

“Daiki, are you ready?” Satsuki asked poking her head into the living room where he was sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee, watching television. 

“Yeah,” he muttered. He just wanted his damn cup of coffee. Was that so much to ask? She’d pestered him about it for the last hour which in her defense was plenty of time to drink a cup of coffee, but damn woman. He wanted to savor it. 

“Good!” she beamed. 

Her smile made him down the cup in three gulps, and set in on the coffee table before making a show of getting up. “I told you I’m old, Satsuki. Let me die in peace.” 

“You’ve been saying that since we were kids.” She shrugged. “You’re a professional athlete, Dai-chan. Don’t pretend it’s hard for you to get up.” 

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “So you’re sure you want a black and white kitten?” 

“Yes. I want to name it Oreo.” 

“That’s cute, but so cliche. What if the other cats make fun of them?” He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. “I think the other dogs made fun of Number 2.” 

“Hush,” Satsuki laughed. “What kind do you want?” 

He thought for a moment. Even though they’d planned on getting kittens after they’d decided to give up having kids, he didn’t really think about it. He wasn’t sure how long it was going to take for them to actually become ready to have kittens, and he sure as hell didn’t expect it to be two weeks later. That was two weeks after their baby died. Two weeks before their marriage almost ended. Two weeks since Satsuki left. 

“I don’t know yet. I think I’ll just see which one seems to suit us.” 

Satsuki seemed satisfied with the answer, and wrapped the pink scarf around her neck before grabbing her fake leather jacket, and zipping it up to her chin. She pulled on her boots, and turned to smile at him, expectantly. She was so goddamn beautiful. What did she see in him? He got these thoughts often. It was always little things like smiling over her shoulder, or rubbing her eyes while they talked at night. It just hit him that she had picked him of all people to spend the rest of her life with. It was an honor. 

He pulled his jacket on, and pulled her close for a kiss. Something that had changed in the last two weeks was that love and passion had come back. Kisses meant more. Cuddling made them feel closer than ever. Daiki caught himself wondering what sex would be like when they could finally have it again. It had become so routine, so robotic. Sure, the biological processes led to climax, but he wouldn’t really call it an orgasm for either of them. It was just making a baby. Doing the motions, and talking about their day. Would they get back what they had? The love, the passion, the closeness, pleasure filling every pore of their bodies? He hoped so.

“Dai-chan…” she said softly after he pulled away. “I can’t wait to get the kitties.” 

“Likewise. I think we should buy stuff for them first.”

“Oooh, yeah! Should they be indoor kitties, or outdoor?” 

They laced fingers as they walked out of the door towards the car. “Inside. I don’t want them getting into fights with other cats, or dogs, or getting hit by a car.” 

Satsuki gasped. “You’re right!” 

“Let’s make a list of everything we need.” 

Satsuki agreed, pulling out her phone to make a list while Daiki drove to the nearest pet supply store. It flooded them with the same feelings they got when they had decided to start shopping for the baby that they had dreamed of for years. This time it was a guarantee. They weren’t buying all of this for a mere hope. There were a plethora of kittens just waiting for a good home. Cats bred like crazy, and people weren’t fixing their animals. It was bound to happen. Today they’d be parents by nightfall. 

A litter box, toys, scratching posts, carriers, collars, top quality food, and a pet bed that would most likely not be used once later, they were on their way to the humane society. Daiki’s heart pounded with excitement. They’d wanted to get a cat for years as well. 

Daiki had had one growing up. A sweet, fluffy white cat with blue eyes named Neko. It wasn’t an original name, but he had been five when he was given the cat. It was either that or Pikachu, and his parents refused. So Neko it was. Both of them loved the cat so much. She’d always curl up with Daiki when he was sick or sad, and purr her heart out. She had them wrapped around her finger, and often brought them mice, frogs, birds, and other things she caught. She was hit by a car their third year. Both were devastated. The two of them were going away to America, so his parents didn’t get a new cat. Naturally they lived together. Daiki wanted to get a new cat, but Satsuki insisted it wasn’t a good time. Then they started dating, then engaged, married, and then the topic of having a baby came up. Cats just hadn’t been in the picture, but they wanted one. Satsuki promised after they had a baby, he could get a cat. In a way he’d been waiting over ten years for today. 

They walked into the building, shaking with excitement. They talked with the front desk, and the employee talked to them about kittens, what to expect, and tried to talk them into getting an adult cat. Ordinarily, under normal circumstances they would have agreed to get an older cat since they were harder to rehome, and were just as good. But they’d given up on having a human baby. They needed a kitten. They needed something to care for and raise. If they would let them have kittens that needed to be fed with a dropper or bottle, that’d be even better, but they didn’t adopt them out until they were weaned to soft food. 

“Look,” Daiki said, crossing his arms, “we know what we want. I get that you’re doing your job, but this is something that’s really important to us, okay? We need a kitten. Two. Now. Please.” 

“Daiki…” Satsuki shook her head at him. 

He sighed, rolling his eyes, and shoving his hands deep in his pockets. It was so difficult for him. Everything was difficult for him lately. His head just swam with memories of the moment they found out Satsuki miscarried. Satsuki curled up in bed sobbing, repeating no over and over and over. She beat herself up about it. He wasn’t even sure if she actually wanted a baby, or just wanted to give _him_ a baby, but the pure agony and heartbreak of actually seeing their baby’s body killed them. It was like a knife to the heart. Satsuki seemed to have gotten past it, but then again she wasn’t one to dwell. He just couldn’t unsee it. He just wanted to heal.

They walked into the room with the kittens, and soft mews could be heard from the rows of cages, cats begging for a new home. Satsuki ran off to find her black and white kitten. Daiki stared at the first cage. A few kittens were curled up with their mom. They were all sleeping, and the mom looked exhausted. It made his heart hurt that her babies would be taken from her. He was sure animals loved their children. That would be hard. He couldn’t adopt those. 

Another cage had an old calico cat that was mostly black, but had a white patch around her eyes, and white paws that looked like she was wearing boots. Swirls of orange accented her coat, and grey was popping up to give her age. She turned toward him and he noticed a creamy white film over her eyes. The poor thing was blind. Nobody would adopt it. His heart pulled him to her. 

“Hey, pretty girl,” he said gently, carefully putting his hand into the cage. The cat didn’t move for a minute. He clicked his tongue at her, and after a moment she carefully made her way to him. She sniffed his fingers before rubbing against him. “That’s a good girl.” 

“Daiki, did you find one?” Satsuki asked, with a smile. She peeked around him. “Oh, that’s an adult cat.” 

“She’s blind,” he mumbled. “Nobody’s going to adopt her. She’ll get put down.” 

Satsuki frowned, and looked in at her. “Someone will adopt her. We’re getting kittens remember.” 

“What if we got two kittens and her? Or her and a kitten. I don’t want her dying in here.” 

Satsuki chewed her lip, before turning around, and walking away. “I want a baby, Daiki.”

He knew what she meant. She didn’t mean kittens. That wasn’t the problem. They wanted a baby. They’d tried for years to have baby, only to fail. Kittens were important, but why did that mean they could only have kittens?

He turned his attention back to the calico that was purring, and leaning into his hand. How many people ignored her? What if he was the only person who would love her? He already did. “I’m sorry. Satsuki’s really stubborn,” he said pulling his arm back. He watched for a moment as she tried to find his hand. He felt tingling in his nose, and eyes. He took a few deep breaths before browsing the other cages. 

Kittens were everywhere, but always with their moms. Satsuki had chosen her kitten. The mom was at the door of the cage calling for her kitten. Satsuki didn’t seem to notice as she cuddled the little thing. He’d never come to a pound before. Now he wished he never had. 

“Do you want to pick on from the same litter?” she asked with a smile. “That way they’re siblings!” 

He glanced back at the cage where the mama cat was shielding her kittens. He couldn’t do it. 

“It belongs with her,” he said, nodding toward the mom. 

“What?” Satsuki narrowed her eyes at him. 

“The mom wants her baby back.” He shrugged, and walked away looking at other animals. 

Finally he found a cage where there were four small kittens. They were so small. There was another calico. This time she had an orange patch around her eyes, and only boots on the front paws. She mewed loudly, running to the front of the cage to play. He laughed softly, and let her smell his hand before petting her. She bit at him playfully, pulling her claws out. 

“Where’s the one’s mom?” he called over to the employee. 

“Oh, those were brought in a week ago. A family’s cat had a litter, and they weren’t able to find homes.” 

“Oh…” He didn’t get it, pulling babies from moms like that. “I want this one. Oi, Satsuki. There’s a black and white one in here.” 

“I already picked one!” she snapped.

He rolled his eyes. “Hey, that old calico over there, how long has she been here?” 

“Almost two years,” she answered with a sigh. She put her hands on her hips. “She’s on death row now. She’s such a sweet cat.”

“I want that one, too. The three of them, okay?” 

“Really?” the girl perked up, and ran off to get boxes. “Of course!” 

“Satsuki, we’re getting three.” 

“No, we said two kittens.” 

“Yeah, well we’re getting two kittens.” He shrugged. “We’re just getting them a mama.” 

“They already have a mom!” Satsuki snapped. “Me!” Tears shined in her eyes. “Or am I not good enough for that either?” 

She stared at him intensely, more and more tears pooling in her eyes. She held the kitten to her tightly, holding them like a baby. 

“That’s not what I meant,” Daiki said gently, pulling her into a hug. “That cat’s old and blind. They’re gonna put her down. The girl told me so. She’s really sweet, and I think it would be good to have an older cat around is all. Help them transition. Besides, I think being around kittens will do her good as well.” 

“I’m the mom though,” she insisted before breaking into sobs in his chest. 

“I know. You’ll be a mom to three instead of two. That’s better, right?” 

“I just want kittens.” 

“Think of her as our Miles, okay? Not a baby, but still perfect.” 

“Fine,” she said after a long silence. “But only because you wanted a baby more than me.” 

She pulled away, and brushed the tears from her eyes, and cuddled with Oreo for a moment. Daiki watched her. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe it was too soon. Neither were clearly okay nor had dealt with everything necessary. Still they’d picked their family. It wasn’t what they’d hoped, but it was what was needed. 

“Which one did you pick out?” Satsuki smiled.

“This little calico.” Daiki put his finger back at the front of the cage to play with the kitten.

“What do you want to name her?” 

“I don’t know. That old one is named Cleo. I’m not gonna change it. She’s old.” 

Satsuki nodded in agreement. “Cleo and Oreo. I like it.” 

“What do you want to name her?” 

“It’s your kitten.” 

“I’ll think about it.” 

“Okay,” Satsuki smiled. 

*****

Satsuki wasn’t okay. 

That’s the only thing she could think. _I’m not okay. I’m not fine. Notice!_ But Daiki didn’t say anything, didn’t ask her about it. He just acted oblivious. They were both dealing with it, and trying to tiptoe around the other, but this was ridiculous. She’d lost it at the humane society the other day. She felt like a bratty child throwing a fit in public. He didn’t say anything. He never even asked her how she was doing. Never. He used to ask her before. _What’s wrong? Are you okay? It’ll be okay, Satsuki._

Nothing. It was infuriating. Part of her really did think about leaving. She loved Daiki with every fiber of her being. She always had, and over the years that love turned into romantic, sexual, and sensual love along with the platonic. She loved him in so many way it was hard to describe. He was her best friend. The last six years had put them through the ringer. Everything was thrown at them, but they’d been together every step of the way. But it pulled them apart. Satsuki barely felt like she knew him anymore. It was just basketball and kids. When had their marriage turned into that? For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, til death do we part. She’d made that promise. This was definitely the worse and the sickness part. 

She shuffled through the papers on her desk, trying to make her presentations for the meetings, and get things done for the higher ups as well as manage those underneath her. She was so happy she’d gotten the promotion. It was something to help keep her mind preoccupied while they tried. It help her feel like she was capable. But now it was harder than ever to concentrate. 

She jumped at the phone on her desk ringing. She took a deep breath, and brushed her hair back before picking it up. 

“This is Satsuki Aomine. How can I help you?” 

“Mrs. Aomine, your husband is in the lobby.”

Satsuki massaged her temples. This wasn’t the time. She didn’t want to see him nor talk to him right now. She was busy.

“I’ll be right there.” 

She checked herself in the mirror in the office to make sure she didn’t look too stressed or unprofessional. She couldn’t let anyone see her looking anything but perky and professional. She didn’t want to be asked questions. As she made her way down the hall, her mind started rehearsing a speech. She’d tell him she was busy. She couldn’t talk. She’d chastise him for bothering her at work. He rarely did, but he knew better. 

She found him in the lobby with some flowers in hand wearing nice pants, and a button down shirt and tie. He looked so handsome. He never dressed up, said he hated it. He was usually just in sweats or jeans mostly. He smiled when he saw her, and cleared the room. He handed them to her with a huge smile. 

“Happy anniversary!” 

He brushed her hair back behind her ear, and kissed her softly. He handed her the flowers, and a box of chocolate. Anniversary? Satsuki blinked at him. How had she forgotten? Had her mind been so jumbled lately with the miscarriage, the decision to stop trying, and feelings so far from him made her forget? 

“You left before I woke up, and I wanted to surprise you. Are you busy? I made reservations at that place you like for lunch and dinner. I figured if you were busy for lunch we could do dinner.” 

She stared at him, hugging the flowers to her chest. They were beautiful. Pink roses, lavender carnations, raspberry statice, pink alstroemerias. All of her favorite flowers. They were beautiful. The chocolates were all milk and white chocolates, her favorites. And he’d booked her favorite italian place. Her stomach churned. She felt hot bile in the back of her throat. How? How was he still so in love with her? She couldn’t give him a kid. She had forgotten their anniversary, and here he was surprising her at work with all her favorite things. What was he up to?

“Satsuki?” 

“Huh?” she glanced at him. “Oh um, you know, I’m really busy. I think I might be working late too. I’m so sorry.” 

“But...but it’s our anniversary?” 

“Yeah, but I still have to work.” She brushed her hair out of her face. “Just cancel the reservations. You don’t need to be spending money on me, okay?”

She forced a smile, and played with buttons on his shirt. Everything hurt. 

“Then can I come up here and sit with you? If you have to work past hours like we’ve done before?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Are you okay?” he asked her softly. 

“I’m fine. Just...I’ll talk to you tonight, okay?” 

“You always have lunch off.” 

“I don’t today. I’m so busy from when I took off.” 

Daiki stared at her for a moment. She could see the hurt look in his eyes. His jaw clenched and set for a moment. He swallowed before speaking. “Right.” He cleared his throat. “I forgot you basically asked for a divorce. Silly me thinking you didn’t.” 

He turned, walking away. She knew she should stop him, that she should apologize. But she didn’t. She watched him leave before turning back to go to her office. She ignored the office assistant asking if everything was okay. It wasn’t her business. 

“Cancel my meetings, and hold my calls,” Satsuki called down the hall. 

She closed the door of her office, and stared at the flowers. He’d gotten it custommade. The chocolates were custom ordered. He was too sweet, too good to her. She didn’t deserve it. 

She threw them in the trash. 

*****

Daiki didn’t get it. He thought they were doing okay now. He thought she was just dealing with the miscarriage, and all the changes in their life. Now he wasn’t so sure. His heart was breaking. Was she really going to leave him? Was that thought not about the fact they were having so much trouble having a baby? Was all of that too much? Had he put too much pressure on her? Had he said the wrong things? He was trying. He loved her. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day he tried to be better. A better person, a better friend, a better husband. Satsuki made him want to do that. He wanted to do that. He wanted to give her everything she deserved. It didn’t make sense.

Something he’d learned as he got older was that keeping things inside wasn’t good. He didn’t do well with bluntness that Tetsu gave. He couldn’t go to Satsuki when it was about her. So he was so thankful that Kagami had become his best friend. He was the perfect amount now that he had kids. He always found himself right here on Kagami’s doorstep. He knocked, and waited.

“Aomine?” Kagami blinked when he opened the door to his house. 

“Sup?” Daiki asked, walking into the house, and kicking his shoes off. 

“I was just watching a movie.” 

“Great.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I think we’re getting divorced.” 

“What?” 

“Just what I said.” 

“What did you do?” 

“Would everyone just stop asking me that?!” Daiki shouted. “Maybe realize for one second that it could be Satsuki? I’m not the bad guy, okay? I’ve been trying to make her feel loved and safe, but she doesn’t. Every time I try to pull her closer, she pushes me away. I give her her space, she gets upset. I don’t know what she wants. I used to always know. Now it’s like I’m free falling. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without her, Kagami.” 

“No, I mean before you came here.”

“It’s our anniversary.” 

“I know.” 

“I surprised her. I ordered some stuff special for her, ya know? I like that romantic stuff with her. I love how she smiles, and lights up. I made reservations at that fancy italian restaurant she loves for lunch and dinner just in case. I wanted to surprise her. Well I get there, and she doesn’t even act like she cares I’m there. No smile. Nothing. And she tell me she has to work through lunch and all evening so we can’t do anything. I know it’s not true.” 

“Maybe she’s just still hurting from the miscarriage, and just doesn’t want to celebrate.” 

Daiki rolled his eyes, and glanced at Kagami. “Wanna get lunch? I got reservations.” 

“Uh, sure.” 

“Good.” 

*****

Kagami had gone home around the time Tetsu would be getting home with the kids leaving Daiki to go home. He called Satsuki several times only for his calls to get forwarded immediately. Her secretary told him that she was unavailable. It was all such bullshit. Maybe he was working, and he was overreacting. It wasn’t like he didn’t do that from time to time. 

He spent the extra time going to the store, planning on making her a special dinner. He was so sure she’d be home by eight o’clock, so he prepared everything, cooked it. Set the table with a nice table cloth he’d picked up, some candles, and the wine she liked. And he waited.

And waited.

And waited. 

Eight turned to nine, nine to ten, and ten to eleven. His heart was racing. Would she even come home? He was scared. He loved her so much. He was trying so hard. The candles were halfway burned down. The food was freezing. The wine bottle was now in water rather than ice. Resigning to the fact there was nothing he could do, he popped a plate in the microwave to eat. At the very least he could eat. That would make him feel better. Food did that. Low blood sugar didn’t do anyone good. He sat down to dinner on the couch watching some stupid made for TV movie. Halfway through the sound of a key in the lock caught his attention. 

Satsuki walked in, slowly closing the front door. 

“Welcome home,” he muttered, not looking at her. 

“Sorry, I was-”

“Working.” He rolled his eyes, and used the remote to turn the lights on before turning the TV off. “And you know it’s fucking bullshit. I get you’re busy. I get you have work, but do you have be gone until one in the fucking morning? You missed our entire anniversary, Satsuki. For what?” 

She ignored him, slipping off her shoes, and making her way to the kitchen she froze when she saw the scene. She turned to face him. “I’m so sorry…”

“I’ll make you a plate,” he muttered. 

No matter how mad at her he was, he still wanted to make sure she felt safe and loved. It was a sensitive time. He walked past her, planting a kiss to her head. She stood there silently watching him. 

“It’s still happening you know,” she said softly. 

“What?” 

“The locia from the….” She trailed off, averting her gaze. “And I’m still hormonal.” 

“It’s fine,” Daiki muttered again. 

“Wait,” she took his hand, keeping him from scooping food onto a plate. “I’m not hungry.”

“Oh…” 

“I actually had dinner with Riko.” 

“What?” 

His blood boiled. She had dinner with Riko on their anniversary when he had gone through with all these plans. The last time he checked anniversaries were about spending time with your significant other, not alone with friends. She left him in the dark...literally. For what?

“Don’t be mad. Please.” 

“Don’t be mad? Don’t me mad? Are you fucking serious, Satsuki? Don’t be mad. Fuck that. Fuck you. I don’t know what you want from me, Satsuki. I don’t. What do you want? What am I doing wrong because apparently it’s my fault.” 

“It’s not you.” 

“Then what?” He glared. 

“I can’t have a baby.” 

“So you ditch me? I am well aware, Satsuki. Riko doesn’t know that.” 

“Exactly! She doesn’t know!”

“So you go to her. Ditch me. Maybe, maybe I’ve always love you more than you love me because I would never fucking do that to you.”

“You’ve been leaving me alone this entire time!” she yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “Don’t you get it? You have been leaving me alone! You’ve left me alone with my thoughts for so fucking long, and you never ask!”

“Satsuki-” 

He went to give her a hug, but she slapped his hands and pushed him away. She took a step back. Her eyes were burning with rage.

“I’m not finished,” she spat. “I’m not okay! I haven’t been okay in years. I have put my body through the ringer for you. I don’t know how much of what I’ve done has damaged me. There’s never been so much as a thank you. It’s always you telling me that you don’t want me to do it. That we could just adopt. You come up with every fucking thing in the book, but thank you! I never wanted kids! I wanted you to have kids! And you leave me alone, and you don’t talk to me about how I feel. Just what you feel which is all this has ever been between us! I’m dying inside, and you’re just walking around like it’s nothing. It’s not nothing, Daiki. I’m tired. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay when I’m not. Do you know what that miscarriage did to me? Do you? No because you never asked. It killed me! The last thread, _the last thread_ , I had to you was gone. I don’t even know you anymore, Daiki.”

“I _tried_. You push me away.” 

“Pull harder!” she shouted. “Because maybe, maybe that’s what I need too. Would you give up on me if I was hanging from an actual cliff, and you were trying to pull me up, but I kept falling more? Would you? Would you just let me die? Remember that time in middle and high school when you were falling to rock bottom? You pushed me away, but I only pulled harder. So pull harder, Daiki!”

“Maybe just tell me!” 

“I shouldn’t have to!” 

“Then divorce me!” Daiki shouted back. “Because we all know you want to, so just fucking say it.”

*****  
Divorce. 

The word crashed around Satsuki. He thought she wanted a divorce? She'd never meant what she'd said. She didn't want to be without him. It would be easy. They wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. But it would kill them both, him possibly literally. That was always something in the back of her mind too. He had depression, so badly in the past that she was sure he'd die. But she wouldn't let him. She'd never let him.

Something were worth fighting for even if things seemed impossible. She'd fight as long as he wanted, more. She'd never give up. Their marriage wasn't like them quitting trying for a baby. Their marriage was already real. It meant more. 

They both stared at each other, breaths ragged. Tears were streaming down both of their faces. Pain and fear filled the room. 

“I think…” Satsuki took a deep breath. “I think we need marriage counselling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment. I am so happy for your support. <3


	9. Counselling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Back to quick updates! I hope y'all are doing well and your holidays are going well. 
> 
> Enjoy~

Satsuki remembered their wedding like it was yesterday. Right out of college with the world in front of them. People said they were too young, but they didn't care. They were in love. Known each other their entire life. There were butterflies in her stomach as she slipped that perfect dress that she would later donate on. Her mother, and Daiki's mother had fawned over her, telling her how beautiful she looked. And when it was finally that time, the look on Daiki's face when she walked up to him was beyond anything she'd ever imagined he could make. In that moment there was pure love between them. 

Where had that gone? Now they were sitting in an office of a complete stranger who was supposed to rekindle that. The love was still there, but the last seven years had worn on it. They fought more. She found herself pulling away because how could he still love her? She had to pull away to protect herself. That's just how it was. She expected him to pull her closer, but he didn't. That hurt. How could he not fight for her? She pulled her hand away from his at the thought. 

"Are you okay?" Daiki asked quietly. Despite the fact that she wasn't looking at him, she knew he was staring at the floor too. 

"I'm fine." 

"Nervous?" 

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Why? Why couldn't he just tell her what she wanted to hear? She wanted him to tell her this was her fault. She wanted him to be angry with her because that would make this better. She wouldn't be the only one blaming herself again. Her thoughts would be valid. That's all she wanted. Validation. She wanted him to do that, and she wanted him to tell her that even though he was mad, that it was okay, that he still cared, still loved her. 

"Look, Satsuki-" 

The door opened interrupting the awkward conversation. A woman who looked to be in her early fifties walked in with a smile, introducing herself as Dr. Martinez. She shook their hands before having a seat.

"So what brings you here today?" 

"We're having issues," Satsuki said, heart racing. She didn't want Daiki to talk, to tell her why. 

"What kind of issues?" 

"She wants to leave me," Daiki muttered, crossing his arms. 

"I don't!" Satsuki protested, tears threatening to fill her eyes. "That's why we're here, Daiki." 

He grunted in response, and looked away, sliding down his chair. She tried to ignore him, but it was hard. He was hurt. She hated it. She hated that everything was her fault. This whole thing was her fault. She couldn't have a baby. Her. Not him. Her. Now all that blame on herself had made her pull them apart, but she didn't know how to fix it. 

"We have fertility issues. We were trying for six years, and finally I got pregnant, but miscarried six weeks ago." Satsuki wiped the tears from her eyes. "And we've been fighting." 

"I see. It's a very stressful time."

"It's me that's the problem. All of this is my fault." 

"It isn't!" Daiki snapped. "Stop saying it's your fault. It's not. Things just happen, okay? Stop." 

"I can't! Don't you get it? I can't stop blaming myself!" 

"Why?" Daiki and Dr. Martinez say at the same time. 

She paused. It was simple enough in her head, but putting it into words?

"I...He...When we started having trouble getting pregnant, we did a lot of tests, and it turned out everything about him is fine, but there's something wrong with my body. I can't. So that's my fault. And we've been having more fights and problems because of the infertility, so it's my fault. And I keep thinking, I keep thinking that he'd be better off without me, with someone who could have a child for him because he'd be such an amazing dad, and he's always wanted to be a father." 

"Did you do something wrong?" Dr. Martinez asked, folding her arms over her notepad. "Did you intentionally make it so you can't have a baby?" 

"No." 

"Then how is it your fault?"

"Because it's my body."

"But did you have control of what happened?" 

"No." 

"Then how is it your fault?" 

Satsuki blinked. She didn't get it. She was the one who couldn't get pregnant no matter how hard she tried. She wanted to be a mom so badly it hurt. She thought the kittens would help, but they didn't.

"It...it..." She blinked back tears. Daiki took her hand, but she pulled away again. "It's not." 

"Good." Dr. Martinez smiled. "And Daiki, do you have anything to say?" 

"I dunno." He shrugged. 

"Do you blame her?" 

"Not really." 

"What do you mean by not really?"

"I don't know." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't blame her for the issues, but I do think it's her fault we're having marital issues because I sure as hell was trying my hardest to make her feel better. Honestly this whole thing makes me feel closer to her, makes me love her more because we're going through this thing together. All she's done is push away."

The words cut through Satsuki like a blade. She wanted to hear that, but it being out there was almost too much. He blamed her. He blamed her. He _blamed_ her. Everything fell away, and she was left feeling numb. She hadn't meant to do anything. She knew she had, but she didn't do it to hurt them or their marriage. He had to understand that...right?

"Why do you pull away, Satsuki?" 

"Because I don't want to hurt him," she whispered. "I hurt so much, I don't want to hurt him. I worry about him. I've always worried about him." 

"Maybe it's time to worry about Satsuki, and not Daiki." 

It sounded so simple. Of course it was easy to say when you were outside of it, but how could she just change things overnight?

"I've been saying that for years," Daiki muttered.

"But I can't help it." 

"Satsuki, nobody's asking you to change overnight. It's a process. What do you do for yourself?"

Satsuki thought for a moment. What did she do for herself? The last six years had been her putting herself through hell in order to have a baby. She focused on trying to console her husband. She never said no to Kagami and Tetsu when they asked if they could watch Miles and Alex. She spread herself thin helping everyone. That was who she was. She was selfless, and giving. She wanted to make everyone happy. In that moment she realized how cruel she was to herself.

"I like to make other people happy," she whispered hollowly.

****

Daiki played with the kittens absently while he thought about the session. In one session he learned more about his wife than he had in their twenty something years they'd known each other. He knew she was a people pleaser, but not to the degree that she neglected herself. It made him realize he didn't pay enough attention. He liked to spoil her, but when did he ever encourage her to do what she wanted? It was more him buying her things, or taking her to places he thought she'd like with him. Hell she spent six years trying to give him a baby. 

Oreo nibbled on his finger, her little claws coming out. He pulled his hand away gently. "Play nice." 

Play nice. His heart ached. He wanted a baby. He wanted to be a dad. Satsuki was right about that, but she was wrong that it should be with someone else. Satsuki was the only one he wanted as the mother of his children. He wanted to make Satsuki a mom. He wished to god that he could tell their kids to play nice. No matter how hard they tried to fill it with cats, it wouldn't fit. Trying to fit a cat into the shape of a human would never work. It was like trying to fit a square into a circle. And it was a hole that wouldn't be filled. Ever. As long as they lived they'd long for what they couldn't have. 

_Tis the oldest story in the book: He desires the one thing he cannot have._

The quote had never rang more true. He sighed, and picked up the blind cat he'd dubbed Asuka. She'd taken a liking to the name, answering when he called her. The pound didn't know her name, and the name they gave her wasn't suitable. She didn't like it. Asuka had turned into a daddy's girl quick though, that was for sure. She always found him and curled up with him. It was comforting. 

He heard the door open and close. He glanced up at the clock. For the first time in two weeks, Satsuki came home before eleven. He didn't bother going to find her. He was honestly tired of it. He knew what was said in the session, but was it too much to ask for her to show that she wanted to be around him? 

"Dai-chan!" she called. 

He didn't answer, just hugged Asuka closer. He heard her putting her keys on the hook. He waited for her to come looking for him. 

*****

“Dai-chan, are you-” 

Satsuki froze when she saw the door to the nursery open. She hadn’t gone in there since before the miscarriage. If he was in there, she wanted no part of that. She didn’t want to even walk past that room. Why was the door open? Why was the light on? Her heart raced. Satsuki wanted to call out, to ask him if he was in there, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t move or speak or even breathe. Tears pricked her eyes. 

“D-Daiki, are you...in...are you…” 

“Yeah,” he called, or rather muttered loudly. 

“I brought dinner home.” 

“Okay.” 

“So...so do you want to come down to eat?” 

“Come here.” 

“No.” 

“Please just come here.” 

What if it wasn’t him? It sounded like him, but she didn’t see him. What if she was imagining things? It wasn’t the first time. She’d heard crying from the room before when things were so bad that she just wanted to will a child to life. The room haunted her dreams, and after the miscarriage she had nightmares about their baby being in that room. She didn’t want to step foot in it. She wanted to move. 

“No,” she breathed.

She heard a sigh, and exaggerated noises that Daiki always made when he was trying to make her laugh or tell her he was annoyed. Which one he was doing now, she didn’t know. All she knew is she couldn’t go in there. Daiki appeared in the door with the blind cat in his arms. 

“Why were you in there?” Satsuki asked, her whole body trembling. 

“I’ve been going in since you got pregnant,” he admitted, shifting his weight. “I think it’s therapeutic.” 

“It’s not. You need to lock that door right now, Daiki.” 

“Why?” 

He leaned down, and put the cat on the floor before walking toward her. She wanted to run down the stairs, but she couldn’t. He brushed her hair out of her face gently, a small, sad smile on his face. He searched her eyes for a moment before taking her hand. 

“I think you need to face it too,” he said quietly, not meeting her eyes. 

“I don’t want to.” 

“Just come on.” 

He started to walk away toward the room, and finally she was able to control her body again. She ripped her hand away from his, and backed away. She shook her head while tears filled her eyes. 

“I’m not going in there, and you’re going to stay out of there, okay? Stay out. And if you try to make me go in there again, I swear to god we’re over. Do you hear me?” 

“Satsuki…”

“Do you hear me!” she shouted. 

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes. “You know what, Satsuki, maybe if you actually faced the problem we wouldn’t have to be sitting in a stranger’s office to talk about them.” 

“What?” 

Daiki shook head, making his way to the bedroom. He clicked his tongue, snapping his fingers. The two kittens pranced out. He flipped the light off, turned the lock, and closed the door. Satsuki watched him in awe. How could he go in that easily? Did it not kill him that there would never be a baby in that room? He glanced at her. 

“What?” 

“Just...how can you go in there?”

He sighed, and rubbed the back of his head. “I just went in when you got pregnant to clean it up a bit, and put things in there. Then you miscarried, and I just sat in there a lot thinking. And then you tried to leave, and I just sat in here. Face the problem, ya know? It’s empty. Gonna stay empty. Might as well get used to it,” he said with a shrug. 

Satsuki nodded, trying to swallow the lump in her throat that wouldn’t stop getting bigger. He pulled her into a hug, and kissed the top of her head. She nuzzled into him, breathing in the scent of his cologne. It made her feel safe and warm. It was home. Daiki was home. She had to remember that. No matter how hard things were, he was home. 

“I got teriyaki burgers from that one Japanese restaurant downtown. Peace offering.” She smiled up at him. 

He scoffed. “As if they could call that place Japanese. You know I’m still mad you didn’t take me to Tokyo with you.” 

“I told you-” 

He cut her off with a kiss. “You didn’t need a peace offering, Satsuki.” 

“But-”

“I love you, okay? You’re enough. We fight. We make up. It’s part of any relationship.” He shrugged. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.” 

*****

Tetsu had always been there for Satsuki. It was one of the reasons she’d had such a big crush on him for all those years. She could talk to him about everything. When she and Daiki would have a big fight, she’d run to him. He’d always give calm, gentle advice that always seemed to do the trick. Tetsu was smart. He was someone you wanted on your side because he was fiercely loyal. Satsuki didn’t understand why Daiki preferred going to stumbling Kagami instead. Maybe he just didn’t want to hear the truth. Maybe it was because Tetsu wasn’t as gentle with him. Tetsu knew Satsuki was sensitive.

So why was it so hard to talk to him about what was going on? 

She played with her veggies, completely zoned out. They had had another session of couples therapy, and it had taken everything out of her. Apparently they were going to have homework every week, and they were going to have to come back and tell Dr. Martinez how the new things went. It was awkward. 

This week was to make each other breakfast or dinner. She clearly didn’t know Satsuki’s luck with food, and poisoning your husband was not looked at fondly. So she’d opted for coffee, a bowl of cereal, and piece of fruit. Daiki had even looked at her hesitantly as he sat down to face what could be disaster. She’d thrown the cereal box at him, and they’d had a good laugh. So maybe it was working. But Daiki always cooked for her. Who else would? Even cooking classes had been futile. Cooking was an art. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Satsuki glanced up at Tetsu, and set her fork down. “How much has Kagami told you about what Daiki’s told him?”

“Aomine-kun and Taiga’s conversations don’t come up.” 

Satsuki nodded. “Well...did you know we had infertility issues?” 

“No, but you mentioned that you were trying for a baby, and that was years ago so it was either that or you changed your mind.” 

“Well it’s been six years. Nothing. I had a miscarriage, and well...we almost got divorced.” She covered her face, groaning at the sound. “By that I mean I don’t think I’m good enough for him because I can’t have a baby. He’s fine. So I gave him the option.” 

Tetsu stared at her with a blank face, no judgement. She found herself being thankful for that. 

“He said no, obviously.”

“Is that why he called Taiga away from our family weekend?” 

Satsuki nodded. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Friends are important.” 

“We’re going to marriage counselling because our marriage became so set on having a baby. We gave up. Daiki brought it up. And it was his idea to try to have kids. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like this is going to help. I feel like he’s going to wake up one day and realize that he does want kids more than he wants me. He would tell me while we were doing fertility treatments and I was sick, that we should just stop because he hated seeing me suffer. He said we should just adopt or have surrogate or something, but he doesn’t get that I have to be the one to give him a child. Or he’ll say stuff like we don’t need kids to be happy. I don’t know what he wants. What do I do? Maybe I need a guy’s perspective.” 

“I think Aomine-kun has made it clear what he wants.” 

“Huh?” Satsuki blinked. That didn’t make sense. How? 

“If he was the one to bring up trying to have kids, then that was something he really wanted. But he said you should stop, then I think that made it clear. He loves you, and just wants to be with you. But I do have a question, what’s wrong with the other options?”

“I don’t want that. I want to be the one who gives him a baby. Not someone else.”

“Honestly, Satsuki, when you become a parent in whatever way it is, the child is still your kid. You forget that they weren’t part of you. The two of you can do that.” 

“No offense, but that’s easy for a man to say. You don’t know what it’s like to be pregnant. Even though I was only pregnant for eight weeks, I felt so connected. It’s different as a woman. Moms are so in tune.” 

“The question you need to think about is what you want for your family, and to talk to Aomine-kun about that.”

Satsuki sighed. “He already knows I want a baby. I want to be pregnant and give birth, Tetsu.” 

“If it’s not possible, then other options need to be considered. You two are strong together. Don’t let that go because of circumstance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment and let me know what y'all think!


	10. Intimacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets a little smutty at the end. Fair warning. :)
> 
> Enjoy;

“The thing with Satsuki is she puts too much on herself, and then she pushes everyone away. It’s the same thing she accused me of, and she was right. But here she is doing the same damn thing. I can’t fix it. I want to fix it, but I can’t. And she’ll get pissed at me if I try to come up with a solution. We have the means to go through adoption or surrogacy, but no.” 

It was infuriating. Nobody knew how for six fucking years they’d talked and talked and talked. That’s all they did. They talked about what they wanted. They talked about their options. They talked all the time. Their therapist told them that having a child wouldn’t fix the problem, but when not having a child caused their problems then how would it not? Why not adopt? Why not have a surrogate? There was a problem with no solution because she couldn’t have a baby, and everyone outside of that didn’t understand. Nobody got that in her mind’s eye she’d never be a mother unless she had the scars to prove it. 

And Daiki just ate it up like he believed every minute of their sessions. He sat there and actually talked about their problems. He didn’t brush it off. True, he’d never been one to be so shut off he didn’t talk about the problem, but usually that was only to her and maybe Tetsu. He was selective. Yet here he was airing out their dirty laundry to a complete stranger. Satsuki wanted to storm out of the room. She didn’t care this was her idea. She would not sit here and be accused of everything wrong. 

“I think the problem is the two of you have a tendency to push away from these kind of situations. Satsuki, what do you think would be a step in helping yourself through this hardship?”

“I don’t know,” she muttered, crossing her arms. “The only solution I see is to have a baby.” 

“But we agreed to stop,” Daiki sighed, rubbing his face. “It was too much.” 

“What if I want to keep going?” Satsuki looked from one to the other. 

“Why did the two of you decide to stop?” 

“She miscarried, and then she was gonna walk out. I begged her to stay, and that was the solution at the time,” Daiki glanced at her. 

“Why were you going to leave, Satsuki.” 

“He deserves to be a dad. He wants to be a dad so much.” 

“Goddammit, I told you a million times I don’t want to be if it’s not with you, and I don’t want to keep breaking our fucking hearts anymore,” Daiki snapped. “That is the problem. That’s the fucking problem, Satsuki. We focused so hard on something we should have given up on sooner because it wore us down and pushed us apart for years. This whole infertility problem was like water running against a rock for years. What happens to the rock? It erodes. That’s us, okay? And I don’t want to go through more.” 

Daiki and his stupid metaphors. She wanted it to stop. 

“Satsuki, what you want isn’t attainable. You’ve both said that.” 

“I got pregnant once before,” Satsuki said.

“But it didn’t work out. Six years, and it didn’t work out.” Daiki’s voice was soft, almost desperate, and his eyes were pleading. “It’s time to move on. That’s how we get past all of this, and just be us again.” 

“I don’t know how,” Satsuki whispered. He reached out for her hand which she took.

“With me.” 

*****

Satsuki sat in Dr. Adam’s office for the last time. She just needed to be checked post miscarriage. The bleeding and lochia had stopped. She started feeling more like her old self. Emotions weren’t all over the place, and she was more level now. Her heart raced. Her periods would be back soon. She knew every time she was late, she was going to break into the pregnancy tests she had stashed away. She’d always keep them. While they were healing from it, and the sessions were continuing to go well, she’d never let it completely die. She was still desperate. She couldn’t accept the fact that Daiki would never be a father. She couldn’t. Every time she saw him with Alex, Miles, or Riko’s kids, her heart would always hurt. 

But he said he was happy with it. 

The door opened, and Dr. Adams came in with a smile on her face. They exchanged pleasantries, and Satsuki talked to her about how she was doing. It was weird that it was the first time she hadn’t been here with Daiki. She’d purposely made this appointment the day of a big game because he’d be in practice, and having PR stuff all day. He wasn’t particularly pleased with the idea, but he’d agreed easily enough. 

This appointment was important. This appointment would tell her if she could have sex again or not. She desperately hoped she’d get the clear. Not only was she missing it, but she was sure that bringing physical intimacy back would help. Sure there were plenty of sexual things they could do, but intercourse had always been different for them. She felt so close to him, and she felt so much love. It felt the best. They could go longer. She ached for that closeness. Even though it sucked during her ovulation period because it was so mechanical for them, in between was amazing. She hadn’t been a virgin their first time, but she remembered that it just felt so different. It was the first time she’d been in love, the first time it wasn’t just a hookup. She wanted that so badly. She needed to feel close to him again. 

“Everything looks good!” Dr. Adams smiled. “You two are back to normal. I do want to warn you, for some women, the vaginal muscles get a little tense when you haven’t had sex in a while, so it’s extremely important to have a lot of foreplay and lubricant for a while before your body gets used to it again.” 

Satsuki nodded, excited to tell Daiki. She’d wait until after the game. She left the office, hoping to god that they won because the sex would no doubt be better. She couldn’t wait. She practically skipped to her car. She stopped at the store to buy some more lube just in case, before getting changed into a cute outfit. She decided on black leggings, a long sleeved pink shirt that hugged her in the right places with her black northface jacket. She pulled her hair back into a french braided bun, adding a ear warmer headband, and slid into her boots as she headed out the door. 

Daiki loved her in casual clothes just as much as when she was dressed up pretty. Most of the time when she went to his games, or places he was doing PR for, she’d be sure to dress perfectly. She didn’t want articles about her in the tabloids. People at work referred to Daiki as a celebrity being one of the NBA MVPs, but she didn’t see it that way. They weren’t followed anywhere, and there was rarely anything outside of sports magazines, thought a few gossip magazines would do articles from time to time. Today she really didn’t care. Let them talk. Let them say she looked fat in her leggings. Let them say that she looked frumpy or let herself go. It didn’t matter. She knew she wasn’t. She was going to support her husband, and then hopefully make sweet love to him after. That’s all she wanted. 

She hummed to herself as she walked past security, holding up her pass. She needed to find Daiki for luck. It’d been a thing since he started playing in the NBA. She’d give him a pep talk, and a kiss for luck before finding her seat. 

“Satsuki! Just the girl I was hoping to see.” Riko called, waving her down in the hall. “Looking for your hubby?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Satsuki answered looking around her. 

“Perfect. I needed to ask you something.” 

“Okay?” 

“Junpei and I got invited to go to this afterparty, and I need someone to watch the kids tonight.” 

“Sorry, we can’t.” 

“What are you doing? You don’t have kids.” Riko frowned crossing her arms. “Please, Satsuki? I’m begging you. You and Daiki love the kids. It’s just for tonight. Please? I’ll do whatever you want.” 

The words cut through Satsuki. She hated that. She hated their not having kids being used as something against them. They didn’t have kids, so they must always be able to drop everything to watch their friends’ kids. Then saying no resulted in questions and pleading. 

“Yeah...we don’t have kids, and we’re never going to have kids. Ever. We would love to watch your kids when we don’t have plans, but we have plans tonight. I’m sorry.” 

Satsuki expected the words to come out painfully, and while they hurt to say it was crippling like it was before. Maybe therapy was working more than she thought. Every time she said it or thought it, it became more real. She accepted it more. She hadn’t even realized it until just then. 

“Wait...you’re not going to have kids?” Riko blinked. “But the way you two look at kids….and you always want to hold the kids. Are you having…” Riko leaned close “...issues?” 

“What?” Satsuki recoiled.

She tried to take deep breaths that Riko wouldn’t see, but she wasn’t sure how good of an actress she was. Riko was a natural at looking at a person and knowing everything. It was no wonder she’d led her team to victory as a coach, and while coming to visit Kagami and their friend, Kiyoshi, that she was offered a job as a trainer with the Lakers too with a lot of help from Kagami’s teacher, Alex, who was sure that they had named their son after her despite Tetsu and Kagami saying no. 

“No, we’re not having issues. Just decided not to is all.” 

“Really? Because the way Daiki stormed out-”

“I’m sorry, I need to go.” Satsuki said, hurrying past her friend, thankful as ever that Daiki had just walked out of the locker rooms. 

Daiki glanced up from his phone, and spotted her right away. He grinned at her, and pulled her into a tight hug. She buried her face in his chest for a moment before looking up at him. 

“So you’re not mad at me anymore, I guess,” he said with a laugh. 

“When was I mad at you?” 

“You’re always mad at me after therapy.” 

“Because you’re mean.”

“I tell the truth.”

“Mean truth.” She rolled her eyes. “But no, I’m not mad at you. The appointment with Dr. Adams went very well.” 

“Oh, is that right?” He smirked, gently leading her to the wall. 

“Yeah.” She played with the zipper of his team jacket, and looked at him through her eyelashes. “So you better win tonight because it’s more fun to have sex when you’re in a good mood.” 

“What? So you don’t like angry sex anymore?” 

“Only when we’re fighting,” she winked. 

“That’s make up.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Not if we keep fighting. Anyway you better win.” 

“Aomine!” Riko called. 

“Shit,” Daiki muttered. “She’s probably gonna make me do something painful because I sicked her on you so you’d turn her down.” 

“You what?” Satsuki narrowed her eyes. 

“I’ll see you after the game,” he said with a quick kiss before ducking into the locker room. 

“Ugh!” Riko rolled her eyes. “He said you’d say yes.”

“Riko,” Satsuki said putting her hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t marry him because he was smart.” 

*****

Satsuki had never been more ready for Daiki to finish with postgame interviews. When she saw him coming out, she ran to him, congratulated him with a hug and kiss, and they were off. Her heart was racing the whole way home. She was desperate for closeness. She wanted to be just surrounded by him. That would help. That would get them out of this funk she knew it. 

“Hey, I’m starving. Do you wanna get some food first? Fuel up.” 

“Daiki…” Satsuki whined, throwing her head back on the seat. “I have been waiting so long.” 

“I was just running around for an hour. We went into overtime.” 

Satsuki rolled her eyes before caving. “Fine. I could eat. But we’re picking up something on the way to the house. No sit-down restaurants.”

“Okay,” Daiki agreed. 

Then finally, finally, _finally_ they were ready. 

Satsuki remembered what it was like hooking up with different guys in college. It was always messy and fast. It had never been that way with Daiki. It was so sensual and loving. It made Satsuki wonder why she’d ever like the fast pace of hookups. But maybe it was just because it was Daiki. He was always gentle with her, and she loved it. He always paid so much attention to making sure it was nice for her, for them both. Maybe that’s why she always felt so close to them when they had sex. It was an intimate thing no matter what, of course. But it was so different when you were truly in love. At least for her. 

She kept her eyes closed, absorbing every sensation, soaking him in as they kissed, as his hand ran over her body before finding its way to her clit. She inhaled sharply at the sensation, opening her eyes to see his. He smiled at her before continuing kissing to her, paying attention to her. He wasn’t selfish or impatient. It was something she loved about him. She closed her eyes again, and smiled into their soft kisses until she was right on edge. 

“You good?” he asked softly. She nodded, biting her lip. His weight shifted, and she felt him line up with her before pressing in. 

Walls fell down. With every second she felt herself getting closer to him. She wanted more. The problem with being human was that no matter how in love you were, no matter how much closer you wanted to be, you’d never be close enough. Maybe it was the curse of life. Satsuki found her mind empty of anything negative. All she could think was how much she loved him, how much wanted him, how grateful she was that he was her best friend, her husband. 

She stared into his eyes, and wondered what it would be like to just get lost in them. How had she ever thought about leaving? What would she do without him? What would he do without her? Maybe it was the miscarriage that pushed them apart in conjunction with not being able to be physically intimate when it had always been such a big part of the relationship that caused things to be rough. Whatever the case, she couldn’t wait for their next session. Things would be looking up. She knew it. This was the closeness they needed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read! I'd love it so much for you to leave a comment. My heart gets so happy. <3


	11. Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope y'all are doing well. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

A month and a half had passed. Daiki couldn’t believe it. They’d been going to therapy only twice a month now rather than every week. Something about getting the okay to have sex changed their relationship. They just needed that closeness. Satsuki seemed to instantly feel closer to him, and got so clingy, it was Daiki’s turn to protest, though only half heartedly. He actually loved that she wanted to be with him so much. At least he knew she still loved him. 

“You ready?” Satsuki asked, tugging at her sleeves. 

“Yeah.” 

Daiki nodded, and they both headed to the room that was once their intended nursery. Today was it. Today was the day they took it down. It didn’t make sense to keep a room set up and decorated for a child that would never come. It was essentially a room that neither of them went into, kept locked away. Satsuki had finally gotten to the point where she had been able to go into the room without running out. Daiki had helped coax her. And now with nudging from their therapist, they were going to clean it out. 

They didn’t speak, or look at each other as they started packing things away. He refused to look at anything for more than the minimum time it took to decide what box to put it into. They took comfort in knowing that some of the stuff was going to Alex. He was still little enough for stuffed animals. Daiki was happy with that. It would have killed him if he’d had to throw out the teddy bear he’d bought. Riko and Junpei were going to take some of the stuff as well for their kids. The rest was being donated. None of it was going to waste, nothing was being thrown out. There was comfort in that. 

He had been ready for this. This was important. This was closure. 

*****

It was the most painful thing Satsuki had ever done. This was the final step to getting past their decision to stay childless forever. The cats were watching them intently, every so often they’d venture forward. Asuka was staying close to Daiki like she usually did. She couldn’t help but think about them being their children. Three children. An older child, and twins. That would be her dream. That’s what they’d talked about. Three. Then one became all they wanted. If they could just have one…

And they did. The results for genetics had come back showing no genetic incompatibilities. There was no reason for Satsuki to have miscarried, but she had. They had confirmation it had been a boy. They lost a son. It killed Satsuki. Daiki would have loved a son. They talked about about it with Dr. Martinez about the results. They were so broken up about it, but Dr. Martinez told them that naming their son might help them with closure. They could remember him on his birthday, _death day_. Satsuki couldn’t help but think that. They decided to name him Hoshi. Every time they looked up at night, he’d be right there. 

She hugged the bear Daiki had gotten for him, and just watched her husband pack up. His jaw was set, and his movements were purely mechanical. It was obvious he was having trouble with this as well. Something about that made her feel better. They were going through this together, and that was enough. 

Satsuki remembered the day they started trying. They had music on, and things were getting heavy. Daiki just stopped, stared at her and said, “Let’s have a baby, Satsuki.” She’d been so taken aback. She’d never thought about kids. It wasn’t that she didn’t want them, but she didn’t want them if that made any sense. It wasn’t something she dreamed about. Daiki and people she knew growing up talked about their future kids, but when Satsuki saw her future, she saw herself breaking glass ceilings. She saw herself as a CEO of a company. But in that moment when Daiki asked her to have a baby, suddenly she saw kids. Their kids. She heard the pitter-patter of little feet running around the house. Little humans curling up in her lap calling her mommy. She imagined what they’d look like. “What do you say?” She hadn’t even realized then that she’d taken so long to answer. When she said okay, the smile on his face was so big, and spread through his whole body. She’d run out of birth control, so they’d been using two other forms of birth control. That night, their first time ever using nothing, first time skin met skin, her body ached for a baby. 

They’d set up the nursery prematurely. She knew that, but they were both just so excited. They didn’t expect it to take long. They waited probably a month or two before buying this house, the one they’d raise their kids in. Four-bedroom house for their dream of having three kids. They’d gone shopping, bought things for guest rooms, and the nursery. Everything had been perfect. They were just taking it slowly. Then they turned to actively trying, and two years into the journey saw a doctor who referred them to Dr. Adams. Six years later they were clearing out the nursery to make an office. 

It was heartbreaking. Pretty soon the nursery was empty. The rental moving van was filled up with everything, and the car had what they were giving away to their friends. It hurt. The pain was palpable. 

But there was healing. This was how they had to heal. 

*****

Daiki loved playing games. The energy of the crowd as they walked out onto the gym floor was palpable. He loved to show off during warmups. It was fun to twist and spin in the air. All the things he found so fun about streetball, he could exemplify. Best part was almost everyone in the NBA grew up with streetball, so the predictability was low. It kept him on his toes. The opponents were strong. He played the whole game with a smile, and at some times laughing. The court was the one place he felt truly at peace. Nothing could take that from him. 

He thought about the day when he’d have to retire. What would that be like? He never wanted this to end. He never wanted a moment when he’d never look forward to stepping under the hot lights as the AC blew cold air down hard, but he knew the day would come. It might come in the form of an injury, not being signed to a team, choice, or physical age. As much as he joked about being old, he was honestly terrified of actually being old because it would take away almost everything that mattered to him. He and Satsuki weren’t going to have kids or grandchildren or anything like that. It would be them and their cats until one of them died, and then they’d be lonely. Hell they were only children on top of that. What was the future going to be like? It’d be so different if they were childless by choice with goals of what they wanted to do with retirement. But not like this. 

The buzzer shrieked through the air signalling the start of the game. He was ready to play, but his head wasn’t in it today. It wasn’t like he needed to really have a proper head space to play. Tearing down the nursery had seriously messed with his head. They needed to do it. It was necessary, but it hurt. It was the end of it all. Six years didn’t matter anymore. Watching Satsuki go through everything she went through killed him. They kept thinking if this is what it takes, it’s worth it. Now it wasn’t worth it. That hurt the most. 

The game went by in a blur. He’d wanted to share these moments with his kids, but all they got was Hoshi who he loved with all his heart which made the miscarriage all the more heartbreaking. Only when the last buzzer sounded signalling the win, did he get pulled from his thoughts.

*****

Championships. 

Satsuki hated them. She couldn’t go with him Daiki while his team travelled the country playing to see who’d be on top. It was PR nonstop. Interviews with a million networks, appearing on television, meet and greets, practice, and games. There was no telling if she’d get to talk to him. The first week was okay usually, but after that she missed him so much. Nobody really thinks about what their favorite athletes, musicians, actors, etcetera are really dealing with being away from family. Was it really any surprise that it was so dysfunctional? People in the public eye were constantly getting into relationships, getting out, cheating, divorcing, and had drama tabloids running after them. But nobody realizes that being in the public eye, or having a relationship with someone who is can be so incredibly difficult. They were sharing their loved one with the world, and some people just can’t handle that. 

She sat on the bed watching Daiki get packed for the long few weeks ahead, resting her chin on her hand. With everything that was going on, the timing of him leaving was just all wrong. The healing wounds were still fresh, barely scabbed over. There wasn’t even a scar yet. But they were being torn apart of their careers. She wanted him to stay forever. Sometimes she wanted to quit her job to follow him around the country. Other times she wanted to ask him to retire. They didn’t both have to work. Hell if neither one of them worked, they’d probably still be okay. Daiki was getting tens of millions a year. She was making half a million a year. They were doing well. Their parents, family, and friends were already taken care of. They donated money, but Daiki wanted to save most of it for their life. He was realistic. He could sustain any injury that could keep him down for the rest of his life. He’d seen it happen. They both had. One person on their college team had broken his leg so badly during a game, he was permanently handicapped. 

And even if he didn’t get hurt playing, either one of them could get hurt in so many different ways. He wanted to be prepared. It was amazing how mature he had gotten over the years. Sometimes she thought back to when they were kids. She couldn’t believe how much they’d grown. They were the same, but so, so, so different. Somewhere along the way they grew up. They didn’t feel like adults most of the time, but they were here. Satsuki loved that she got to do this journey with Daiki. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” Satsuki murmured with a sigh. 

Daiki turned around, and stared at her for a moment. He dropped the shirt he was holding, and walked over to her. He leaned over to kiss the top of her head. She closed her eyes, and took fistfuls of his shirt. She was going to keep him hostage as long as she could before she let him sail away. He stood up, and played with her hair.

“I’ll miss you too.” 

“I think it’s going to be lonely with you gone.” 

“You’re gonna get some peace.” He smirked at her. “I won’t be in your hair.” 

“What if I want you there?” Satsuki returned the smirk. “What then?” 

He shrugged. “Too bad.” 

“I don’t want you to leave. Not right now. We’ve just started filling the cracks and holes. And what about therapy?”

“We’ll go when I get back.” He sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. “I have to work, okay? And when I get back, we’ll go back to everything. It’s an easy fix.” 

Satsuki took in a deep breath, and nodded. It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t he have a normal job? It was funny that she was even thinking this considering she’d seriously played with the idea of divorce. What was she thinking? How could she have even dealt with that? She’d left for a week, and didn’t think about him much at all in Tokyo. Now here he was getting ready to do something for work, and she didn’t want him to leave. Irony. 

“How about we do something for you to remember me by?” he said kissing her neck. 

Satsuki bit her lip. She wanted to give in, but part of her knew she’d already showered, and she’d just get sticky and gross with sweat. He ran his hand up her thigh, and she quickly folded. She could just take another shower. Or better yet, follow up round two in the shower. She wanted to remember every millimeter of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The continued support is everything to me. <3 If you would leave a comment, I would be so, so happy. Thank you!


	12. Surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I'm chugging these chapters out and I'm so proud of myself! I hope y'all are liking it so far. Your support is driving these quick updates.

Satsuki paced the bedroom. She was late. Two weeks late. She was tired. She’d thrown up several times the few days, and her breasts were sore. The only explanation was that she was pregnant. But how was that possible? They’d spent six years trying with fertility treatments and all kinds of things. So how could it be that she was pregnant from just having sex normally? It would be a stupid question if the average person asked, but she wasn’t average. What if she was pregnant? What would she do? Daiki was out of the state for the next few weeks for championships, and it’s not like she could have gone with him with work. How would she tell him? Over the phone didn’t sound like a good idea. It needed to be good, to be grand. 

_Hold on, Satsuki. You don’t even know if you’re really pregnant or not. You could just be sick which is why you’re late and nauseous. Your boobs hurt because it’s your period. Calm down._

Her phone timer went off, and slowly she looked at the tests. Her heart leapt. All of the tests were positive. All of them. All three were positive. She bit her lip to keep from squealing with joy. She couldn’t get too excited or happy. She never knew what was going to happen. She could miscarry again. She didn’t know the future. But she was pregnant, and pregnant enough to have symptoms which she knew meant she was probably about halfway or so through the first trimester. Daiki would be gone for a while. Depending on how far along she was, she might be past it by the time he comes home. 

Her heart was racing. Her whole body was trembling with excitement. She didn’t want this to be a secret. It couldn’t be a secret. But how could she tell him over the phone? She chewed on her thumb for a moment before pulling out her phone for a confirmation with Dr. Adams. Her mind was reeling. How would she tell Daiki? That was going to be the next step if she was pregnant. She was going to plan it make where their family and friends would come from Japan. It’d be a big announcement. They missed them all so much, and something this big had to be shared with them. Once she got into the clear, she would arrange a date, tell them it’s for something with Daiki and basketball. It was going to be perfect. But Daiki needed to know first. They could plan together. 

No. Daiki wouldn’t want it to be a big thing. She needed to make it a big thing though because the fact of the matter was that they had been waiting for six years for this moment. Everyone was having cute pregnancy announcements online. Gender reveals were everywhere. She wanted that. She wanted to be excited, and have people excited for her. All she wanted was to experience that, to be an expecting mom. Nobody knew about Hoshi. She didn’t want to tell anyone. Their best friends knew and that was all that mattered. She wasn’t going to get looked at with pity. She wasn’t. 

She took a few deep shuddering breaths, and laid back on the bed. The appointment for the ultrasound would be next week. She wanted it to be tomorrow. She didn’t want to wait a whole week to find out if it was real or not. Maybe she could just go to an urgent care or a hospital? She pondered it over when her phone rang. 

Daiki. 

Her heart skipped a beat, several beats, before she picked up the phone trying her hardest to sound normal. 

“Hey!” 

“Hi! How’re you doing?” he asked, excitement in his voice. 

“Good. What’s got you so happy?”

“I just feel really happy all of a sudden. I don’t know why.”

Satsuki giggled softly. “Did you miss me? Is it hearing my voice?” 

“I don’t know about that,” Daiki scoffed. “But seriously I do miss you. The guys are seriously boring. And Kagami is annoying me right now. Keeps bringing up Hoshi. He wants me to talk about it. Like, shut the fuck up.” 

The name shot through her heart. She chewed her lip, and her hand subconsciously moved to her pelvis where their baby may or may not be. Tears filled her eyes. She missed him. She missed their little boy so much. 

“Satsuki?” 

“I’m here,” she managed to say, clearing her throat. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, no, don’t be. We’re supposed to say his name and talk about him. It’s good.” 

“Yeah, but I still don’t want to make you sad.” 

“It is sad, Daiki. It’s always going to be sad that he’s not with us. But it’s okay. And it’s okay and perfectly normal to feel sad. Remember?” 

Daiki sighed. “Yeah. You know maybe you should quit your job and become a psychologist.”

“Maybe,” Satsuki laughed. “How’s the championship going so far?” 

“Seriously?”

“Seriously?” she repeated confused. 

“You’re not watching it on tv?” 

“I’m a bit busy, Dai-chan.” 

“Sure,” Daiki said, exaggerating the word. “But I’m not gonna tell you. You’re just gonna have to find out of yourself. Goddamn, Satsuki, I thought you were number one wife.” 

“I am,” Satsuki smirked. “I love you, I’m gonna go though okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay. I love you.”

“Talk to Kagami. It might be good for you.” 

“Thanks mom,” Daiki muttered. “Bye.” 

“Bye.” 

Satsuki hung up and held the phone close to her chest. She wanted him to come home already. She wanted to see his face when they found out together about their baby. She wanted him to hear the heartbeat. But he couldn’t be there, and there was no way in hell she was waiting. 

*****

The office was warm. That was the first thing Satsuki noticed. It was usually cold. Satsuki was happy with the adjustment. She looked at it as an omen of good luck. It had to be. This had to work. She needed it to work. Her heart raced as she waited for Dr. Adams. It was funny how she thought she'd never see the obstetrician again. To think she was in this office again. The last time she was here, they'd received the news that their son had died. Their hopes, dreams, and hearts had been broken. This time she hoped and prayed that she would get to hear that strong little heart she desperately wanted to hear.

A soft knock on the door made Satsuki jump. This was it. Soon she’d get the verdict. She hoped and prayed that it was going to go well. Hoping and praying was all she seemed to do these days. 

Dr. Adams walked in, a grin on her face. “Why, hello! I was not expecting this good news!” 

“It’s not good news yet!” Satsuki held up her finger. “I’m not gonna let myself be hurt again.” 

“Of course.” 

She smiled, and walked over to the exam table Satsuki was sitting on. They talked about symptoms and last period and all of that usual stuff. Satsuki was given a physical, and then time for the good part. Seeing her baby. Making sure her baby was okay. She’d already had it in her mind that if she lost this one too, that she’d find out the sex, they’d name them, and then she’d just go get her tubes tied. Sure it was more invasive, but she couldn’t ask Daiki to do it, or ever would. There was life past her if he ever wanted it. She also decided she’d let him go. She’d thought it over. This was the last shot. 

"You ready?" Dr. Adams asked. 

Satsuki nodded, pulling her shirt up, taking a few deep breaths. The gel was still cold on her pelvis. She closed her eyes and focused on the sounds of the room. The familiar uncomfortable pressure and then the air filled with whooshing. 

“Ah, right there,” Dr. Adams said. 

Satsuki opened her eyes. Dr. Adams smiled at her and pointed to the screen. 

“Twins.” 

“What?” Satsuki’s heart leapt. “Did you say…?”

“Twins! See? These are the two sacs. They’re implanted well, and their heartbeats are so strong.” 

Twins. Twins! After all these years of trying, begging, they were getting two. Satsuki was overcome with emotion. She wanted Daiki to be here. She regretted not telling him now. This would have been the best moment. She wanted to see his face, wanted to kiss him for luck. 

“Are,” she cleared her throat, “are they healthy?” 

“From what I can see, yes. You’re about nine weeks along. You’re almost to the mark.” Dr. Adams went to move the wand. 

“No!” Satsuki snapped. “I mean, I just want to hear if for a little longer please.” 

“I can get you a recording.” 

“Oh please.” 

“Do you want photos?” 

“Yes!” 

Satsuki’s mind was whirling. How could this be possible? They’d gone through everything for years. Years. And now they were getting twins. Finally. It was like all of their prayers had been answered. She wasn’t sure who was responsible, but whoever it was, she owed it her life. She’d be the best mother. She’d prove that she was worthy of this miracle. She would. 

Dr. Adams went over the basics with Satsuki. There was a list of food and medications to avoid. Satsuki swore never to take any medicine no matter what. She was not about to risk it. She’d just deal with it until the babies were born. Her next appointment would be an anatomy scan at eighteen weeks. It seemed so far away, but so close. She couldn’t wait. She would have Daiki there with her. It would be the best. 

Now to figure out how to tell him. 

The drive home was her head filled with different scenarios. Just telling him she was pregnant didn’t seem to be enough. She wanted to surprise him. Let him know when he was least expected it. But how? Honestly he’d least expect it no matter what. Six years had told them no. There was no more planned sex, no more obsession over ovulation periods, no more fertility treatments. It was just them. That was it. Just the two of them being themselves, spontaneous and in love, healing one step at a time with each other. 

She pulled into their garage, and walked into the house, her mind still reeling. She wanted to talk to someone, anyone. She wanted advice. But could she really tell anyone before Daiki? Wouldn’t that take away something from him? The news was just bursting from her pores. She grabbed a glass of water, and laid down on the couch, her hand slowly stroking her lower abdomen gently. She couldn’t believe there was a baby in there. Two. She had two little lives growing inside her, two lives that they made. She and Daiki made two little babies, and she was doing everything in her power to keep them safe, and make sure they grew into big, strong, healthy babies. 

Oreo jumped on the couch, and cuddled with Satsuki. She ran her fingers through the kitten’s black and white fur thinking back on that first day they adopted their cats. She’d been so excited, so ready. It was part of what she needed to heal.

Cats. 

Litter box. 

Her heart raced. She couldn’t clean their litter boxes, and they weren’t outdoor cats. Daiki wasn’t home to clean them. And she couldn’t let them get dirty. Even with the self cleaning ones they had, you still had to take the bag out every day. She couldn’t handle it. That could hurt the twins. She had to tell someone, anyone who could help her out just until Daiki came back. She called the only person she knew she could trust. 

*****

Tetsu sipped his tea quietly. Satsuki hugged her legs together as they sat in silence. She’d asked him to stop by, and so far she hadn’t had the guts to say anything. She made him tea, and in the process threw up at the bitter smell. Tetsu had rubbed her back, played the forever amazing best friend that he was. But they hadn’t really talked. She mulled over how to say it in her head. 

“Are you needing help with everything since you’re sick?” Tetsu asked with a concerned look. “I can make you some soup.” 

“No, I’m not sick, but I do need help.” 

“You vomited, Satsuki.” 

“I know.” She watched the condensation drip down the glass of water in her hand. “I’m pregnant.” 

“What?” Tetsu put his mug in his lap. 

“I’m pregnant. Twins. I found out last week. I haven’t told Daiki. I don’t want to tell him over the phone. But I needed to tell someone because of the cats. I can’t mess with their litter. This is a miracle, Tetsu-kun. I refuse to let these babies die for the cats. I love our cats, don’t get me wrong, but Daiki and I have been trying for years.” 

“I thought you two had stopped trying.” 

“We have, but we’re still married, Tetsu.” 

He hummed nodding his head. “Well congratulations, Satsuki.” He smiled at her. “I’m very happy for you. I will help you with whatever you need. I might have to bring the kids with me. I do need to be getting back to work, but we’ll stop by later this evening if that is okay?” 

“Of course,” Satsuki smiled, leaning over and hugging her friend. “Do you want that tea to go?” 

Tetsu shook his head, and finished it off in three gulps. And then he bid her farewell. Satsuki leaned against the door, and smiled to herself. This was all working out. She had three more weeks to go until the second trimester which mean three weeks until the chance of a miscarriage dropped significantly. Only then would she be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment!


	13. Season's Greetings

Satsuki had come up with several different ideas of how to tell Daiki. She'd scoured online to find the best way. Everything seemed either cute, not enough, or over the top. She wanted to surprise him, but she also wanted to be subtle. Showing him the pregnancy test was out of the question. That just seemed like a disgusting idea. Nobody wanted to be touching pee. Sure it was capped, but still. And it wasn't like he was right there. Shirts or onesies were out of the question. They were not jinxing this. Not again. They weren't buying anything. So when she found out that Daiki would be coming home around week thirteen, she ordered some chocolates, arranging for Kagami to pick them up on the way home since they were going to carpool under the guise that he was picking some up for Tetsu, and convince Daiki to get one for her. He would swap the boxes without him knowing. It was going to be perfect. 

She'd call him into the office where she'd be under a sign. She had to make sure it was vague. He'd be confused. Then she'd asked him to open the box to find out they were pregnant. That had taken a while too, but finally she realized the best way. She'd found a website that compared the size of babies to different objects such as fruit and balls. At thirteen weeks the twins were the size of lemons roughly. She couldn't wait. 

Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, heart heart skipping a beat, hoping it was Kagami. Daiki might get upset that their best friends knew before him, but he'd understand in the end. It didn't really matter because they were trying so hard to make this moment perfect. If he wanted to get mad, he could get mad at her. And how could he be mad at the mother of his children? He couldn't because he was just going to be so happy. They both were. 

"On the way." 

Her heart leapt at Kagami's text. Soon. She had waited a month for this. It was so hard keeping the secret. And she couldn't wait to tell the rest of their friends and family. She wanted the guys in Japan to be there, and their parents. It might be best to go back to Tokyo for the big announcement, but then again, they were always wanting to visit them in Los Angeles. They were always saying they'd never been, especially Kise who wanted to have more connections to further his modeling career. She'd talk about it to Daiki. 

His season was over. He'd be available until October. She had to work out her vacation with maternity leave. God, how would she even tell her boss? They couldn't technically say the fact she was pregnant was an issue, but she knew it would be. And she'd have only twelve weeks to stay home once the twins were born. How would that be enough time? In Japan, she'd have a full year of parent leave along with the twelve of maternity leave that she could take before she gave birth. She suddenly was regretting this move. But she'd follow Daiki anywhere he went. She always had. 

Now the wait.

*****

Daiki rubbed his eyes ready to curl up with Satsuki and sleep for oblivion. The last few weeks had been nonstop work. He loved playing more than anything, but goddamn it was exhausting. He wasn’t getting any younger. How did guys do this in their fifties when he wasn’t even thirty yet and was getting so worn out? Hell he was getting worn out at sixteen. There was something wrong with him, or maybe there was just something wrong with everyone else. And Kagami. Fucking Kagami always challenging him when he was so exhausted, but of course he couldn’t turn down a challenge. That would be admitting defeat, and Aomine Daiki refused to be defeated. 

He dropped his bag to the ground, and dug around in his pockets for his keys. He fumbled with them for a moment trying to find the right one before unlocking the door. He picked up his bag, and opened the door, dropping the bag once again next to the door because he honestly couldn’t be bothered to do anything more. 

“Satsuki, I’m home!” he called. 

“In the office!” 

Daiki rubbed his face, and went to go find his wife. He just wanted to sleep. He climbed the stairs slowly. If he had to dish out one more ounce of exertion he was just going to die right then and there. Satsuki could just come downstairs, but no. And he didn’t have the energy to fight her on this. Besides, their bed was more comfortable than the couch. What was she even doing in the office? They hadn’t even finished putting it together. It was basically a bookshelf, a chair, and a desk. It certainly didn’t constitute what an office should be in his opinion. 

He turned the corner to walk in the room and was stopped dead in his tracks. Satsuki was standing under a banner that read: You got something sweet, now for something sour!

"Huh?" He tilted his head to the side. "That doesn't make any sense. I picked up these chocolates for you." 

He went to hand her the box. She pushed it back towards him. "Open it." 

"Why? They're for you." 

"Just do it," she said rolling her eyes. 

"Fine, fine." 

Daiki opened the box. The chocolates had icing spelling out, "CONGRATULATIONS DADDY!" 

He blinked. His heart stopped. Breathing didn’t exist. It couldn’t be true. No, because they had tried for six years. It couldn’t. But Satsuki’s face. Her eyes were sparkling, and her hands were clasped in front of her huge grin. 

“You’re…” he trailed off.

“Yes!”

“You’re pregnant?” 

“Yeah! Thirteen weeks! I found out right after you left. Look!” She skipped across the room, and handed him ultrasounds. “This is baby A, and this one is baby B.”

“A? B?” 

“Yes,” she grinned at him expectantly, waiting for him to process everything. 

“You’re pregnant with twins?” 

“Yes.” She giggled. “I think we need to convert this back into a nursery. And the best news is that I’m already in the second trimester, so chances of a miscarriage are really low now! We can breathe, Daiki!” 

Pregnant.

Twins.

Nursery. 

Suddenly the news hit him like a ton of bricks. He was going to be a dad. They were going to be parents. They were having twins. Their prayers had been answered. Everything over the last six years no longer seemed like a waste. He fell to his knees, hugging Satsuki close, and kissing her lower abdomen. They were there! They were in there! Tears streamed down his face. He couldn’t speak. It was all so surreal, but this was happening. They were going to be parents. 

Satsuki ran her fingers through his hair for a moment. “Dai-chan?” 

He glanced up at her for a moment. She took his arms away from her, and lifted her shirt, pushing down her pants at the same time. There in her usually flat stomach was a little bump, ever so slight. Proof that their child, no _children_ , were in there, growing and safe. Satsuki would keep them safe. She was the best mother in the world. 

He gasped, “The cats!” 

“Don’t worry. Tetsu has been helping.” 

“He knew?” Daiki narrowed his eyes up at her. 

“Yeah. He and Kagami helped me with the surprise.” 

“Wait. Hold up. Rewind. Kagami? Kagami knew before me? Tetsu I can understand, but Kagami? What the hell?” 

Satsuki laughed, and sat down on the floor next to him. “I needed someone to tell me when you were coming home. You like to surprise me. I had to make sure everything was perfect. And I needed him to distract you.”

“So you tell that asshole about my children before me because you needed warning about a sign?” He blinked at her, confused and betrayed. 

“He’s your best friend.” 

“So?” 

“Daiki, come on now.” 

“Fine. Fine. But just know I’m hurt.” 

“Okay,” Satsuki said rolling her eyes.

He leaned over and pulled her into a tight hug. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too." She snuggled against him for a moment before looking up at him. "Now that your season is over, you get to be my house husband. Pregnant women need their man. And you weren't even here when I was puking my guts out. Got some making up to do."

He laughed, and hugged her tighter. "I will do anything for you, Satsuki." 

*****

Daiki still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Satsuki was pregnant. Sleep had escaped him, and the nap he had planned on taking when he got home turned into him laying in bed staring at the small bump on Satsuki's stomach. His fingertips occasionally brushed against her skin. Satsuki ran her fingers through his hair absently as she watched him with a smile. 

"Do you feel them yet?" he whispered. 

"Not yet," Satsuki murmured. She rubbed her eyes, and stretched. "Just gas...I think. It's hard to say." 

"I think they're moving," Daiki said. "I don't think it's just gas." 

"I was looking and you can't really tell if you're this early. They said usually around eighteen weeks." 

Daiki stared at her for a moment. "That's five more weeks." 

"Good job, you can finally do math." 

He rolled his eyes at her, and sighed. "I want to feel them." 

*****

"I want to feel them." 

Satsuki chewed her lip. What if this was like last time? What if he couldn't ever feel them? The joy and excitement of the pregnancy were still overshadowed by the pain and fear of miscarrying. It seemed too good to be true. How were they just randomly blessed with twins when they were trying for so hard for so long with nothing? Every day she was terrified. The slightest sensation in her lower abdomen sent terror through her. She had to keep these twins in. At least until twenty-five weeks. 

She had been reading a lot online. She was so terrified of not being able to go to term. She already had the odds against her with a miscarriage and twins. Twenty-five weeks was when babies had a good chance of survival. If she couldn't do it all the way, she was determined to get to the point they could live without her keeping them alive. 

Daiki was mesmerized by the news. He looked exhausted, but he refused to sleep. He was head over heels in love with those twins. He could see them. He had wanted them his whole life. It was always "when I grow up and have kids of my own, I'm gonna teach them *insert activity here.*" She never thought of it, so naturally this meant more to him. He was already attached. It made her feel guilty because she was trying to keep her distance. She couldn't stand another heartbreak like the last time. Never again. 

She kept running her fingers through Daiki's hair because it was so calming. It kept her grounded. She'd missed her husband so much, and now he was here. She wanted to cuddle with him, and kiss him, tell him how much she loved him. But here they were curled up admiring their twins which was how it was supposed to be. She loved it. Really they didn't need to say they loved each other. It was things like this that said it all. 

Their lives were changing for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment! It makes my heart so happy! <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza that was a while for an update! Work was crazy, and now I'm vacation :D My apologies. <3

Each day Satsuki felt like she was getting bigger. She was so nervous that people would start to catch on before they told their parents. She threw yet another dress to the side, grumbling. Nothing fit well, or it was too tight. It pissed her off. She needed to go shopping, and get things that would hide the pregnancy until she was ready for her coworkers, Riko, and Junpei to know. That was going to be after they told their parents, and the squad back in Tokyo. If they found out, she’d never forgive herself. She wished that they could be normal. Most people get to the second trimester, and then make a big reveal, but they couldn’t do that. 

Daiki turned over in bed with a groan, and rubbed his eyes. Satsuki smirked at him, and skipped across the room to turn the main light on. 

“Fuck, Satsuki, turn it off.” He covered his face with his arms. 

Satsuki giggled, and crawled on the bed. She straddled his waist, and kissed him. 

“This, this is the better way to be woken up,” he said with a laugh. He ran his fingers up and down her arms. 

“Nothing fits me.” 

“We can go shopping.” 

“I have to go work.” 

“Can you be late?” 

“No,” Satsuki muttered. 

She crawled off and him, and out of bed. He sat up, sleep still written all over his face. She handed him a cup of water and his pills eliciting an eye roll in response.

“You’re going to be a great mom.” He rolled his eyes. 

“I’m gonna be amazing with our kids when they’re teenagers thanks to you.” 

“Shut up,” he grumbled. 

Satsuki laughed, and went back to digging through her closet. “Everything makes it look obvious I’ve got a little belly going on.” 

“Just wear it, and play it off on you eating a lot of junk.” 

“Like anyone would believe that. I’m married to a professional athlete.”

“I’m the athlete, not you. Besides I eat a shitload of junk.” 

Satsuki nodded, thinking. It didn’t make much sense. She was still her usual self everywhere else. Her face was a little rounder, but hardly noticeable. The only reason she noticed was that she looked at herself a billion times a day for pregnancy changes so they knew when to make the surprise happen. 

“This would be easier if I could just gain weight everywhere like most women do. Then I could just say I’m stress eating. But then I’d get an intervention at work. They can’t have one of the faces of the company looking anything less than what their brand stands for.” 

Finally she settled on a black pencil skirt, and a flowy blouse. She turned to face Daiki. “What do you think? Can you tell?” 

He stared at her for a moment before shrugging. “Honestly I can see it, but that’s because I’m looking for it. I don’t think anyone is going to be looking for a tiny little bump.”

“It’s not tiny,” Satsuki sighed as she walked into the bathroom to curl her hair and do her makeup. “I already feel like I’m super noticeable. I just want to tell our parents already. Then I can stop stressing. But I wanted to get further along first. At least twenty-three weeks because I don’t want to jinx it. But I think I’ll be so obvious in only a week or two.”

“Let’s do it then.” 

“How?” 

“I don’t know. We could call them.” 

“That’s not how I want to tell them.” 

“What do you want to do?” 

“Surprise party.” Satsuki looked at him over the curling iron. “Just have everyone over, then boom. And we tell them about how hard it was too because I just need that to be out there in the air. It’s amazing how much better we could breathe when our friends knew.” 

“You just want to be petty, and make them feel bad for making comments.” 

Satsuki shrugged. “Maybe.” 

She couldn’t help it. They’d made her cry so many times over not having a baby, about putting her career ahead of having a baby. She and Daiki got married right after graduating from their university at twenty-one and twenty-two. She was getting her master’s in business administration when Daiki asked her if they could start trying. They were trying when she got her dream job. They were trying with every promotion. They kept trying. And trying. And trying. It was her personal choice that kept them from knowing, but she didn’t want them to be looked at with pity. Now she was being petty, but she really didn’t give a single fuck. 

“We’re getting an anatomy scan next week where we find out the sex and we can make sure they’re healthy. How about we tell them after that?” Daiki suggested. “Then we can answer all the questions.” 

“Yes! Should we ask them to come here, or should we go back to Tokyo? I want to tell our friends.”

“Seeing as I’m off, it might be easier for us to just go to Tokyo. My parents love to throw parties. We could do it there. Just tell them the season is over. That we didn’t make it, but got second which fucking sucks, but they’ll be thrilled.” Daiki fell back on the bed. “What about Riko and Junpei?” 

“We can tell them when we get back. Or I can invite them to join us.” 

Daiki hummed in agreement. He pulled himself out of bed, and fished a pair of track pants and a hoodie out of a laundry basket, pulling it on. Satsuki made a face at him. 

“What?” He asked pulling the hoodie on. “They’re clean.” 

“Questionable.”

“ _Clean._ I just don’t like putting them up is all.”

“Virgos are supposed to be organized,” Satsuki muttered. “That’s what Midorin always said.” 

“I am organized,” Daiki argued. “Just in my own way is all. I thought we’d been together for ten years. And who cares what he has to say?” 

Satsuki rolled her eyes. She was sure one of these days this man was going to make her optic nerve or muscles just give out with how much he made her roll her eyes. Especially lately since he’d come back. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones that contributed to him annoying her more than usual. She loved him to death, but my god could he test her patience. 

She set the curling iron down, unplugged it, and started her makeup. That would calm her nerves. She always loved makeup. She used to watch her mom put it on and do her hair. Getting ready with Mommy was something she loved and missed. The first time her mom let her wear makeup was the best, and then Satsuki started learning to do hair, makeup, and nails with her mom. She learned her keen fashion sense from her. But she always wanted to get down and dirty too. Having a boy best friend from such a young age probably had something to do with it. There were other girls like Riko who were into that sort of thing too, but Satsuki just never vibed well with them. It wasn’t until middle school that she started having girl friends, but she still spent so much time with the boys. She even went through an “I’m not like other girls” phase that so many go through. It made her cringe now. 

She glanced over at Daiki who was now sitting on the toilet watching her. He had a weird habit of watching her get ready. It was weird. 

“You better not sit there. I still occasionally having morning sickness, you know.” 

She was nineteen weeks, and just wanted all of that to stop. She still felt nauseous. Certain smells sent her running to the trash can. She was so thankful the times it had happened at work she was either already in the bathroom, or in her office. She couldn’t imagine letting anyone at work know before the people who mattered most. 

She turned to face Daiki, and sighed. He stared at her with exhausted eyes. She should have let him sleep more. She’d made him go out for a milkshake at two in the morning. That wasn’t even the first errand she had him going on. She was sending this man all over, really milking her being pregnant. But the cravings were coming. Hard. 

“We’re going to Japan next week. I need you to make sure to call your parents, and tell them. Make sure they know you want a party. Then tell the guys about it. I need this to be perfect. I’m going to tell Riko that she’s invited to go with us back to Tokyo, but if she refuses, we’re waiting. Please book our tickets and a room. I know we usually stay with our parents, but ya know…” She glanced away. “For privacy.” 

Pregnancy was making her horny as hell. She already had a high libido, but since getting pregnant it was higher, and being around Daiki just had the hormones flooding her system. If she wanted to have sex with her husband, then she was going to do it. She couldn’t do that with her parents around. They could hear them, and she’d be mortified. 

“Yeah, sure,” Daiki yawned. “Just give me a date.” 

“The scan is Monday, so book it for that night.” 

“Okay.” He smiled softly at her. “I can’t believe it’s real.” 

“Me either,” she breathed. 

He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her hips, and hugging her close. He pressed a kiss to her bump. She ran her fingers through his hair, smiling down at him while he had a moment with their twins. 

“Daddy is so rude not saying hi to you two for so long. I’m sorry. I love you both so much.” 

He’d already had a habit of talking to them any chance he got. He told them about his day, about her, about things he wanted to show them. She’d always heard the saying that a woman becomes a mom when she finds out she’s pregnant, but a man doesn’t become a dad until the baby is born. In some ways she could understand, but Daiki was a dad far before she ever felt like a mom. She still didn’t. Maybe it was the wall she put up. She couldn’t let herself get too close to them until they were viable. She let herself get carried away with Hoshi. But dear god did she love them. 

“I think it’s time for your dad to take me to work,” Satsuki said softly. 

“Fine, fine. Your mom is a pushy lady. Remember that. You won’t get away with anything. She’ll make you do it. You just gotta do it the first time she asks.” 

“Oh, so now you’re going to listen to me the first time.” Satsuki crossed her arms, and rolled her eyes. “Finally. Finally after twenty-five years you’re learning.” 

“Well yeah. I gotta be a good example.” He stood up. “Besides we’re going to be parents. Gotta grow up sometime, right?” 

“You picked twenty-nine to grow up?” She giggled. “You’re such a loser.” 

“Technically I’ll be thirty before they get here.” 

“I’m going to stay eternally twenty-nine.” 

“Too bad you turn thirty tomorrow.” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” She covered her face, and groaned. 

“Calm down. You still look the same as when we were eighteen, so don’t worry. Fine wine and all that shit.” He kissed her forehead. “Let’s go.” 

*****

Daiki hated getting up early. Really he just hated getting up in general. He wanted to sleep forever. Always had. The one thing he was wary about when it came to fatherhood was the sleep deprivation. With Satsuki working, he was going to be the primary at home. They refused to have daycare, at least at first. Satsuki was due in January, so it'd be the height of respiratory virus season. They tried so hard for this, and they weren't risking their newborns being exposed to something as dangerous as flu or RSV. That killed babies. Nope. So Satsuki waking him up at all hours to run errands or go get her food that she didn't eat when he got back was good practice. And driving her to work was a new thing.

_Are you seriously going to want me to walk up that hill when it's a million degrees outside?_

It was cute. He liked having these normal conversations that expecting couples have. He was happy to be able to be a part of this. He wished championships hadn't gotten in the way of being there through the first trimester. It honestly killed him that he wasn't there for Satsuki. For the first time, he was actually happy that his team hadn’t advanced to the finals. He had until October to be with Satsuki. But would he renew? 

It was something he’d been thinking about since Satsuki told him they were expecting. Being pro had always been his dream. He dedicated his whole life to basketball and reaching that dream. When he got signed, it didn’t feel real. Now he’d spent the better part of the last ten years playing, living his dream. But he was only getting older. Being pro was draining. Satsuki may see it as him staying home most of the day, but he practices were intense. He was yelled at the majority of the day, everyone was. It got frustrating. There were cameras and lights in his face after every game. It wasn’t just physical exhaustion. It was everything. He wanted that energy for their kids. He wanted to actually be home with them. They had more than enough money saved, and Satsuki made an amazing salary. He could use his fallback plan of being a police officer if it meant their kids would have the best. They’d move back to Japan, and everything would be normal. He just needed to talk to Satsuki about it. 

He played with her hand, her fingers laced with his while he drove down the highway. Music was playing over the radio, but neither of them were listening. They were in their own thoughts. He wondered what she was thinking. Did she think about the future in terms of their careers? What was she most worried about? How could he help her? 

“We have counselling this week,” Satsuki said softly. 

Daiki glanced at her before going back to the road. He had hoped they were done with that. They were expecting now. Satsuki had finally gotten over blaming herself. They were in a good place. Why did they need to go back? They were so happy. Satsuki absently rubbed her thumb over her stomach. 

“You still wanna go?” 

“I don’t know. I think it would be good, don’t you?” 

He grunted in response. “I think we’ve talked about a lot, and worked through things that were a problem. Things are better now.” 

Satsuki hummed. “One more session, okay? Since it’s already scheduled. We can talk about the pregnancy then, okay?” 

Daiki nodded with a sigh. “I just want to be us again, ya know? Without having to talk to other people about it.”

Satsuki sighed, and took her hand away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean for anything to happen, you know. I didn’t mean to pull away.” 

“I know.” 

“I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.”

“And I’m just scared to stop going because things are so amazing right now. We’re about to have twins which is going to be hard on our relationship. We want this with every fiber of our soul, but it’s still going to be a lot, ya know? And I’m scared that I’m going to feel the way I did before where I was so disconnected from you.” 

Daiki hummed softly. “I think the fact that you’re talking about it is a step. You spend to much time caring about others, and not enough of yourself. Acknowledging your feelings and talking about them is good. That’s what you need.” 

“I know.” She sighed, and brushed her hair behind her ear. “Also I don’t think I can stomach the smell of coffee right now. I shouldn’t have it anyway.” 

“Fine with me,” Daiki agreed, turning off his blinker to their usual coffee shop, and kept going the way to Satsuki’s job. 

*****

“As you can see, our profits have risen since our last campaign.” Satsuki used the pinlight to highlight the sales graph projected on the wall. “Our demographic of eighteen to thirty-five year olds has skyrocketed, while our demographic of thirty-six years and up has stayed stagnant which is why-” 

Slight movement in her lower abdomen caught her off guard. She resisted the urge to put her hand to her stomach. She couldn’t give it away, or let them think that she was sick. She had been working on the presentation all week, and she needed this to go well. It was probably just gas anyway. She was just anxious to feel them move. 

“Are you alright, Mrs. Aomine?” her boss asked, shifting in her chair. 

“Yes,” Satsuki said, clearing her throat. A few more movement brought a huge smile to her face. It wasn’t gas. She could feel them moving. She couldn’t wait to tell Daiki. “I’m great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment. Please? Pretty please?


	15. No More Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for your continued support! So this was going to be an even longer chapter where they caught up with GOM more, and hung out. We'll get that next chapter. :D

The twins were moving. Satsuki was trying her hardest to try to get Daiki to feel them, but he couldn’t. It was so frustrating. While it was great that Satsuki had those private moments with their children, he really wanted to be able to feel them too. Seeing Satsuki’s growing stomach only made him want to be part of the experience more. Time had never been so slow. He sighed, and just rubbed his thumb over her belly, his head resting on his other arm. Satsuki sighed as well, and ran her fingers of the hand not currently holding Daiki's through his hair. 

“It'll happen soon, Dai-chan.”

“I know.” Daiki rubbed his eyes, sitting up. “I just wish that it would happen sooner. We’ve been patient.” 

“Well, we’re going to have to keep being patient. I think this is what we’re supposed to have. Moms and babies have this bond that’s unshakable, and I think that part of that is that I can feel them for a few weeks before anyone else can. They need to grow stronger and bigger before you can feel them on the outside. I’m only a little over twenty weeks. It’ll happen. I promise.” 

Their conversation was cut short when Dr. Adams walked into the room. Daiki hadn’t seen her in so long. Seeing her sent a wave of anxiety over him that quickly faded away. Six years of only seeing someone for negative things was going to take a toll. His mind had just made the association that when they saw her, it was bad news. But they were here for good news. 

“Good morning! How are you two doing today?” 

“Great!” Satsuki beamed, glancing at Daiki. “Can’t wait to see how the twins are doing.” 

“Wonderful.” Dr. Adams smiled. “My condolences on the loss, Daiki. I’m a diehard Laker. My wife and I were very disappointed, but you played well.” 

“Thanks,” Daiki said with a shrug. “Coming home to a pregnancy made all that disappointment go away.” 

“Well that’s great.” 

She went over the symptoms Satsuki was having before doing a pelvic exam. Daiki wondered how Satsuki handled being fondled so much over the last six years. Judging by the way she fixed her eyes on the ceiling and let a few breaths out through her mouth, not well. He wished she didn’t have to deal with it so much. It seemed so violating. There was always a part of him that was a bit uneasy about knowing what was going on. But it made sense that she needed to have it done to make sure everything was going well, but still. 

Then it was the time they’d been waiting for. He was finally going to hear their hearts beating. He hadn’t been there the first ultrasound. This time was an anatomy scan. They were going to see their babies in detail. Now they’d know what they were having. He hoped they were having a boy. Just one. As long as they were healthy, he was fine. But dear god did he want a boy. Every man did. There was something about having a daughter that made him nervous. But he had always heard there was something special between fathers and daughters that he would love to experience. He’d seen that with Satsuki and her father. She had him tied around her little finger. 

Daiki moved closer to Satsuki. He held his breath when Dr. Adams put the wand to Satsuki’s stomach. Even though the twins were just moving, his heart was heavy with fear that it’d only be one heartbeat...Satsuki’s heartbeat. Alone. He knew that wasn’t the case, that it was irrational to even think it was a possibility. But there was a deep-rooted fear it would happen again. Call it PTSD or whatever. That was his fear, but it was quickly put to rest when the room filled with three strong heartbeats. His eyes filled with tears at the sound. He took Satsuki’s hand, and squeezed it. She turned and smiled at him. He leaned over and kissed her. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Their children were safe. They were right there. Their hearts were so strong. He couldn’t believe it. 

Dr. Adams turned the monitor toward them, and smiled. Daiki stared at the screen, mesmerized. They were there. His babies, the babies he made with Satsuki. He could barely believe it was real. How had they made them? The 3D ultrasound was all he needed to be sucked in. He could see their faces! Sure it wasn’t really clear, but there were ideas of faces. They had Satsuki’s face shape, and his eyes. Perfect. They were absolutely perfect. 

“Everything looks great. Both are healthy. Do you two want to know the sex of the babies?” 

“Yes,” Daiki and Satsuki answered in unison. 

Dr. Adams laughed. “Okay. Baby A is a girl.”

Daiki’s heart skipped a beat. A smile danced on his lips. He kissed Satsuki’s hand. They were going to have a girl. He’d get to feel that relationship that Satsuki had with her father. Nerves ran through him. He was going to be a girl dad. He couldn’t wait for everything that came with that. He held his breath, and closed his eyes, hoping the next would be a boy. He longed for a boy. They hadn’t had Hoshi long. He just wanted a boy to teach all the things he’d wanted to teach his son. 

“Baby B...hm...come on, kiddo. Girl! Two perfect, healthy girls.” 

Daiki’s heart sank. He felt his entire body sulk. Quickly he tried to recover to no avail. Satsuki had already noticed. He set his jaw, swallowed the lump in his throat, and forced a smile hoping that he wouldn’t cry. He lost the chance at a son. But they were healthy, and that’s all that matters. He’d be the best dad to those two little girls. Nobody would mess with them. He was about to have himself wrapped around their fingers. He knew it. They had tried so hard. He shouldn’t feel this disappointed. But in that moment he mourned the hopes of having a son born alive. He’d always have his little boy in heaven. 

Satsuki took his hand that he’d let go of unconsciously. “Hey,” she whispered. “I know. It’s okay. They’re healthy.” 

He nodded, and kissed her hand. “I’m so happy.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” 

Dr. Adams’ eyes lingered on them for a moment before she pulled the wand away, and handed Satsuki wipes to clean the gel off of her stomach. She didn’t say much. Daiki wondered if she was judging them for his reaction. Did she see it a lot? Was she thinking about misinformed stereotypes about Japanese men? He hated that he felt that way. It wasn’t that he was disappointed he was having two girls. He just wanted a son that hadn’t died. Was that too much to ask? Was he a terrible person for feeling this way? 

“Do either of you have any questions?” 

“Oh!” Satsuki perked up. “We’re supposed to fly to Tokyo this afternoon to surprise my parents with the news. Do you think I’m safe to fly?” 

“Of course, you are. That’s so exciting. I hope you have a safe flight. I’ll see you in two weeks.” 

Satsuki nodded, and Dr. Adams left the room. Daiki leaned forward, digging his palms into this eyes. Girls were a gift. But god he wanted a boy. Tears leaked from his eyes, but he refused to let Satsuki see him cry over something so stupid, so trivial. He felt her arms around him. 

“I know. I wanted a boy too,” she said softly. “Boys always love their mommies.” 

*****

Daiki missed Tokyo. The air was different, smelled different, felt different. He’d missed the freedom. He missed feeling home. Going back was a wave of nostalgia. The first thing he always did was get some real, quality Japanese. The stuff back in LA, if you went to Little Tokyo, was decent, but it was nothing like the real stuff. And nothing beat his mother’s cooking. He wished he had spent more time with her learning how to cook just like her because Satsuki was all but banned from the kitchen. Now when he went back, he spent more and more time with his mother. 

He and Satsuki got settled in their hotel room before they went to dinner with their parents. Daiki fell back against the bed, and covered his eyes with his arms, reveling in the fact he could stretch his long limbs now after the fifteen-hour flight. Sleeping on planes was awful. His muscles ached. He waited for Satsuki to lay down next to him, and when she didn’t, he looked up. She was in her bra and underwear looking through their suitcase probably getting ready to shower after the long travel.

His eyes immediately went to her stomach. It was like overnight, she’d popped. It wasn’t a small bump in her pelvis anymore, but further up and noticeable. She brushed her hair back, and sighed. 

“Daiki, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to hide this long enough for us to tell them.” She rubbed her back as she stood up. “And I think they’re going to notice when they hug me.” 

“Then let’s just not try to hide it.” 

“We went all the way from LA to Tokyo to surprise them. My back is killing me. My ankles are swollen. I am exhausted. We are surprising them, Daiki.” She narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Okay, fine. Come here.” He held out her hand to him. She reluctantly took it, and let him pull her into a hug. “How about I give you a massage?” 

“Thank you,” Satsuki said softly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “After I shower. I’m a mess.” 

“Okay. I’ll take a nap then.” 

“Shouldn’t you shower too?” She made a face. 

“Fine. I’ll join you.” 

“Good,” she smirked before she kissed him. “But no funny business. I’m not about to be having shower sex pregnant. I don’t want to risk anything.” 

“Fine by me. I’m too tired for that.” 

“Good. Then a nap after you give me that massage.” 

“Deal.” 

The warm shower made Daiki want to just curl up and sleep in the shower, but it was probably a bad idea seeing as the floor was probably disgusting. They finished up, and Daiki pulled his clothes on, now regretting offering that massage. Maybe she’d be just as tired. He turned around to find her standing in front of a mirror, her body tense. Her eyes were wide, and her hand was covering her mouth. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked rushing to her side. 

“I...There...I…” 

“What? Are you okay?” His heart was racing, his mind instantly going to the worst. 

“Yeah, just…” Tears filled her eyes.

“What? You’re scaring me.” 

“Look.” She turned around, and motioned to a few faint pink lights on the side of her stomach. “I’m getting stretch marks. I know it’s stupid to cry over, but…” 

A sob escaped her. Daiki pulled her into a tight hug. 

“It’s good because it means they’re growing, but nobody wants them, you know?” she said after a few minutes. “And my hormones are all over the place. It’s stupid. I shouldn’t be crying over this.” She wiped the tears from her face, and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m just being crazy. I shouldn’t complain. We wanted this for so long.” 

“Hey, just because we wanted this for a long time doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be upset over the changes in your body. It’s a lot to handle sometimes. It’s okay. You’re always going to be the most beautiful woman in the entire world.” 

She laughed, and shook her head. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

*****

She leaned against him, closing her eyes, and just listening to his steady breathing and heart beating. She tried to match him to keep from further breaking down. It was silly. She loved that he understood. She worried that he would have thought she was being dramatic, but he didn’t. There was so much change going on. She went from the tiniest bump to noticeable overnight. Her back was already starting to hurt, and her ankles were swollen. She felt huge. She was always hungry, but always had heartburn. And my god was she always horny, but then at the same time she was self conscious. Daiki kept her grounded. He kept her sane. 

All those years of knowing him, and she would have never in her wildest dreams thought the person she knew before they went through all of this together could be as amazing as he was. She didn’t know anyone who she’d rather go through this with. All the guys she’d been with had never even shined a match to him. Their transition from best friends to dating had been a bit awkward and bumpy at first, but then it was like they’d always been together. And he was everything she ever wanted. She was so happy that he was her husband.

*****

Satsuki loved the little flutters going on inside her as the twins did flips and cartwheels. They were playing. She couldn’t wait to see them playing, to play with them. She couldn’t wait for them to be born. She slipped into her sundress, and started on her makeup while Daiki sat on the foot of the bed watching television. TV just wasn’t the same in America. She missed the game shows that were so over the top, and the funny commercials. The news wasn’t trying to terrify you. It was so much more peaceful. She missed it. 

She hummed to herself while she worked. She was happy to have taken the week off. Staying here would help them reset. She finished up, throwing her makeup in the bag, and walking out of the bathroom. She pulled on a cardigan, grabbed her purse, and stared at herself in the mirror. You could tell that her stomach wasn’t the same. The dress didn’t fall straight down anymore. There was a bit of a bump. She positioned the cardigan to where it was less noticeable. Perfect. 

“Daiki, I’m ready!”

“Okay,” he mumbled, eyes glued to the television. 

“Let’s go!” 

“Okay.” 

She rolled her eyes, walking over to the television and switching it off. “We’re ready.” 

“I know,” he said rubbing the back of his head. “I’m just nervous to look your dad in the eye now that he knows what we’ve been doing.” 

Satsuki had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. “And what have we been doing, Daiki?”

“Ya know...sex and stuff.” His cheeks flushed. 

She laughed. “Babe, we’ve been married for seven years. I think he knows.” 

“But still. You know he could have thought we were having a celibate marriage. You don’t know.” 

“Do you think my dad is stupid?” She rolled her eyes. “Pretty sure he knew when we came back to visit and got a hotel room that first time after we started dating. He likes you. Approves. Look at you all shy now that you’re gonna have daughters. Don’t you see why I told you not to be looking at those magazines and watching porn?” 

“No, because sex workers need consumers for their livelihood.” 

“Liar.” She grinned, and kissed him. “My dad won’t hate you.”

“You don’t know that.” 

“When has my dad ever been anything but fond of you?” 

“I mean...I obviously...ya know’d, you.” 

“He was one of the ones asking when we were gonna have a baby. Come on. He’s not going to kill you. You’ve got like a foot on him.” She laughed at his shocked face, and pulled him behind her to the door. 

Satsuki spent the majority of the time to his parents’ house trying to convince Daiki that everything between him and her dad would be fine, but he wasn’t convinced. It was strange how much having a daughter could change a man. She’d heard stories of it, and Riko talked about it to, but she never thought her husband would be one to be affected like that. She did wonder what her dad’s reaction had been to finding out that she and Daiki had started having sex. From what she could remember, that first December after they’d gotten together and decided to get a hotel because they couldn’t keep off of each other, Daiki had gotten a lot of glares. Daiki was far too tall, broad, and fit for her father to pick a fight with, plus he was like a son to him. Still, she did understand in a way. It was still hilarious. 

They walked the familiar path from the metro to Daiki’s family home. Satsuki wanted to run to the house, and give her mother the biggest hug, but she had to wait. Besides, that would only cause her cardigan to move making it obvious that she was expecting. She had to be calm, to take her time, but her heart was still racing, longing for her mother. 

At last they reached the door, and Satsuki was practically buzzing with excitement. When the door opened, Daiki’s parents greeted them with hugs. Satsuki was sure to lean toward them at the waist as to not let her bump get in the way. Her mother pulled her close, kissing her cheek. Satsuki tried to offset herself enough her mother wouldn’t notice, but the sly look on her mother’s face told her the jig was up. 

“You’re positively glowing, Satsuki!” she cooed, pushing her daughter’s hair out of her face. “And your hair is so full. What are they doing over there in Los Angeles?” 

Satsuki forced a laugh. “Must be the new products from work!” 

“Did you bring any for me?” 

“I do have some, yes,” Satsuki said as she let her mother pull her into the house. 

Daiki’s mother always made the best food. Growing up, both of her parents worked long hours which meant for the majority of the time she stayed with Daiki’s mom after school. She often had dinners at the Aomine home. She couldn’t resist the woman’s cooking. When she had dinner with her own parents, it was a lot of take out, or what her dad whipped up. Her mother wasn’t good at cooking either. The smell of the home made Satsuki’s stomach grumble. She could feel the twins move around at the prospect of food. She resisted the urge to touch her stomach. 

“Did you two have a good flight?” His mother asked. 

“Long,” Daiki yawned. 

“Good,” Satsuki corrected. 

“That’s good to hear. I do wish you two would move back. I miss my baby.” Daiki’s mother wrapped her arm around her son, giving him a light squeeze. 

“Mom, I told you-”

“We hope to one day, oka-san,” Satsuki answered with a smile. “Just after Daiki finishes with NBA.” 

“Perfect.” 

“Well, let’s eat shall we?” Satsuki’s mother asked, clasping her hands together. “You two must be starving after such a long flight.” 

“Yes, please!” Satsuki beamed. 

They sat down at the table, and once everyone was served, they began their dinner. Satsuki hoped the table would mask her hand on her stomach, rubbing it gently with her thumb. She wanted to be able to finally do it when she wanted to. 

“So what really brings you two back to Tokyo?” her mother asked, folding her arms across the table. “I hardly think it’s to let Daiki’s parents throw a party for the season ending prematurely.” 

Satsuki glanced at Daiki, who nodded. Satsuki turned to her mother, and grinned. “We’re pregnant!” 

“What?” Daiki’s mother gasped with a laugh. 

“Twins. Two girls,” Daiki said through a mouth full of food. 

Satsuki elbowed him. “No talking with food in your mouth!” 

Without saying a word, Daiki’s father patted him on the back and gave him a high five. She rolled her eyes. Her father-in-law was just as rough around the edges as Daiki was. Probably where he got it from. The man was the one who gave a twelve-year-old Daiki a lingerie magazine after the sex talk. She didn’t know why she expected anything else. Part of it stung though after everything they’d gone through. 

“Sweetheart, I’m so happy for you two!” her father smiled, standing up and hugging her, before hugging Daiki. 

“Thank you, Daddy,” she beamed. 

Daiki’s mother was still staring at her across the table, tears streaming down her face. Satsuki couldn’t stop beaming. She glanced at her own mother who was sipping on her water. 

“Mama?” 

“Oh, baby I’ve known.” 

“What?” Satsuki knit her brow.

“We skyped a few months back before Daiki had the championship playoffs, and I knew.”

“How?”

“A mother knows.” 

“Girls? Twins?” Daiki’s mom finally got to her feet, and ran to Satsuki, pulling her into a hug. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Satsuki giggled softly. 

“Can I see?” Satsuki nodded, taking her cardigan off, and cradling her belly to show it off through the dress. Daiki’s mother let out a sob and laugh at the same time once again, and put her hand to her stomach. 

“We haven’t felt from the outside yet,” Satsuki explained. “But I want Daiki to be the first to feel it when they do.” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” She held her hand up to her chest like a child who’d gotten slapped. 

“It’s okay, oka-san.” 

“How far?” 

“Twenty weeks.” 

“Twenty weeks? Twenty weeks?” She smacked the back of Daiki’s head. “I am asking about grandchildren, and you wait to tell me for twenty weeks?” 

“Ow, fuck. Mom!” He rubbed his head. She smacked him again. “Watch your language.” 

“Sorry,” he muttered. 

“We wanted to tell you in person,” Satsuki told her. “And we wanted to know they were healthy before we told anyone.” 

“Why? You two are both young. It’s an easy thing at your age. Do the deed, get pregnant, give birth.” 

“There are miscarriages. We didn’t want to tell anyone bef-”

“What are the odds of a young, healthy woman having a miscarriage?” 

Satsuki swallowed hard, blinking to keep the tears from coming. “You know now, oka-san. I’m sorry.”

“I can’t stay upset! Girls. Imagine.” 

She beamed, and hugged Daiki, who made no move to love her back. Satsuki could see it was taking everything to keep from telling his mother the truth. Satsuki sat down slowly. She just wanted to cry. Miscarrying had been the worst time of their lives. It was still fresh. She could still see Hoshi's impossibly small, red alien-like body. She missed her son. She felt responsible for what happened to him. 

“I always wanted a girl,” Daiki's mother was going on. “That's why I'm happy I had you around so much.”

Satsuki knew her mother-in-law was a boy mom through and through. Maybe at one point she would have been great with a girl, but she married an unpolished man who have given her an even more unpolished son. The poor woman has been run ragged. And it wasn't like Daiki had the best teenage years for her to deal with. His mother had become rough around the edges to match the men in her life. It was hard to see her with two little girls. 

She felt eyes on her. She glanced up, instantly making eye contact with her mother. The look in her eye said it all. She knew there was more to the story. Who wouldn't? It wasn't like the mere mention of a miscarriage had brought tears to the corners of her eyes, and Daiki had gotten tense. Daiki's parents might not have been in tune, but her mother was. Those words _a mother knows_ echoed in her head. Would she know? Would she be that kind of mother?

“Everything okay, baby?”

Satsuki nodded. “Perfect.”

*****

Satsuki spent the night crying over the miscarriage. Daiki cried with her through some of it. They mourned the loss of their son, while celebrating the life of his sisters. Satsuki couldn’t wait to tell Daiki’s mother the truth, see the look on her face. She loved the woman almost as much as he own mother, but the comments of children and miscarriages over the years were too much for Satsuki. She wanted everyone to know what they struggled with, what they’d been through. She wanted them all to know how their words affected them. It was petty. It was childish. It was immature. It was unbecoming of a mother, but Satsuki didn’t care. This hurt too much. She wanted to see the look on their faces.

She hummed softly to herself while she helped set up the decorations. A guise of the season being over. It was hilarious the lengths Daiki’s parents would go to have a party. They loved having the house filled with people. Always had. Daiki’s mother always said that once she had Daiki, she never wanted another kid because he was so exhausting, always running around and getting into stuff. So in lieu of having another, she hosted parties and get togethers. Nobody threw a party like Aomine Mei. 

The doorbell rang, and Satsuki’s heart leapt with joy. She missed her friends. Leaving was always one of the hardest things. Starting over in LA had been hell, but also so liberating. For the first time in her life she had been able to explore her sexuality and what it meant, and in the process unknowingly broke her best friend’s heart time and time again with every guy she brought home. But at the same time everything she had ever known was in Tokyo. Coming home was always refreshing. She couldn't wait to see the guys. 

She held her breath waiting to see who had gotten there early. Satsuki wished she looked cuter, but Daiki had the idea that she should wear one of his hoodies if she wanted to hide her bump for the time being, so she was wearing one over a lilac sundress. They were almost the same length which was starting to make her feel weird. What if their friends thought she was just wearing a hoodie and nothing else? Well she did wear short shorts, so it’d make sense. Still she wanted to look nice. She’d feel cute, maybe even sexy at home because she loved wearing his clothes. Wearing his jerseys with nothing but underwear made her feel even better. But that was for when it was just them, and when she was in the mood. 

“Aomine-chi! Satsuki-chi!” 

Kise. Or rather Ryota as they now call him. It was hard changing the way they referred to him since he’d gotten married a few years ago. Old habits die hard. It took him forever to adjust to calling her something other than “Momoi-chi” after she’d married Daiki. 

“Ryota!” She jumped on him in a big hug. He tensed for a second in surprise before melting into her hug. “How are you? How’s Yukio?” 

“I’m doing well.” 

“Hi!” Satsuki beamed. “Oh my gosh, I’ve missed you. Tell me everything. How’s life? How’s being married? How is modeling going? Why haven’t you visited us in LA?” 

“Good. Amazing. Perfect, and because he doesn’t like flying.” Ryota rolled his eyes. “He’s scared.” 

“I’m not scared! I just don’t like it,” Yukio corrected with a glare. 

“Whatever you say!” Ryota kissed his cheek. “How are you? Are you keeping Aomine-chi in line?” 

“I’m doing well.” Satsuki beamed. “And he’s behaving himself.” 

“Good.” 

They made their way to the living room, and started catching up. Slowly more and more of their friends showed up until the gang was back together, hanging out. Akashi had taken over the role of vice president at his father’s business, and things were going well. He had met a nice girl whom he had decided against bringing in case things didn’t work out. Midorima and Takao were engaged. Murasakibara’s bakery was a huge hit. Ryota and Yukio were thinking about adopting, but weren’t sure just yet because Ryota was still wanting to move to LA or NYC for a bit to get more exposure. Yukio had the opinion that Ryota was an idiot, and lying to cover up the fact that making that step made him anxious. Satsuki was bursting at the seams to tell them the good news. Everyone’s lives were so good now. It made her heart swell.

“I wish Kuro-, I mean Tetsu-chi had been able to come,” Ryota said with a sigh. 

“Traveling with a four-year-old isn’t fun. And nobody wants to be on a fourteen-hour flight with a cooped up four-year-old, especially one as rambunctious as Alex,” Daiki said with a sigh. “I get a headache just thinking about it.” 

“Yeah, and he and Kagami already know.” 

“About?” 

“The season ending,” Satsuki said quickly. She couldn’t believe she almost spilled the beans. “Since Kagami is on Daiki’s team.” 

“Oh right.”

“I trust things are going well?” Akashi asked with a smile. “I haven’t seen the kids since they first adopted Alex.”

“They’re doing very well.” Satsuki said, smoothing the bit of her dress that was visible. “I wish they could have come.” 

“No,” Daiki cut in. “They would have been on our flight. We wouldn’t have slept.”

“You could sleep through a tsunami, Dai-chan. Besides you’re so good with him, he would have stayed quiet.” 

“Aw, Aomine-chi is so good with kids.” 

“Speaking of kids, have the two of you thought about that?” Akashi asked. 

“It’s come up,” Satsuki said, taking Daiki’s hand. 

“I call dibs on being favorite uncle!” Ryota perked up. 

“That would be Tetsu,” Daiki corrected. Kise gasped, and opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by Daiki’s mother coming into the room. 

“Is everyone ready to eat?” 

Everyone piled into the dining room, and sat down while everyone was served. It was so nice having everyone in one place. Midorima kept correcting Takao and Murasakibara on table manners. Akashi had a pleasant conversation with Daiki’s mother. Satsuki was getting so antsy. The twins were going crazy with the excitement. She just wanted to see if she could feel them outside. She kept an eye out for everyone, and slipped her hand into the hoodie pocket to rest her hand against her stomach. She gasped when she felt the little thumps. She grabbed Daiki’s hand, causing him to drop his chopsticks in the process. 

“Wha-” Daiki’s eyes got huge before a giant smile made its way over his face. 

“Is everything okay?” Daiki’s mother asked.

“Yes, ma’am. Everything is perfect,” Satsuki whispered. Daiki leaned over and kissed Satsuki, letting out a soft laugh. 

“What’s going on?” Ryota asked, leaning forward expectantly. 

“Everyone, we have an announcement to make!” Satsuki grinned. 

She waited for a moment before speaking. Having everyone’s eyes on her was slightly nerve-wracking, but she needed to make this announcement. She needed the secrets to be out because it was eating her alive. It was wrong of her to ever think it was okay to keep this between the two of them. Keeping it secret put a wedge between them. Now they were healing, and she had a feeling getting everything out there would help. 

“So this is hard to say, but, uh, we’ve been trying for a baby for the last six and a half years.” She ignored the gasps and murmurs. “We’ve gone through it all. Every fertility treatment you can think of. We planned our lives around my cycles. I took so much to get pregnant. I had surgeries. And we finally did get pregnant, but I miscarried two weeks after we found out.”

Her voice broke. She tightened her grip on Daiki’s hand. He squeezed her hand back. “A, a little boy. We named his Hoshi. Eleven weeks.” 

A sob escaped her, and she buried her face in Daiki’s shoulder. He sniffled, and hugged her tighter than he’d ever hugged her before.

“You two don’t have to-” Ryota started.

“Let me do this,” Satsuki said firmly. “It’s been so hard, but, but now, now we’re going to have twins! Two little girls. I’m twenty weeks now.” The mention of their twins made her heart swell, and a smile pop onto her face. “I can finally get rid of this thing. I’m so hot.”

She pulled Daiki’s hoodie off, and the room was filled with congratulations. Satsuki stared at where their parents were. Daiki’s mom had her hands over her nose and mouth. Tears were streaming down her face. Guilt was written all over the woman’s face. Satsuki thought she’d feel some sort of satisfaction from seeing one of the people who made her feel the worst about this whole situation look so horrified and guilty. All she felt was sadness. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know. All parents pester their kids for grandchildren. Satsuki knew she and Daiki never would. They knew the pain. And in a way, it was their fault that the comments were made. She had no way of knowing. 

“I...I am so sorry,” Daiki’s mother whispered. “I didn’t know. I just feel so awful.” 

“Oka-san, it’s okay,” Satsuki said, standing up, and going to comfort her. 

“I made so many comments to you. I didn’t know.” 

Mei squeezed Satsuki tight, and sobbed into her shoulder. Tears started pouring down Satsuki’s face. She buried her face in her mother-in-law’s shoulder as well while they cried together. She started thinking maybe this way was better. She should have told them. She could have been held by a mother who knew what it was like to want and love a child. She could have found comfort in that. 

“A boy?” she said softly, pulling away. 

“Yes. We had to do genetics testing to see if there was something wrong, so we found out.” Satsuki’s voice broke. “God, we wanted a boy so much.”

“Shhh, there, there. It’s okay. Girls are much nicer. You’ll be a wonderful girl mom, Satsuki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! Please leave a comment! <3 It means the entire world to me. I put so much into my writing, and it can get a bit discouraging to not get feedback.


	16. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy~

Satsuki was so happy she and Daiki had opted to get the hotel room, more than any other time. For the first time since when they first started having sex, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Or rather Satsuki couldn’t keep herself off of Daiki. She couldn’t help it. Her hormones were driving her crazy, and the changes in her body were making sex more enjoyable. Maybe she could smell him better, and the pheromones that she ordinarily didn’t notice were wreaking havoc on her brain. She just needed him all the time. She swore orgasms were a million time better pregnant. She hoped they stayed like this, and that this was one of the permanent changes. She’d read that a lot of women, after having a baby, their first time having sex again felt much like losing their virginity. Uncomfortable and often painful. 

Thinking about that made her shudder. She’d lost hers at a drunken frat party to a guy who was just as drunk as she was. Daiki had tried to stop her all night. He didn’t want to drink underage and lose his scholarship, or mix it with his antidepressants. But she was getting so annoyed that he wouldn’t just let her have a good time, and talk to guys. She started putting alcohol in his drinks without him noticing. It was a string of bad decisions which left her having a painful, terrible first time. Daiki had been angry with her at first when he realized what she’d done to his drinks, but seeing her burst into tears seconds after coming home quickly shut him up. She never wanted to experience that again. 

The thoughts quickly melted away as she reached her climax. “Faster.” “More.” “Harder.” 

Satsuki came undone. A few more thrusts and Daiki finished as well. He rolled over, and pulled her close. He kissed her a few times before kissing her forehead. He pulled her close so that her back was pressed to his chest, and murmured a soft “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

“You sure know how to wake a man up,” Daiki laughed gently. His voice was still groggy with sleep. 

“I thought you’d like it,” Satsuki said with a smirk. 

Daiki’s hands slid over her breasts, lingering for a moment before sliding down to her stomach. He kissed the back of her neck before burying his face in the crook of her neck. He rubbed his thumb over her stomach gently. 

“It doesn’t hurt them right?” Daiki asked for a the millionth time since she’d gotten pregnant.

“No,” Satsuki smiled, lacing her fingers with his. “There’s a lot protecting them. And it helps their mama feel nice and relaxed. That makes them feel better. Besides,” she said turning to face him, “I think the endorphins would make them feel happy.”

Daiki hummed. “They’re really active this morning.” 

“They’re always going crazy.” 

“Good. They’re gonna be little athletes.” 

“You’re not gonna force anything on our kids, Aomine Daiki.” 

“Wasn’t planning on it.” He brushed her hair back. “They’re going to be perfect, Satsuki. Thank you so much.” 

“For what?” 

“Taking such good care of them. I can’t wait until I can help.” 

“You already do.”

“Satsuki?” 

“Hm?”

“What if I’m not a good enough dad?” 

Satsuki pulled away, and looked up at his face. A small frown played on his lips, and his brows were knit in concern. She kissed him gently, and laid back. 

“You’re amazing with our friends’ kids. You love kids. Our kids are going to be so blessed to have you as a dad. You’ve wanted them more than anyone. You love them so much. I think you’re going to be the best dad in the entire world. And I wouldn’t have had kids with you if I didn’t think you were going to be the best dad.” 

Daiki smiled, kissed her gently. “I’m gonna try.” 

“You will be.” 

Daiki hugged her, kissing her forehead before putting his hand on her stomach again. Satsuki watched him. His eyes sparkled, and a smile danced on his lips. He was so in love with their children already. Satsuki’s heart swelled. She wanted to fast-forward to the twins already being here. What would they look like? Who would they look like? What would they be like? She was halfway to the finish line, but it was so far and all too close at once. She was frankly terrified of the prospect of giving birth. She’d been reading up on it, and even watching videos. It was awful. But looking at Daiki now, speaking softly to their twins, she knew it’d be okay. It’d be worth it. It wouldn’t last forever, but their love for their children would last a lifetime.

“We should shower,” Daiki muttered, not making any sign of moving. 

“Yeah. The guys are waiting.”

“Wouldn’t want to make them wait.”

“We’re not here often.” 

“We should be.”

“We should.” 

“My mom has grey hairs now.” He looked her in the eye. “She didn’t have that the last time.” 

“Yeah. Mine too.” 

“I think we need to come more often, Satsuki. Especially after they’re born. Actually I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” 

Satsuki’s heart skipped a beat. She knew what he was going to say. She didn’t know how she knew, but she did. She didn’t want to move back to Japan. Ever. She missed it, sure, but Los Angeles was home now. She loved it there. She loved her job. She loved the beaches, and the shops, and how beautiful it was. Tetsu was there. Kagami was there. They were happy in LA. When they left Japan, neither of them had been particularly happy. She missed her parents, and their friends. She missed how beautiful Japan was, but it wasn’t home anymore. 

“I don’t want to.” 

“Huh?” He narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t say anything yet.” 

“You want to move back.” 

“Yeah. I mean my parents are getting older. My mom is getting older. I don’t want to spend the rest of her life away. You heard her. She misses me, us. They want grandchildren. I’m done with the season. I can just talk to the coach, and then make the announcement I’m retiring. You can get transferred here.”

“No.” Satsuki sat up, pulling the blanket around her. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to move back. I like LA. LA is our home now.”

“Satsuki-”

“And if you dare think about giving up on your dreams just because life is moving on, I’m not going to forgive you. You worked for this your whole life. And I worked hard for where I’m at. I can transfer, sure, but I won’t be in the same position, and let’s face it. It’s going to be even harder for me to climb here. No. I’m not moving back.” 

Daiki rolled his eyes. “Put that down on a list for our therapist then, I guess.” 

He got up, and walked to the bathroom. Satsuki felt like she’d been slapped. Hot tears burned in her eyes. Why? Why now? Why had he spent his whole life talking about wanting to move to America just so he could go back? And she followed him. God, she didn’t even want to leave her home, her family, her friends, everything she knew, but she followed him. Because if she didn’t follow him, there was no way his mother would let him go. Satsuki wasn’t the only one who worried about his reckless behavior. 

Now he was mad. 

Satsuki didn’t know what to do. She wanted to talk to him more about this. She wanted to tell him she was sorry that she lied when she told him she’d follow him no matter what. But she wasn’t that nineteen year old girl anymore. She was a thirty year old woman who had built herself up in a company by working her ass off. She had found who she was as a person. She fell in love and married her best friend. They went through hell together. And all of that was in America. That wasn’t in Japan. Their life in Japan was a faint memory. And truth be told, Daiki would regret it. She knew him. She wouldn’t let that happen. So yes, she would put in on the list. Fuck him and his passive-aggressive comment. 

She threw the blankets aside and stormed into the bathroom. 

“I do _not _have a list.”__

__“Never said you did,” Daiki muttered, not turning to face her._ _

__“You just did.”_ _

__“Look.” He turned to face her now. “I am trying to do what you want me to do. I am. But why do you not want to listen to what I have to say?”_ _

__“Because you don’t know what you want.”_ _

__“Yes, I do.”_ _

__“No, you don’t! You never know! I know you better than anyone else, and you make these decisions, and then you’re upset later down the road. I know what you want.”_ _

__“No, you don’t! Fuck, Satsuki, I’m not a kid anymore, okay? I’m a grown ass man. I can make my own decisions. And sure, you know me better than anyone else, but you can’t read my mind. Do you even realize that you have an itemized list of things you want to air out in therapy that you won’t even talk to me about before it became an issue in your head? Do you know what it’s like to sit in that office every week to listen to shit you think I’m doing wrong, but you won’t even talk to me about? Fuck, Satsuki. You used to be so direct. And I thought, I thought we were past this bullshit. I thought we were going to therapy because of the miscarriage and the fertility issues. I didn’t know we were going so you could rip me apart. But I go. I go because I want to fix things. You say all this about me, but you’re not as mature as you think, Satsuki, and that’s the goddamn truth._ _

__“And another thing. We’re going to be parents, and that has made me think a lot about myself and who I used to be, who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. And I wasn’t the best son. I wasn’t. And I want to be better. I want to finally make up for all the shit I gave her, Satsuki. I just want to come back, and be here in case she needs me, okay? I was a shitty person for a while, and I don’t like that, but I cannot change that. So I’m trying. I’m trying to make sure everything is patched up with us. I’m making changes to be who I want to be. We change. We grow. I want to make up for all the worry, and heartache, and tears I gave my mother. So why can’t you just-Never mind. I’ll save it all for therapy because apparently that’s how we talk about things right now.”_ _

__Satsuki stared at him. She hadn’t expected that. It wasn’t like he was wrong. He wasn’t. She wasn’t working on herself as much as he was working on himself. But that didn’t matter. He had no right to talk to her that way. There was so much she wanted to say._ _

__“Boys always love their moms,” she said softly. “Even more than their wives or their girlfriends.”_ _

__“It’s not like that,” Daiki rolled his eyes. “It’s just...it’s different. And I want to be a good son, okay?”_ _

__“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start a fight, Daiki,” Satsuki hugged herself. “I was just hurt that you’d say something like that.”_ _

__“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean it like that. Just meant it was something to talk about. We’re supposed to be fixing all of this, right? I want these two coming into this world with their parents in a great place.” He pulled her into a hug. “Girls love their dads, Satsuki. More than their boyfriends and husbands.”_ _

__*****_ _

__Satsuki had planned this whole thing while Daiki had talked to his parents. Frankly Daiki wanted this trip to be more of a family thing, but with Satsuki things were never that easy. She was like Daiki’s mother in a way. Always needed to come up with fun excursions. He could never escape dinners and get togethers. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see his friends back in Japan. It was that they had just told their parents they were expecting. They got to see the guys. Everyone was busy. Everyone had stuff to do. Life was going._ _

__In reality it didn’t make sense that they were still all so close. Really the friendships had fizzled out by the time they were starting high school, but here they were. Satsuki was the one to thank for that. She kept everyone in touch. She made sure that she organized get togethers, most of them having to do with basketball which at times Daiki was sure was the only thing they had in common anymore. But Satsuki insisted. She had this dream of them being best friends forever, and god dammit that was what she was going to do. Daiki didn’t care. He just wanted to enjoy his week in Japan. So they were going to have a quick get together at the park before having dinner._ _

__And of course Satsuki was having them meet up at the hotel room first._ _

__A knock on the door woke him up from his nap. He was exhausted from their morning, and just wanted to sleep. Plus he was still jet-lagged. He hadn’t had time to rest up. And Satsuki was restless. He thought she’d be tired too. She had been napping with him when she was home for a bit, but apparently growing twins wasn’t affecting her as much. He tried to stay pretending to sleep, but Satsuki threw a pillow at him as she waltzed across their room to the door._ _

__“You’re rested enough,” she said firmly. “We need to talk to our friends now.”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah,” he said, throwing his arm over his eyes._ _

__“Satsuki-chi! Ah! Look at your little bump! Yukio isn’t she so cute? You look so cute!” Ryota was going on. “Are they moving? Can I feel?”_ _

__“Give her a minute, Ryota,” Yukio scolded. “You do look very nice, Satsuki.”_ _

__Satsuki, now satisfied that the secret was out, was showing off her bump in a cute maternity blouse. Daiki thought she looked perfect in it. She’d wanted that moment for the longest time. He was surprised they were able to hide it for so long. Satsuki had always been a very thin girl, so she started showing a lot sooner than expected, and a lot more than expected. Even feeling the movements was earlier than thought. She was obvious now. Popped overnight right at twenty weeks. It was pretty damn cute._ _

__“They’re always moving,” Satsuki giggled, stepping aside so the two men could come in. “Put your things down, and you can feel.”_ _

__Daiki rolled his eyes. And so it began. He wanted to be the one feeling them all the time. Not anyone else. And definitely not Ryota. He’d always had a hard time compromising when it came to his friend. He knew he was being greedy. He knew this was only for a week, and not even that full week. But they had gone through years of not being able to conceive. He was sure his feelings would have been different had it gone as planned. But it hadn’t. His feelings might not be rational, but they were his feelings god dammit._ _

__“Aomine-chi! How are you?” Ryota asked._ _

__“‘M fine.”_ _

__“He’s being grumpy because I won’t let him sleep.” Satsuki winked._ _

__“Ooooh, lucky, lucky,” Ryota said with a laugh. “So the sex is going well?”_ _

__“Ryota!” Yukio slapped his arm._ _

__The corner of Daiki’s mouth twitched up in a smile. “That’s rather inappropriate, yeah?”_ _

__“I’m sorry,” Ryota apologized, still rubbing his arm._ _

__Daiki motioned for his attention before mouthing, “Amazing!” with a thumbs up. Ryota perked up, and grinned._ _

__“What did you tell him?” Satsuki spun around. “You better have said it’s amazing because it is.”_ _

__“This is too much,” Yukio muttered. He sat down in the armchair, and fixed his eyes on the television._ _

__Ryota held out his hand tentatively. “Can I feel?”_ _

__Satsuki nodded, and took his hand. She put in on her stomach, and smiled up at him. Daiki loved the way her eyes sparkled like that. She loved their children so much. It made her glow. He loved her so fucking much. Ryota’s face broke out into a huge smile._ _

__“Oh my goodness, they’re in there!”_ _

__“Yeah...good job.” Daiki smirked._ _

__“You know, I knew you two were meant to be. Always knew it.”_ _

__“Huh?” Daiki narrowed his eyes._ _

__“I was always dropping hints. I knew when Aomine-chi started liking you probably before he did. Do you remember that time we went to the mall because you wanted my fashion advice because you wanted to impress Tetsu-chi? Well I knew. And I knew that when Aomine-chi got that stuffed animal for you out of the claw machine that it wasn’t just for nothing. He loved you then just like he loves you now.” He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye._ _

__“You gave the same damn speech at the wedding.”_ _

__“Dai-chan, shut up! It’s romantic, and I love it.”_ _

__“Yeah, well I suffered for like four years in silence and this asshole didn’t think to make it obvious.”_ _

__“I didn’t want to get involved! I mean I did drop hints. It’s not my fault that you’re both stupid. Besides Aomine-chi, it would be far less romantic.”_ _

__“Like I was going to fuck our friendship up over stupid feelings,” Daiki said rolling his eyes._ _

__“I feel so bad,” Satsuki said, cuddling up to Daiki as though she was just now finding this out._ _

__“Can I ask you something?” Ryota asked sitting at the edge of the bed. “How was it?”_ _

__“What?” The couple glanced at each other._ _

__“Trying to have a baby. Was that scary? How did it all work? What did you have to do? How was you relationship.”_ _

__“Ryota, I don’t think-”_ _

__Daiki’s mouth was dry. He didn’t want to talk about it. He couldn’t. It was private. It was something only he and Satsuki were supposed to know. He didn’t want Ryota and Yukio to know they were in counselling. He didn’t want all the invasive procedures to be made public. And he sure as hell didn’t want to relive the worst six years of his life._ _

__Satsuki glanced at him before sitting up. She stared at her hands. “It was my fault.”_ _

__“It wasn’t. Satsuki.”_ _

__“It was!” She turned to look at him. “I want to tell my story, okay?”_ _

__

__“It’s not your story, Satsuki! It’s ours! And fuck, we don’t even know Yukio that well. You really want to-”_ _

__“I’m sorry. I don’t want to cause a fight. Don’t worry about it. The reason I was asking is because I was curious.” Ryota tugged on his sleeves. “You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.”_ _

__“You didn’t do anything wrong, Ryota,” Daiki muttered, pulling his knees up to his chest, now turning his attention to the television._ _

__“Fine.” Satsuki stood up. “I’m gonna tell him myself. We can go find somewhere private.”_ _

__“Satsuki, no. You’re the one who wanted to keep this all a secret. I don’t want the worst years of our life-”_ _

__“I know. And I just want to tell him, okay? I want to talk about it. I was wrong. I talked to my mom about everything the other night. It helped.”_ _

__“Whatever.” Daiki muttered. “Tell him. But Yukio’s not gonna hear it. Come on. We’ll wait for the others downstairs. We can wait at the bar.”_ _

__Yukio glanced between the three of them before slowly getting up to follow Daiki out of the room. The air between them was tense. Daiki could tell he was making this awkward. The poor guy didn’t know what he was getting himself into coming with his husband to hang out with them. He did feel bad for making it so difficult for him, but really he wasn’t going to fight Satsuki on this. It was pointless. She was a grown woman and could make her own decisions. And if it really helped her to air their dirty laundry to Ryota, then so be it. It just pissed him off. And not even Tetsu and Kagami knew. Hey, maybe they did and he just didn’t know. He wouldn’t put it past her. Still he didn’t want it aired out. He didn’t want to be looked at like that, with those knowing eyes. Satsuki had made a good decision keeping this private._ _

__“Look, if you want me to leave, I-”_ _

__“You don’t have to leave,” Daiki muttered. “It’s not your fault we don’t know you that well.”_ _

__They walked into the elevator, and Daiki leaned against the wall. He sighed, and glanced at Yukio who had his hands shoved into his pockets with his eyes glued the floor._ _

__“I’m sorry.” Daiki ran his hand through his hair._ _

__“It’s okay.” Yukio shifted. “Can I say something?”_ _

__“Sure,” Daiki sighed._ _

__“For what it’s worth, I think I’m on your side. That just seems so difficult. Like it was between the two of you for six years. There are things between Ryota and I that I would never want anyone to know. Sometimes the dark needs to stay dark, ya know?”_ _

__Daiki had to bite his tongue. He wanted to defend Satsuki, but at the same time Yukio was right._ _

__“Yeah, well…” he shrugged. “Satsuki is an amazing woman. I love her to death. We don’t always see eye to eye, but that’s why I love her. She’s willing to fight me on things, and set me straight. But god, sometimes she drives me up a wall. This was her idea to keep it a secret, you know? And if it helps her talk about it, I guess I’ll support it, but I refuse to go through it again. And I refuse to let anyone we’re not close to know.”_ _

__“Understandable.”_ _

__*****_ _

__Satsuki wiped the tears from her cheeks. Sometimes Daiki really pissed her off. He was so rude to Yukio. It wasn’t right. She did understand what he was saying, but it wasn’t just his story. And Ryota asked. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell the story because the more she told it, the lighter she felt. She wanted to celebrate the fact that she was going to bring twins into the world after going through so much hardship. She just wished her husband understood._ _

__“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a fight…” Ryota frowned._ _

__“It’s fine. I don’t really care what he thinks right now.”_ _

__She rubbed her belly absently. The movement was reassuring. It meant the twins were doing well. It meant everything was going well. She needed that right now. She needed everything to be okay. Ryota sat down next to her, and pulled her into a hug. She leaned against him and let the silent tears fall down her face. How could she feel so terrible over something that wasn’t her fault? No. It was her fault. It was her fault from the beginning._ _

__“I was a slut,” Satsuki whispered._ _

__“What?” Ryota pulled away to look her in the eye. “Don’t use that word like that against yourself.”_ _

__“No, I was!” She pushed his arm away from her. “I moved to America and for the first time I was able to just let loose, you know? Explore myself. And I got drunk at parties all the time. I smoked weed a few times. And I had sex with so many guys. Daiki was so mad, and thought it was stupid. He told me to stop all the time. He told me I was going get thrown out of school or even the country if I didn’t straighten out. Well I didn’t listen. I told him to shove it. Well then I got a couple STDs. I didn’t know about it for a while because I didn’t get symptoms, but I had my annual check, and they noticed some stuff. I got tested, and took antibiotics and I was fine._ _

__Daiki and I started dating. We had sex, and a couple times we freaked out because there was an issue with the condom, and once we thought because I was on birth control, it would be okay to not use a condom when we ran out. We got married, and for our first year anniversary he asked me if we could just stop using birth control in general. Not try for a baby per se, but not try to not have one. So that’s what we did. For a year. And nothing happened. Not even a maybe. So we spent a year actively trying. I was keeping track of my cycle. Nothing. So we got help. The doctor thought maybe because I wasn’t treated that I could have been affected by the diseases. Daiki thinks it’s bullshit, but six years of trying and nothing? It had to be._ _

__We went through everything. I was even sticking hormone suppositories in my ass. I had eggs harvested. He had sperm taken. They tried artificial insemination even though Daiki’s sperm were fine. We tried IVF a few times. And then they found that I had developed fibroids. And we were so hopeful the surgery would work. And it did! We finally got pregnant, but I miscarried, and things fell apart. I almost left Daiki because all I could think about was how it was my fault. That I was the one who went crazy at eighteen. I was the reason he wasn’t going to be a dad._ _

__Ryota, you should have seen him! His eyes that day he asked me were so full of hope. They were sparkling, and he was smiling so wide. He was so excited. He’s always been good with kids. Always wanted to be a dad. I never thought about it. And I want to give him children. So I thought he deserved to have kids. He deserved to be a dad. So I was gonna leave. But he stopped me. I didn’t feel close to him, but he felt closer to me. We weren’t in sync anymore for the first time in our lives. I didn’t know what to do, so now we’re in marriage counselling and as you can see, it’s still a work in progress.”_ _

__Satsuki wiped her eyes, and pulled her gaze from the floor to look at Ryota. He was watching her calmly, his hands folded in his lap._ _

__“So, so I don’t know. But we’re trying. And I love him so much, and he loves me, and we’re having twins. I just feel close to him now, you know? But this morning we got in a fight because he wants to quit playing, and move back, and raise our kids here. But I don’t want to. Japan is where I was born. It’s where I grew up. But Los Angeles is home. And now this. I just am scared it’s going to one day be too much.”_ _

__“Well…” Ryota ventured. “I think if anyone can do it, it’s you and Aomine-chi. You’ve gone through the loss of a pregnancy together. You went through six years of hell together. I think that it’s reasonable to be nervous, but the concerns aren’t invalid. It’s a big deal. And the fact that you two are going to counselling is great. It shows you’re both wanting to make this work. Sometimes I think Yukio and I should try it, but I’m scared. And then he also brought up kids, but I’m worried. I know it’s not like your situation, but I do understand some of it, Satsuki-chi.”_ _

__“Thank you.” She hugged him tight. “I’m sorry that was so quick. I just didn’t know what else to say.”_ _

__Satsuki jumped at her phone buzzing. She picked it up and saw a text from Daiki._ _

___Everyone’s here if you’re done airing out the laundry. 🙄_ _ _

__She glared at her phone. She wanted to slap him. Asshole._ _

___Stop being a dick._ _ _

__“The guys are here.” She stood up. “And Ryota, I’m gonna need you to take Tetsu’s place as my gay best friend right now, okay?”_ _

__“I thought I already was?” He pouted playfully._ _

__“Obviously.” She beamed. “But Daiki’s still being a jerk. So I’m gonna just lean on you more until he gets his act together.”_ _

__“Definitely.” Ryota smiled, throwing his arm over her shoulder. “Aomine-chi is just sad. It’s okay.”_ _

__“It really pisses me off that he reacts to being sad with being rude…”_ _

__*****_ _

__Satsuki walked alongside Ryota, arms linked. She refused to acknowledge Daiki for the time being without making it obvious to their friends she was angry with him. Daiki kept glancing at her with his eyes narrowed. How was she going to be mad at him when she was the one-._ _

__No. No, he was trying to work on himself. He wanted to be a better friend, husband, and father. He was trying not to blame other people. The problem wasn’t Satsuki. Well it was, but only part of the problem. The real issue was that he could have been nicer to her. He didn’t have to talk to her like that. It was rude. And he didn’t need to text her the way he had. He was mad. He was upset. But he wasn’t blameless. It made his stomach twist uncomfortably. It wasn’t a good feeling admitting you were wrong. It was easier to just get mad and blame everyone else. It was wrong and it wasn’t fair. Satsuki deserved better._ _

__“Oi, Satsuki,” he called to where she up at the front of the group. She suddenly started being wrapped up in a conversation with Ryota. He rolled his eyes. She was acting like a child._ _

__“Mine-chin, what did you do?” Murasakibara asked._ _

__“Misspoke,” he muttered, shoving his hand deeper into his pockets._ _

__“That’s not like Sa-chin.’_ _

__“She’s pregnant.” He sighed. “It makes her more stubborn than ever. And moody. And emotional. I’m trying.”_ _

__“Just apologize,” Midorima told him firmly. “You’re having children. They don’t need to be raised by children.”_ _

__“I was going to, but I don’t want to do it in front of you idiots.”_ _

__“Maybe that’s what she wants.”_ _

__“Excuse me! Excuse me!” a group of little kids were calling, running toward them. They couldn’t have been more than twelve._ _

__Daiki bit his cheeks, glancing at Satsuki who was giggling, and letting Ryota put his hands all over her bump. That was his job. He wanted to be feeling the twins moving. But no. Satsuki had to make a show out of being mad. It was ridiculous. He took a deep breath and turned back to the kids._ _

__“Um, um, are you Aomine Daiki?”_ _

__“I sure am,” he smiled, crouching down. “What are your names?” The kids excitedly introduced themselves._ _

__“Can we have your autograph?”_ _

__“Of course.”_ _

__Daiki held out his hands for whatever they wanted signed, which ended up being their basketball, a piece of paper, and two of them were wearing his jersey. He was used to this back in LA, but not in Japan. He couldn’t help but think of himself as a kid seeing people like himself playing professionally. Representation mattered. There wasn’t any in the NBA when he was younger. Now there were two of them. That must be amazing._ _

__“Can you play basketball with us, please?”_ _

__“Yeah, just one game.”_ _

__Daiki glanced at his friends. They were planning on playing anyway because that’s what Satsuki had set up before getting dinner. He didn’t want to say no. Everyone nodded with a smile._ _

__And so the game began._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! It means so much. Please comment. Give me validation. Please? <3


	17. Weigtless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it's been a while. I was just really discouraged, and unmotivated. It's just been hard getting so excited with little appreciation, but I'm back! I'm gonna finish this no matter what because they deserve it. 
> 
> Everyone who's supported me, I love you so much, and I am so sorry.

Riko stared across the table at Satsuki in shock. Her hands were clasped over her mouth and nose, and tears shined in her eyes. Satsuki took a sip of her coffee to hold back the smile. This was the validation she’d hoped for from Daiki’s mother’s reaction that she didn’t feel. But now, staring at her friend, she felt smug. She was happy she was horrified. Riko had made more comments over the years than Satsuki could count. None of them were meant to be malicious, but still. The pain and the hurt were real. During one of Satsuki’s weakest points, Riko had talked to her about how she was probably going to be “one of those bitches that is skinny with a cute bump the whole pregnancy.” Satsuki had cried all night after that. Riko had a shirt that said, “I can grow humans. What’s your superpower?” And she wore it all the time while she was pregnant. It hurt. And after the miscarriage…

Satsuki was happy. 

“I had no idea…” Riko whispered. “I said so many things. I wasn’t meaning to be rude or insensitive.” 

“I know.” Satsuki was short. She didn’t really feel like consoling her friend right now. “But what’s done is done, and we’re having twins! You know what makes me really happy? I’ve finally made it to twenty-three weeks! They’ll be okay if I have to deliver early, isn’t that amazing? They can go to the NICU. I really don’t want that to happen obviously, but I did miscarry, so…” She shrugged. “It’s just nice to know.” 

“Yeah…” Riko breathed. “I can’t even imagine.” She drummed her fingers on the table uncomfortably. “So you two come up with names yet?” 

Satsuki shook her head. “We agreed no names until I get to twenty-three weeks, so we’re just now getting into the naming territory. I like Akari for one of them.” 

“That’s really pretty.” Riko smiled. 

“Thank you. But like I said, I don’t know if we’ll use the name or not.”

“Just tell Daiki that you’re the one going through it all, so you’re going to use whatever name you liked. Worked on Junpei.” 

“I want us to do this together,” Satsuki rebutted. 

Satsuki didn’t understand this. She didn’t get why people used that tactic. Was pregnancy hard? Did it suck? Yes. Your back aches. You’re constantly hungry. Your ankles and feet swell and hurt. You have to pee every five minutes. You get constipated. You feel tired and nauseous. There were a lot of bad things about pregnancy. But there were so much that was amazing about it. Watching your belly grow with your baby. Feeling them move. Falling so in love with a person you don’t even know. Getting closer to your husband. It was all so amazing, so she didn’t see why people made their partners out to be the the worst.

“Suit yourself.” Riko leaned back. “But trust me, use this to your advantage. Once those puppies come out, your husband isn’t nearly as apt to do things for you.” 

“That’s Junpei maybe. Not Daiki.” Satsuki took a deep breath. “Look, Daiki was the one who wanted kids first. He asked me to have kids. That’s what started all of this. Not me. I was indifferent to kids before then. I didn’t particularly want them, nor did I not want them. It was more like if I did, great. If I didn’t, great. Either way was fine by me. Daiki always wanted them. It didn’t matter to me when we started dating. But that day he asked me if we could start trying, I was gone. All I wanted was to have Daiki’s child. I’d give everything up for that. And it didn’t happen.” 

“Sorry,” Riko mumbled, resting her chin on her arms. 

“It’s not your fault, Riko,” Satsuki smiled. “Do you want to get dessert? I’m craving pastries.” 

*****

Daiki’s announcement to his teammates was nothing less than casual. They were just getting changed, and someone asked him why he was so smiley, so he told them. Satsuki was twenty-three weeks! How could he not be happy? They’d hit the point of viability. It was like the second bump in the road to smooth sailing. They’d gotten past the first trimester healthy, and now they were at viability. Satsuki and the twins were doing amazing. Now was the best time. They could finally talk about names, shop around for the girls, and get started on transforming the office back to a nursery. It was all exciting things on the horizon. 

“Damn, Aomine, that wife of yours is so hot, and you’re gonna do that to her?” One of his teammates shook his head. “Mm, mm, mm...I don’t get it. Ruining that tight body of hers.” 

Daiki gave him a death glare, and the man held his hands up in surrender. He hated the way his teammates talked about her. It was how people talked about her for years. Like she was just some piece of meat. She wasn’t. She was Satsuki. _Satsuki _. She was the most beautiful woman in the world, that was true, but she had the kindest heart. She had the most patience of anyone he’d ever known. She was a true ride or die. There were plenty of time she could have straight up murdered him in cold blood, but didn’t. Satsuki was one of the smartest people Daiki knew, and she could calculate things in mere seconds. And if they knew her game sense...__

__“You said twin girls?” Another teammate asked. “My girlfriend and I have two girls, you know. It’s really scary, but really fun too. Just a fair warning, they’re gonna have you wrapped around their little finger the second they take their first breath.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Daiki said with a smile. “Satsuki and I were hoping for a boy, but girls are just as special.”_ _

__“You have Kagami’s boys, right? They’re your godsons, yeah?”_ _

__Daiki nodded. “It’s not the same though.”_ _

__“You’re gonna be such a sap. Watch, Aomine is gonna turn into a softy.”_ _

__The locker room filled with a resounding “awwww.” Daiki laughed, and shook his head. He had never thought he’d receive this much support over the twins. It was nice. He wouldn’t say that he was particularly close with his teammates. They weren’t friends. He never went with them to bars or after parties. The best thing to him was going home to Satsuki. Kagami was the only one he did anything with, but that was partly only because he didn’t have to stumble his way through English with him. It wasn’t like he moved to America thinking that he was going to make his best rival his best friend, but here they were._ _

__“You know it’s so great because we’d been trying for six years. If I didn’t have this job, I don’t know how we could have afforded everything. It makes the twins really special, you know?” Aomine said quietly. “So that’s why,” he cleared his throat, “that’s why this is gonna be my last season.”_ _

__“Dude….”_ _

__“Aomine, no…”_ _

__“What? Why?”_ _

__“You can’t bro…”_ _

__He swallowed hard, and turned to face his locker. He’d spent his whole life working for this. All he wanted since he was a little kid was to go pro. He did it. He was an MVP, and rookie of the year. Teams had fought over him. It was everything he wanted. When he and Satsuki had thought about having kids in the first place, it hadn’t been something he’d even think about quitting. But after six years of trying everything and being so desperate with their hands stretching out and brushing fingertips with being parents only to fail every time, when they finally grabbed that hand, he didn’t want to let go._ _

__“You didn’t tell me…” Kagami muttered._ _

__“Yeah, well…” Aomine shrugged. “If it makes you feel any better I haven’t told Satsuki either.”_ _

__“You what? You know this was the only reason she agreed to move out here.”_ _

__“We weren’t even together then, Kagami! She didn’t even have any feelings for me then.” He rolled his eyes, shoving his stuff into his bag. “Just...I’m taking time to digest it, okay? She was always my biggest supporter. We just want to spend as much time with our kids as we can.”_ _

__“Is Satsuki quitting her job?” one of the guys asked._ _

__“Satsuki? Nah. That woman would go stir crazy. I, on the other hand, do not mind not having to work.”_ _

__*****_ _

__Satsuki couldn’t get Daiki playing with those kids out of his mind. He scooped kids up, spinning them around while they laughed like crazy. He showed them fun plays, and by the end of it all the kids were beaming. She rubbed her stomach absently thinking about how they were going to be the luckiest kids in the whole world. Daiki loved kids who he didn’t even know, and was so good with them. She could only imagine what he was going to be like as a father. She wanted to see it. She couldn’t wait until the twins were born._ _

__Letting her coworkers know she was expecting had been exciting, and liberating. They wanted to throw her a party, and insisted on a baby shower. And they now knew why she was getting so distracted in meetings, and running to the bathroom so much. Her secretary said she was relieved to know it wasn’t something more serious. She had been getting worried. Others said that they had had suspicions that she’d been pregnant, but didn’t want to pry._ _

__It felt weird putting everything out there. Everyone in their lives finally knew about the twins. It wasn’t this secret between her and Daiki anymore. After keeping it to themselves for so long, it felt like they could take a breath of fresh air, but at the same time it felt like something had been taken from them. It was a myriad of emotions. Everyone had a million questions which was honestly overwhelming. Her parents and Daiki’s parents called every night. Ryota insisted on texting her every five seconds about cute baby stuff. Even Midorin would send her small words of medical advice here and there. Akashi always checked in. Riko was now blowing up her phone with tips, and offering to help out. Her coworkers were starting to treat her as though she was disabled. Everything was just so overwhelming. She could barely hear herself think which was why when Daiki showed up to pick her up from work a little early, she had never left work so fast in her life._ _

__“So, you wanna go shopping for the twins?” Daiki asked putting the car into gear._ _

__“Food first.”_ _

__“God, I love you,” he muttered._ _

__Satsuki laughed. Daiki had loved the new development in her appetite. They were now both eternally hungry, and her wanting to get out meant that they were eating well. Only the best of LA for them as Daiki put it, only in reality it was just hitting up every pizza, burger, and steakhouse, and every place in Little Tokyo because the best of LA was overpriced snacks on a plate with “garnish.” No thank you. They both had to EAT. Satsuki’s current obsession was chicken wings. She was experimenting with every flavor, even the spicy ones which was weird since she could never handle anything spicy to save her life. Pregnancy was weird like that. But the heartburn was _real.__ _

__She leaned back, and rubbed her stomach in habit. The twins were getting stronger and stronger every day, and their current favorite thing to do was apparently play soccer with her organs. Daiki glanced at her over his fork full of loaded fries._ _

__“You okay?”_ _

__She smiled and nodded. “Your children are just playing with my organs is all.”_ _

__“Well that’s not very nice,” he said with a frown._ _

__“They’re babies. What am I supposed to do?”_ _

__Daiki glanced around, and leaned in, gesturing for Satsuki to come to him. She sighed, rolled her eyes and leaned in._ _

__“Tell them if they don’t stop, they’re not getting dessert.”_ _

__“Dai-chan!” Satsuki gasped. “But I want dessert.”_ _

__“Oh you can have it. Just not what they’re telling you they want.” He smirked, and leaned back in his chair._ _

__“You’re really proud of yourself, aren’t you?”_ _

__“What can I say? I have good ideas.”_ _

__“Hardly…” Satsuki rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help but smile. It was cute._ _

__In the end, the twins did get what they wanted. Satsuki wasn’t strong enough to resist the urge for the massive lava cake. She didn’t share a single bite with Daiki, lord knows he tried. But it was three against one. He didn’t stand a chance, so he fiddled on his phone waiting for her to finish._ _

__“Now are you ready to go shopping?” he laughed._ _

__“God, no. I need a nap.”_ _

__“Big. Fucking. Mood.”_ _

__“Let’s go.” Satsuki smiled holding her hands out to Daiki so he could help her up. She wasn’t even big enough to need the help, but after she stuffed herself with food, there wasn’t much room left for bending._ _

__They walked hand in hand to the car. Daiki had his eyes up at the sky. The sun was long gone, and the stars were coming out. The light pollution in LA tended to block most of them out, but it made the ones that came through a little more special. He glanced at Satsuki, and rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand._ _

__“I’m gonna retire.” He didn’t take his eyes off the sky. “I thought a lot about it, and I don’t want to spend time away from them. I don’t want them growing up in the spotlight with articles written about them.”_ _

__Satsuki stopped walked. He glanced back at her. She was trembling with what she didn’t know. She felt a lump rising in her throat, and tears blurred her vision._ _

__“No, you’re not.”_ _

__“Satsuki-”_ _

__“No!” she shouted. “No! Because, because I watched you suffer before from not playing. You got into fights for being benched. You worked your ass off to get where you are, and you’re gonna quit after only a few years? No. No.” She shook her head fervently. “I’m not gonna let you do that.”_ _

__“Did you not hear what I just said?” Daiki narrowed his eyes at her._ _

__“Does paparazzi follow you around, Daiki? Do you really think you’re some superstar? I think I’ve seen a random photo of us like maybe twice. The most you get is after you play. They’ll be fine, but I don’t think you will be.”_ _

__“Satsuki-”_ _

__“Don’t. Please. Don’t.”_ _

__“Why can’t I just-”_ _

__“You just got renewed for another season.”_ _

__“I can quit.”_ _

__“Please no.”_ _

__“Dammit, Satsuki…” Daiki sighed._ _

__He pulled her into a hug, and kissed her head. She cried softly into his chest. She was scared. That’s what this was. She was so scared for him to go back into that darkness. She never wanted to see that again. He promised her he never would, but the last time he quit…_ _

__“We can talk later, okay? After a nice long nap.”_ _

__Satsuki nodded, but didn’t move. Her mind was elsewhere._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please, please comment!


	18. Be Prepared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized how much I missed writing this, so here's a quick update! <3

Daiki couldn’t get over how small baby clothes were. They could practically fit in his hand. They were going to have a baby that small! He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He just stared at the little onesies wondering how anything could fit into that. He tried to remember back to when Alex was a baby. Had he ever been that small? But he hadn’t been a newborn. He was nine months old when they got him. In a few short months they would have the twins. In a few short months, they would fit in these tiny, tiny clothes. 

“Do you like those?” Satsuki asked, hugging his arm, breaking him out of his trance. “They’re so cute.” 

“Yeah…” he breathed. “Hey, do you think they have like baby Jordans stuff?” 

“Pft, probably,” Satsuki rolled her eyes. “But we are not doing that. It’s expensive. They’ll poop or barf on it, and then by the time we wash it, boom, doesn’t fit.” 

“You think it’s gonna take us that long to do laundry?” 

Satsuki rolled her eyes again, and snatched the onesies out of his hand, tossing them in the basket. “I’m saying babies grow really fast. I don’t think it’s wise to spend a lot of money on clothes right now until they get older. Plus we’re gonna have stuff from our friends and family. I’m thinking we still stock up on diapers because we will go through those in no time.” 

“Do they really poop that much?” 

Satsuki laughed, and patted him on the back. “So much. And I’ll be breastfeeding, so it’ll be loose and watery.” 

Daiki’s stomach twisted, and he made a face. He really couldn’t remember much from when Alex was a baby. And again, he was nine months old when they got him. Newborns were a new territory. He wasn’t sure how Satsuki knew so much, but he assumed she was doing research. That’s how she was. Knowing her she probably had folders full of data about babies. 

“Oh! That’s another thing. We should probably get a can of formula. Just in case it takes a bit for my milk to come in. I don’t want them starving, and getting dehydrated. They’ll end up in the hospital for jaundice, and that is not going to happen.”

“Wait? What? Hospital? What’s jaundice?” 

“You know, that thing when babies turn yellow?”

“They turn _yellow_?!” 

Satsuki just laughed, and grabbed the cart. Daiki stood there staring at the wall of baby clothes trying to process everything she had just said. They had spent six years trying for a baby. He thought he was prepared. But in that moment he realized there was just so much he didn’t know, so much he wasn’t prepared for. Satsuki was twenty-four weeks now. He didn’t have a lot of time to learn everything. He felt so far behind. What if he didn’t know something, and Satsuki wasn’t there? He didn’t want to miss something important like jaundice. Was it bad? Why did they have it? It didn’t make sense. 

His mind was on overdrive. He didn’t like to read. He’d have to find a bunch of audiobooks, and watch videos. Dear god, how did he even find the right ones? What if he found the wrong ones, and didn’t learn anything? He’d never been around a newborn before. Could he break them? What happened right after they were born? 

He and Satsuki watched a lot of birthing videos that had them cringing, and hiding their faces over the last six years. They learned a lot about pregnancy, labor, delivery. It was so focused on Satsuki. They’d never even taken the time to think about learning about the baby. Well...Daiki hadn’t. Satsuki knew everything.

“You coming?” 

“Uh, yeah…”

Daiki followed after Satsuki still mulling over everything. They’d be parents so soon. _Parents._ After six years of trying, they were going to be parents seven years later. How did he feel so unprepared? He could every form of fertility treatments they’d had to go through in detail. He could name the drugs Satsuki had to take, and how to recognize side effects. He knew what the allergic reactions were. He knew every trick in every book of every culture of someone having an idea on how to increase fertility. He knew more than he’d ever cared to know about reproductive organs, and the taste of disgusting drinks that were supposed to help them get pregnant. And aside from the videos of people giving birth that he and Satsuki watched, he really didn’t know much about the whole process, or even what his role in all of that was supposed to be. Did he have time to learn? Was Satsuki even interested in classes? Was that an option? Because if it was, he would show up with a notebook and a sharpened pencil to take notes. He’d been the most astute person in the world if they took a class. 

“Hey, uh, are we doing any classes or anything?” He rubbed the back of his head, glancing around. 

Satsuki pulled her mouth to the side for a moment before looking at him. “Do you want to?” 

He shrugged. “I just feel like I don’t know anything. I just want to be prepared. I want to be the best I can for them and you.” 

She smiled, and rested her elbow on the basket handle, and held her chin. Daiki watched her, shifting his weight back and forth. Did she think he was stupid? Probably. But he was. But at least he was asking, right? She couldn’t fault him for that. 

“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay. I’ll see what they have around. We don’t want to go to one of those weird crunchy parents groups.” She made a face. 

“Crunchy?” He narrowed his eyes. 

“They’re crazy. Trust me. They basically are preparing their child to die.” She shrugged. “Because essential oils and vegetables are the answer to cancer. Oh, and their kids are perfectly legally able to just bring back basically eradicated diseases because the parents are too stupid to understand science.” 

Daiki blinked. “They shouldn’t be allowed to have children.” He shook his head, and kicked on the cart. “You know that pisses me off. People who are doing that bullshit have kids so easily, and then people like us who have given everything to have a kid and just want to protect them have to worry about yet another thing.”

“Me too,” Satsuki muttered. “It’s a good thing we’re speaking Japanese because it’s LA, and they’re even more prevalent here.” 

“So when are we moving?” 

*****

Satsuki sat on the floor with her laptop searching for birthing and parenting classes while Daiki put together the cribs. They opted to keep the walls the same soft mint, and maybe add pink trim. Daiki wasn’t really a fan of having to go back and paint everything, but whatever Satsuki wanted, he was willing to do. She loved how much he spoiled her nowadays. The twins were going crazy. Satsuki rubbed her belly absently with one hand while she scoured the internet with the other. Never in her wildest dreams had Satsuki ever dreamt that there would be so many different kinds of childbirth and parenting classes. It was overwhelming, adding it to the ever growing list of things that were overwhelming. She had to stop to take a break before her head exploded. 

“Did you know there are classes where you can teach babies sign language?” 

Daiki glanced up from where he was kneeling, a few screws pinched between his lips. “Huh?”

“Yeah. There’s a class where you can learn signs to teach babies. Apparently it helps them communicate before they’re able to speak, so they don’t melt down as much.” 

Daiki nodded, taking one of the screws, and putting it in the matching hole. She waited for a moment for a reply. He was working so hard on this, all his energy was probably going on that, and not on what she was saying. Typical men with their selective hearing. She rolled her eyes. 

“So should we go?” 

He shrugged, and took the screws out of his mouth. “I don’t know, Satsuki. I’m just trying to focus on this.” 

Bingo. 

“Well you’re the one who asked me about classes. I was perfectly fine reading about it.” 

“Yeah, and I don’t know what to read, or even if I’d comprehend half of that. English is confusing,” he muttered. 

“I can find you some in Japanese you know.” Satsuki covered a yawn. “Do you want me to get you some?” 

“Not if we’re going to a class.” 

“Those are gonna be in English too, babe.” 

Daiki rolled his eyes, and went back to work. Satsuki laughed softly to herself. She watched him a moment longer before stretching her hand out to him. 

“Come here. The babies are moving like crazy.” 

Daiki’s eyes lit up, and he set everything down before walking across the room. A swift kick, perfectly placed pushed Satsuki’s laptop out of her lap. She covered her mouth, laughing. 

“I guess she didn’t like that!” 

“That...that was one of the girls?” he asked sitting next to her.

“Yeah.” Satsuki smiled up at him.

“Wow…” Daiki shook his head, and leaned down to kiss her. “Doesn’t that hurt?” 

He rested his hand on her stomach, a lopsided smile on his face. Satsuki studied him for a moment. His eyes were shining with so much love, and there was so much joy mixed with it. She kissed him softly. 

“Only when they’re hitting my organs or ribs. When it’s out, it doesn’t hurt.” 

“Ah…” 

“I like Akari for one,” Satsuki said, laying her head against his shoulder. 

“Akari?” She nodded. “Hm, I like it.” 

“Really?” Satsuki beamed up at him. 

“Yeah. It’s a good name.”

“Do you have any names you like?” 

Daiki shrugged. “I honestly haven’t thought about it.” 

“Yeah, right.” 

“No, seriously. I know that’s dumb, but I just have been so focused on actually getting you pregnant that I just didn’t even think about things like names. Plus I thought you’d probably have everything figured out like you always do.” 

He rubbed his thumb on her belly, not taking his eyes away from it. She wanted to read his mind then. What was he thinking? What was he feeling? There were so many questions running through his head that she wasn’t sure if he’d actually ask, but that she wanted to answer. There were times she could see right through him, then there were times like this where all she wanted to was to crawl into his mind. 

“I liked Sora.” Daiki mumbled quietly. 

“Sora?” 

He glanced at her. “You don’t like it?” 

“No...it’s just...I know it can be for girls too, but isn’t it more for a boy?” 

Daiki shifted, and hugged his knees. He nodded after a moment. “Yeah, no.” he shook his head. “I was meaning like, well, you know, that’s the name I liked is all.” 

Satsuki’s heart broke. That’s what he meant about her having everything figured out. She’d have a girl name. He’d have a boy name. That’s what he meant. She bit her lip, and tried to keep the tears out of her eyes. She didn’t know how to handle this. 

“We can use Sora,” she whispered. “It’s not like anyone here will know the difference. It sounds like a girls name by western standards.” 

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll think of something. Or you will.” 

“No, no, Daiki, I’m serious. Let’s name her Sora. She’s our daughter. Nobody can tell us what we can and can’t name her. So that’s it. Akari and Sora. I say we make it easy. A is Akari. B is Sora. Aomine Akari. Akari Aomine. Aomine Sora. Sora Aomine. They work well, don’t they? Rolls off the tongue.” 

Daiki laughed, and shook his head. “You put too much faith in these people over here, Satsuki.” 

“Stop!” Satsuki laughed, pushing him gently. “They’re trying.” 

“Are they though?” 

“Hush.” Satsuki rolled her eyes. “And you’re not retiring.” 

“God Satsuki, please, let’s not-”

“No. I’m serious.” She turned to face him. “My job as your best friend and as your wife is to make sure you don’t make the dumbest mistake of your life, okay? You’ll regret it if you quit. And it’s hard to come back. So, so if you want to take a season off, that’s fine. But you will go to practices with the team, and as soon as the next season comes up, you go.” 

“I don’t know if it’s that easy, Satsuki.”

“They’ll want to keep you. Just...just talk to your coach and see before you quit. And if he says no, well...well then tell me so we can talk about it okay? Please? I think this would be a huge mistake for you to just quit.”

Daiki stared at her stomach for a moment. He reached over, and tugged her shirt up. They’d been able to see the twins move on the outside now, and he was obsessed with it. She personally wasn’t a fan of seeing the stretch marks that seemed to be growing in number every day, but she did like to see the girls moving around in there. It took a bit to get used to. It was almost something out of an alien movie, but it was so amazing. She couldn’t wait until they could start making out little elbows and feet, maybe even a little hand. Maybe it was weird, but it was exciting. 

“I don’t want to miss a minute, Satsuki,” he mumbled. “During playoffs and championships, I have to be gone a lot. I have to travel. We waited for so long and we only get one shot at this, Satsuki. I...I don’t…”

She took his face in her hands. “A year. After a year, then things aren’t as fast, okay?”

“Satsuki-”

“A year. You usually are free most of the time. You have practice and games. You don’t have to go to as many PR things and interviews if you don’t want to. Take them with you. Think of it this way, with this job you can be with them most of the time. If you had another job, you’d be away a lot more, so in a way, this is better. I know we have a lot saved, and we both make a lot, but anything could happen. So, so please don’t quit.” 

Daiki sighed, and laid down. He didn’t say a word, just stared at her stomach. “Your mom is a good negotiator, so you two better learn some skills before you come out of there. She just talked me into not retiring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued support! Please leave a comment. They make my heart so happy.


	19. Parenting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to get this out! I've been juggling a lot with things. But I WILL finish this. I promise. These two have my entire heart. <3

Daiki's heart raced as he waited around after practice. He hadn't expected talking to the coach about a hiatus would make him so nervous. Satsuki was right. He wasn't ready to retire. If it was this hard to ask for a year off, then what would it be like to know he'd never step foot in that stage again be like? He shuddered at the thought. He didn't want to think about it. God dammit, this is why he kept Satsuki around. She kept him from making split decisions. Always had. But he knew if it was basketball, or his daughters, the girls would win every time. He honestly couldn't wait to meet them. He chewed his cheeks while he waited for the gym to clear. And when it finally did, he made his move. 

"Hey coach, can I talk to you about something?" Daiki asked, kicking his toe on the gym floor. 

"Sure. Shoot." The man crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at him. 

"Well see, um, my wife and I are gonna have twins, and we'd been trying for years now, so I just really wanted to be there more during their first year, so I was wondering if I could just take a year off. Satsuki's due in December. I'd like to come back the following season. I'll work hard. I promise. I'll come to as many practices during that time as I can. I just...it's important to me to be there for my girls, you know?" 

He rubbed the back of his head, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. He glanced up when his coach didn't respond. His heart skipped a beat and his stomach sank. Was that a no? To his surprise the coach seemed to be mulling it over. 

"Well with your stats, I don't see a problem with your coming back. But are you sure you want to do this? Taking care of kids is more a woman's job." 

"I don't see it that way, and I'm sure. As long as I can come back."

"Should be fine. I'll talk to the higher ups, but I think given how you play, everything will be okay. I'll let you know the answer for sure as soon as I get it. And if they say no?" 

Daiki's heart clenched. He could taste blood from how hard he bit his cheeks. "Then I'll stay." 

"Good. Have a good day. And congratulations on the kids. Fatherhood is a real blessing." 

"Yeah...thank you." 

Daiki watched him walk out of the gym. He didn't know how long he stood there. For years and years, all he'd wanted was to be in the big leagues. He wanted to move to America and play in the MBA because Japan’s wasn’t big enough. But then somewhere along the way he fell in love with his best friend. They got married. The topic of having a baby came up. And six painstaking years later everything seemed so different. The thought of being a stay at home dad had never crossed his mind. He'd never thought he'd be the primary caregiver for his kids. But for those little girls, for those little girls he'd give up the world. His teammate said that once he saw them, they'd have him wrapped around their fingers, but the truth was that they already had. It was funny how time changed your priorities.

*****

Satsuki hurried out of her meeting. She had twenty minutes to make it to her appointment. She couldn't be late or they'd boot her, and she had to make sure everything was okay. She was supposed to meet Daiki there, but she wasn't sure if that'd be possible since he had to talk to the coach after practice. He always got so distracted after something like that that he'd shoot baskets until he calmed down. But then again, he'd been so responsible now that the twins were in the picture...well responsible by his standards. 

She ignored her secretary, instead just waving at her while she responded to an email on the way out. She didn't like leaving work early. It made her feel guilty, but really all there was lately was just meetings. In her spare time she researched about her pregnancy and what to expect. That was all she did until it was time to clock out to go home. So a day leaving to go to a doctor's appointment, lunch with Daiki, and then a birthing class before dinner sounded like a dream. 

The office was a quick walk, and when Satsuki walked in, Daiki was already there reading a magazine about parenting. She smiled at the way his face was scrunched up in concentration. It was cute. He was trying so hard. She checked in quickly before going to sit down next to him. He smiled, and tossed the magazine aside. 

"Anything interesting?" 

"Not really," he said with a shrug. "Oh I talked to the coach. He said he'll talk to the higher ups, but it should be fine." 

"Great!" Satsuki beamed, leaning against him. "I'm really proud of you for everything."

"Stop," he said, shoving her gently. "You're so embarrassing." 

Satsuki giggled softly, and rested her hand on his. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of his soap. She wasn’t sure what kind they had at work, but it was amazing. She loved him post practice. He smelled good, and all the tension was gone. He was at peace. She played with his fingers while she thought about how crazy it was that they were going to be parents. After years and years of trying, and after the heartache of losing their child. They had both thought that it was over then, but it wasn’t. These two little girls had saved them. 

They had been able to spread their counseling out now. Neither wanted to leave completely just yet. They both wanted to be stronger together for their daughters. She remembered how the therapist had said that having a baby wouldn’t solve the problems, but would make it worse. Back then their problems were all surrounding the infertility. That had pushed them apart and brought them together in this weird paradox. They’d never fought so much as they did after the first three years of trying. They weren’t spats either. They were full fledged fights with things being said that could never be unsaid, and she knew in her heart of hearts that if she had been with anyone but Daiki, it wouldn’t have worked. But they’d been through everything together from the time they were four years old. The darkest days always had a spark of light with her best friend. 

“Mrs. Aomine,” the nurse called. 

The couple stood up, and followed her into the the hallway. Satsuki squeezed Daiki’s hand. He squeezed it back. Today was the day they’d get a full anatomy scan, and she’d have a glucose test to screen for diabetes. She wanted everything to be perfect. If they could get the okay that everything was going to plan, then Satsuki could breathe a sigh of relief, but she knew neither of them would let their guard down until their babies were born healthy, and they could hold them in their arms. Riko had told her that the stress never really went away. Worrying and being stressed was just part of parenthood. Satsuki knew she was right, but things were different when you suffered infertility like they had, and sure as hell when there’d been a miscarriage. Everything was scary. Every little gurgle or pain was cause for panic. 

The nurse went over the routine questions, got Satsuki’s weight, and drew a few labs before taking them into the exam room. Satsuki changed into a hospital gown, and sat on the table, swinging her legs nervously. Daiki was typing a message out on his phone, probably to his mother. She was constantly texting him. She had no concept for timezones these days. The room was so silent, the ticking of the clock seemed to echo. Neither on wanted to break the silence because they were both so nervous. 

A small knock at the door caused them both to jump. Dr. Adams walked in, and asked the same questions the nurse had just asked. Satsuki was always slightly annoyed by that practice. Did they not talk? Was there no chart? Or did they just not trust each other? No matter what the reason it was annoying, and made her wait longer than necessary. All she wanted to do was hear her babies’ hearts beat and see their little faces. She didn’t want to talk about her weight gain, or appetite, or moods, or symptoms. Everything was normal. She just wanted to get to the chase. 

Finally. Finally, she got what she wanted. She laid back with her gown up with a blanket covering her bottom half. The wand touched her stomach, and the room was filled with the most beautiful sound in the world. She didn’t care about anything else in the world. It was just her, Daiki, and their twins. That was it. Nothing else existed. The moment was so surreal, so magical. Just even the thought that she was growing tiny humans inside her was mindblowing. How did that even make sense? How could this be something that really happened? How could her and Daiki having a single intimate, emotional, and physical moment lead to something so beautiful? As if that in itself wasn’t beautiful enough. 

It was breathtaking. 

Satsuki turned to look at Daiki who was staring at the screen with sparkling wide eyes, and a warm smile. She never saw him as happy as he was when they talked about the twins, or when they had the appointments. Nothing else mattered in these moments. In those moments it was the four of them alone in a room full of love. 

*****

“How was the appointment?” Daiki’s mother. 

Daiki smiled absently. “Great. The girls are doing great. They’re growing well, right on track. Satsuki is doing great. The glucose test came back negative. Blood pressure is good. Weight gain is normal. She’s healthy. Everything is going great.”

“Oh thank god. I think about that all the time. I’m sorry. I must bother you like crazy.” 

“No, no, it’s fine. We’re excited too. Oh, we picked names. Akari and Sora. A is Akari. B is Sora.”

“Sora?” There was a long pause. “You’re having two girls right?” 

“Yeah.”

“Sora is a boy’s name, Daiki.” 

“Yeah, well…” 

Daiki shifted. Satsuki was waiting by the building their parents class was supposed to be in, drinking her smoothie. She glanced at her phone, before glancing at him. He felt bad that he was making her wait. She hated being late. And if they walked in after they’d already started the class, she’d probably die of embarrassment. 

“Well?”

“I’ll talk to you later, Mom. Satsuki and I are going to a class.” 

“A class? What kind of class?” 

“Love you, Mom. I’ll call you later if Satsuki doesn’t murder me.” 

Daiki quickly pocketed his phone, and rushed over to Satsuki who was giving him _the look_. “Sorry. I had to answer.” 

“You didn’t have to. You could have called her back. I told my mom I’d call her after.” 

“You’ve met my mom, Satsuki. She’s been blowing up my phone.” 

“We’re gonna be late.” Satsuki sipped her smoothie, and shrugged.

“Sorry…” 

Daiki rolled his eyes and walked toward the building. He wasn’t really in the mood to be sassed. Everyone was blowing up their phones because Satsuki just had to post updates online, so everyone and their mom knew when they were going to an appointment or were shopping or basically doing anything for the baby. Even though she only had close friends and family on social media, it felt like what should be special wasn’t. They’d spent six years trying for this without a soul knowing, but now everyone knew every single detail. He was thankful that she didn’t post their ultrasounds. At least that was still just between them. Satsuki didn’t see it that way. She said this way everyone saw it and she wouldn’t have to keep repeating herself. The problem with that was their parents and a few of their friends were phone people. They wanted details. Satsuki had to talk to Ryota because dear god the conversation went on for hours, and Daiki just didn’t have that much emotional energy. 

He followed Satsuki into a small room where couples were sitting at small tables where babies dolls were placed on the table. They took a seat in the back away from everyone else. Satsuki sighed, as she sat down and buried her head in her hands. Daiki rubbed his hands up and down her back. As the pregnancy progressed she was getting increasingly more uncomfortable. He could see the exhaustion on her face, and in her body. 

"You okay?" Satsuki nodded and turned to look at him with a smile. "I'm just so tired, and my back is killing me." 

"We can go." 

"No. We're already here." She rubbed her eyes, and smiled again. "Can you believe they're doing so well? Their little hearts are so strong. And did you see how Akari was sucking her thumb?" 

"Yeah, it was amazing."

"And their cute little faces!" Satsuki covered her face in utter glee. "I can't wait for them to be here." 

Daiki nodded. It had been amazing to see the 3D ultrasound. They could see the twins. They were beautiful already. Akari looked just like Daiki, while Sora looked like Satsuki. He couldn't wait to show the ultrasound to his parents. They'd absolutely freak. There was already talk of them coming to LA once Satsuki reached thirty-seven weeks, but Satsuki was adamantly against it. She wanted none of that. She even told her mother not to come. She wanted to do this by herself. She wanted to have the opportunity to breathe before their twins made their debut into the world. After the twins were born, she was open to all the help she could get, but the waiting game she wanted to just be the two of them. 

He picked up the baby doll, and stared at it. Was this how small their girls would be? It fit in his hand. The prospect was terrifying, but he knew that if a baby could go through the birthing process being squeezed that tight and being fine, well then he couldn't hurt them. Still he didn't want it to be awkward. 

He'd never been around a newborn before. What would that be like? When he'd first met Alex, he'd been about nine months old. He was already squealing, laughing, and crawling. Newborns were floppy and didn't really interact much. He knew that much. They were completely helpless. He glanced at Satsuki's belly wondering just what they looked like at twenty-eight weeks. 

What was it like growing a person inside you, feeling them move. Satsuki did it with such style and grace. It left him in awe. He knew it wasn’t comfortable. She told him as much. But she was always glowing with a smile on her face. Of course there were moments when she’d be in a bad mood from the aches and pains, but she usually only talked about the good things. She always had been a positive person. And finally he could go eat with someone other than Kagami who wasn’t going to just pick at their food. And dear god, he never thought he’d get tired of sex, but here he was. He swore she was practically insatiable. She claimed it was the best now than ever. It honestly made him feel a bit uncomfortable now that she was getting bigger. He wondered if the babies felt anything. He hoped not. Satsuki laughed at him when he voiced the concern. 

“Alright, let’s get started!” 

Daiki turned his attention to the front where an older woman was standing. She looked to be about the age of his mother, but was dressed like she was going to yoga. She insisted they go through introductions. Names, how long they’d been together, what number baby, how far along, and more. That sort of thing. It took too long. He was already feeling hungry before the class even started. He knew this was his idea, but he had a lot of stupid decisions. This was just another one on the list. 

Finally the class began. 

“Let’s get started everyone! My name is Laura. I’ll be your instructor for this class. Let’s start by going over introductions. Let’s share names, child number, and how far along you are.” 

Daiki slid down a little in his seat. He didn’t come here to introduce himself to the world. He just wanted to learn about babies. Was that so hard? Satsuki seemed excited though. Of course. This was a lot of what her job entailed. He glued his eyes to the table. 

“You two in the back?”

Satsuki straightened up and with a big smile said, “Hi! I’m Satsuki, and this is my husband Daiki. We’re expecting twins, so this is the first. Well...I mean maybe second? We had a miscarriage. Um, but yeah. I’m twenty-eight weeks! Two girls.” 

“Congratulations on the twins! And I’m so sorry for your loss.” 

“Thank you,” Satsuki said softly, glancing at Daiki. 

With introductions done, the actual class finally started. They learned how to swaddle a baby, and about safe sleep. Apparently kids were just supposed to face backward in the car until eternity for safety. Water had to be warm, but not hot or cold. Formula should never be warmed in the microwave, and should always be checked before giving it to the baby. Mixed formula was good for twenty-four hours in the refrigerator.. Fresh breast milk was good in the refrigerator for five days, but if it was thawed, only twenty-four hours. Babies slept most of the day, but had to eat every three to four hours. If they were breastfed, sometimes more often. 

It was a lot of information at once. It left his head spinning. When they finished the class, Satsuki was still chipper. All he wanted to do was take a nap. He watched her beam as she walked with a skip in her step. She hummed softly to herself. He’d missed her like this. It was until times like this that he realized just how unhappy she had been for all of those years. Finally the shell had been broken, and now he had a knew how much he’d taken her cheerful nature for granted. He just watched her. 

“Wasn’t that so amazing? I didn’t know there was so much to learn. Do you think we should get a milk warmer? And I think a warmer for the diaper wipes would be a good idea, don’t you?” She looked up at him, lacing her fingers with his. 

She was so goddamn beautiful, so perfect. How the hell did she pick him to be with? He pulled her into a hug with his free arm, and kissed the top of her head. 

“I think it’s an amazing idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment!


	20. Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so so so much for continuing to support me! I hope you're enjoying it so far. I cannot wait to get to the end of the pregnancy! Hopefully y'all will love it!

It was no secret that Daiki was a boob man. Satsuki knew that since he’d hit puberty and his dad had slid him that first magazine that fueled his adolescent years. Satsuki had always excelled in that category, but she’d never so much as seen him even catching a glimpse at hers, even when she wore bikinis those days they’d go to the beach or the pool. Back then she’d always called him a pervert over the slightest of things, even that time in middle school when he pranked her in the haunted house during that competition that was rumored to fate the winners together if they were a boy and a girl. She had so wanted to win with Tetsu, and she almost did, but it was all Daiki’s stupid fault. He’d scared her so bad, and ended up trying to console her by giving a her a tight hug. When she realized it was him, she’d pushed him away and called him a pervert. But looking back now, he had always been respectful. And he’d always been weird when real life girls hit on him. 

But since they got together, he’d all but been obsessed with hers even going so far as to sleep on her chest every single time he could. It’d been weird at first, but now it felt weird for him to just sleep next to her on a pillow. She ran her fingers through his hair thinking. His steady breathing acted as the perfect white noise to read and to think. Satsuki spent so much of her time reading books these days. She knew she wanted to breastfeed the twins, but with that came mixed feelings. In their relationship, her breasts were very sexualized. Would that make her breastfeeding be weird? Would she be able to do it? Or would it feel wrong? 

Breastmilk was the best milk for babies. That’s what all the books said, and what they’d said in the class they’d gone to. Satsuki wanted to give the girls only the best, and this was something only she could do. Nobody else could take that from her. They’d already agreed that she’d go back to work, and Daiki would be the primary caregiver. The thought of not working literally gave her anxiety, and Daiki loved the idea of essentially being a stay at home dad since his line of work wasn’t the most time consuming. She’d been all for formula. It was just as good as breastmilk. Or so she thought until the class. 

Now while she was thinking about how she’d spend so much time away from the twins once she went back to work, she worried that she’d lose that bond with them. She already was getting comments about them being daddy’s girls. _There’s a special bond betweens dads and their daughters._ If she heard that one more time she was going to scream. She was their mom. What about how moms have a special bond with her children? She’d read that moms can sense when their kids are sick or hurt even when they’re miles apart. There were countless studies on that bond. She’d even seen an article about how hearing your mother’s voice calms you. And it was so true. 

Satsuki was growing their children inside of her. They were kicking her organs and ribs. She could feel them before anyone else. She was the one going through the aches and pains of pregnancy. She was the one that was going to give birth to them. And god dammit she wanted to breastfeed them too because nobody else could do that. Nobody could tell her there wasn’t a special bond between them. She’d read countless posts with moms talking about how beautiful the moments they nursed their babies were. She wanted that. 

But as she thought about their sex life, she wondered how her mind could separate the difference. Breasts were made for feeding babies. That was their purpose. And sure there were many men who were attracted to that, but she was sure that men were attracted to breasts and asses because somewhere internally it just meant fertility and it was just a primitive survival of the species. Just that alone killed her because she sometimes felt like she’d inadvertently tricked Daiki into thinking she was when she wasn’t. She knew it wasn’t rational. She knew he’d never think as much. And even while she was thirty weeks pregnant, the plague of infertility still haunted her. Those six years would forever be a black cloud looming over their heads. 

She wasn’t sure what was going to be the verdict on breastfeeding. Worst case scenario she could try pumping. If that was too weird for her, then formula was fine. It wasn’t like she was completely opposed. She just didn’t want to feel left out. Her coworkers found it to be utterly shocking and acted horrified that she’d go back to work and leave the kids with their father rather than putting them in daycare. _Aren’t you worried to leave him alone to babysit? I’d never leave my kids with my husband, especially not a newborn!_ It took everything in her to not say, “He’s not going to babysit them, Karen. He’s their father. Why are you having kids with a man you don’t trust to be a father?”

Satsuki sighed, and put the book on the bedside table. There was no way to answer any of her questions about nursing until the twins were born and she tried it. She hoped that the maternal part of her brain switched on and she never thought about the things she and Daiki did when they had sex. Surely it wouldn’t feel weird and fucked up. 

Surely…

How could she even talk to anyone about this? She wasn’t close enough to anyone to even feel comfortable except maybe Tetsu, but he wouldn’t understand. For one he was a man, and two he was gay. He couldn’t on any level understand or relate. She could talk to Riko, but she wasn’t sure if she could get it out without turning bright red. That would be embarrassing. And she’d rather die than talk to her mother about it. How could she even bring it up to Daiki? She loved him, but god he didn’t understand so much. That was partially where their spats came from. They could talk about almost everything freely. It just came with growing up with someone, but even so there were things she couldn’t say. She was sure it was mutual. 

A swift kick in the bladder pulled her from her thoughts, and she didn’t even try to slip out from under Daiki. She’d pee herself if she tried. Just another thing she had to deal with. And people wanted to talk about the girls before they were even here. They hadn’t even picked a favorite parent. 

Daiki didn’t seem to notice her dash to the bathroom. He muttered something under his breath, and turned onto his back, eyes never opening. She stared at him from their bathroom. How could he sleep like that? How had he ever been able to sleep like that? He could fall asleep anywhere at any time. He was like a freaking cat. Did he not worry? Were there not a million thoughts racing through his head? Wasn’t he trying to keep everything straight in his mind? Especially now they’d be having the twins so soon? It didn’t make sense. 

Satsuki hadn’t been able to sleep since she was about twenty-five weeks. She’d gotten so uncomfortable. She was always tossing and turning. When she finally got comfortable and felt herself slipping off to sleep, she’d have to pee. She was so tired. And he just slept. The story of their life. 

*****

Daiki woke up to Satsuki standing over him with an angry look on her face. It wasn’t an uncommon sight, but it was by no means the best thing to see bright and early. He rubbed his eyes, muttering under his breath. 

“Mornin’.” 

“Don’t ‘mornin’’ me,” she scolded. “I woke you up an hour ago! You’re supposed to take me to work, remember? I’m gonna be late.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry, Satsuki.” 

He rubbed his eyes, and glanced at the clock. They should have left ten minutes ago. Unfortunately that meant that he’d have to just throw on a pair of sweats, a shirt, and old shoes now, and not take his time like usual. He didn’t like being woken up. He loved sleep. Satsuki apparently hated sleep because she never let him have any, and she always went to bed after him, and woke up before him. And she never even took a nap. Ever. She didn’t understand why he wanted to sleep all the time, and was always concerned when she felt like it was too much. The woman was terrified of him slipping into a remission which is why even when they were running late, she shoved his pills and a cup of water at him. 

“Aren’t we going to be late?” he grumbled taking them from her. 

“I don’t care if this makes me thirty seconds later if it means making sure you’re okay. God, Daiki, we have kids coming soon. You need to be okay.” 

Satsuki chewed her lip for a moment, all signs of anger and frustration were gone from her face only to be replaced by worry. Her brows knit together, and tears were starting to prick in them. The pregnancy hormones were making this a much bigger deal that it was. She always worried about him even when she didn’t need to.

He pulled her to him by her hips, and pressed his lips to her belly. “Good morning.” He glanced up at Satsuki. “Don’t worry. I am.”

She let out a soft laugh, and carefully wiped away her tears so as to not ruin her makeup. “God, I cry so easily these days.”

“It’s okay,” he said softly with a smile. 

“Well? What are you waiting for? Take your medicine, and let’s go.” There was none of the intended bite to her voice, but she still stormed out of the room with the same gusto she wanted. 

Daiki laughed, popped the pill in his mouth, and took a swig of water before pulling clothes on, and heading out. 

*****

Mornings in LA were beautiful. Satsuki loved watching mountains in the distance. It made her feel alive. She loved mountains. The ones here weren’t as beautiful as the ones she’d seen in Japan in her opinion. Honestly nothing she’d seen in California was as beautiful as Japan. It made her miss home. She wondered if her kids would love Japan as much as she and Daiki did. It wouldn’t be their home. She knew as much. Satsuki didn’t plan on moving back, and even though Daiki wanted to, he’d stay put if it meant making her happy. Still she wanted them to know what it was like. They’d go visit a lot. She knew that. And she knew they wanted to raise them to be bicultural. Sometimes she thought that Daiki might be right. They should move back for their kids’ sake. Then she remembered what it was like to have so much pressure put on you to conform. It wasn’t like LA where kids were encouraged to be different. Still she wondered. 

Her office window faced the San Gabriel mountains, and when she looked out the window past the steel buildings, her mind was put at ease. She could forget for a moment that she lived in the second most populous city in the US. She could think. It wasn’t like it was that different from growing up in Tokyo, but it felt different. The air was different. It wasn’t as pretty as Tokyo. But those mountains. 

She rubbed her stomach absently. The twins were throwing another one of their parties right after lunch. It made her feel like she was going to vomit most days, but today they were steering clear of her stomach. She shifted slightly, and stared down at the ever growing bump. It bounced back and forth with their movements. It was so surreal seeing them move from the outside. Sometimes they even insisted on laying to the side giving her a misshapen appearance. Daiki thought it was hilarious, but Satsuki didn’t see it that way. It almost made her cringe when it was all to one side. And it certainly didn’t feel the best. But honestly if they weren’t kicking her ribs or organs, she’d take it. 

Her email pinged, pulling her back to reality. She turned to the computer, and checked. Her heart stopped, and she slapped her hand over her mouth. The last few months she’d been working closely to find a way to better expand the company. She had brought up the idea of a possible merger with other companies being better than buying them out. Financially it made sense. They wouldn’t be spending money. Fewer people on the ground would lose the jobs, and the corporate workers could find positions within the company. The profits would merge. She believed in her heart of hearts that this was the best next step. She’d just been waiting on the go ahead from higher ups, and finally she’d been given the green light. 

She quickly jotted down the numbers of the companies to get into contact with in order to set up meetings. It was going to be long process, but she was determined to expand by the time she went on maternity leave. The company was kind enough to be giving her five months paid leave, and she had the approval to take her vacation time for an additional month. She didn’t want to start this project then be gone for six months so someone else could sweep in and steal this from under her. She needed this to be in portfolio. It was the only way she was going to reach her goals. And she needed to be an example to her daughters on how to make breakthroughs like this. Women could do as much as men. They could do it all just like men could. That had been her motto since she was little. 

She chewed her lip. She needed to read up on each company and go from there. She didn’t want a company that was completely failing, but she didn’t want one doing so well that it wouldn’t be possible to get what they wanted. It was a fine line. Anything could tip the scales in the wrong direction. She had three months to get this done. 

Daiki would hate it, but she was going to have to bring work home if she had any hope of getting everything done. She wasn’t high enough on the ladder that she’d actually handle the merge, but it was her place to set it in motion. Her career could be riding on this. Back when she’d first started at the company, she’d worked a lot after hours preparing for different projects for the company. Daiki had gotten really annoyed with it, complained all the time about how they needed time with each other. He insisted there needed to be a work life balance. That was easy for him to say. His job was completely different. The worst thing he could do would be to not get enough points which was laughable because it was him. And even if that were to happen, he’d still get paid for the game. There was no struggle for balance. 

For her, it was a dog eat dog world. If she wasn’t on her game a hundred percent, then she could end up on the curb. She had to try even harder as a woman in corporate. It was male dominated even though it was a fashion and beauty company. She had the advantage of being trilingual. Most people she worked with weren’t even bilingual. She had always been able to gather data and come up with game plans. That’s where she excelled. She worked fast, and her brain was sharp. She lived for this environment. 

Sora kicked her ribs. She inhaled sharply. 

Satsuki had never wanted kids. She’d never not wanted them either. She’d always been career driven. She liked to keep her mind going. The brain was like a muscle. If she didn’t work, she was restless. She had to have something to do. She knew she’d never be suited to be a stay at home mom, but sitting in that office with her children moving around inside of her, a pang of guilt hit her. Tears filled her eyes. They’d waited seven years to be parents. She and Daiki had been poked and prodded for years. She had got through four rounds of failed IVF. She’d gone through more procedures than she could count. She’d suffered a heartbreaking miscarriage. Her marriage had almost fallen apart. The last seven years, a baby was their main focus. The only thing that kept her sane was her work. Now they were having their twins, and she was focused on work. Could she really do it? Could she really be a mom, a wife, and a corporate working woman? 

A small choked sob escaped her. Satsuki let herself break down in a myriad of emotions. She cried for the hard marriage she’d had. She cried for the heartbreak. She cried for all of the things that could have been that weren’t. She mourned the loss of her twenties being wasted. The tears pulled the stress and guilt out of her. She cried for the heartbreak of losing her son, and mourning that they weren’t going to have a living son. She cried tears of happiness for her promotion, and the opportunity to be in charge of something greater at work. And she cried for her mother because she’d never thought she’d be pregnant without her. 

She let herself cry and cry and cry seven years’ worth of tears before she dried them away, and got to work. She’d think of how to explain it to Daiki later. For now, she needed to not waste another minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment! It keeps my going. <3


	21. Reflections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna put in how far Satsuki is in the next remaining chapters of her pregnancy! That way it's easier. She's 32 in this chapter! Yay!

Daiki hadn’t been completely thrilled when Satsuki had told him she was going to be doing a lot of work at home so she could get the merger prepared by the time the twins were born, but in the end it worked out for the better. Satsuki wasn’t staying at work late to work on it. She would be home by six. They’d eat a nice dinner and talk, and then they’d shower. It was to the point now that she needed help with washing herself with her stomach being so swollen. It added a layer of intimacy to their relationship that had never been there in the past. Then they’d lay in bed. Satsuki would take out her laptop, and get to work while he’d have quality time with the twins. Sometimes they’d mix it up with sex, but most of the time it was just Satsuki working while they hung out as a family. 

Tonight was no different. He watched Satsuki’s fingers fly across the keys, her eyes focused diligently on what she was working on. It made him so proud of her. She was so strong, so capable. She knew what she wanted, and she would stop at nothing to accomplish it. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face, and glanced at him where he was laying with his head next to her stomach. 

“How’s work?” 

“It’s fine,” Satsuki smiled. Her eyelids were drooping with each slow blink. She held her hand up over her mouth to cover a yawn.

“You look tired.” 

“I am.” 

“Let’s sleep.” 

“Daiki, I told you, I have to work.” 

“It’s after ten.”

“I have to work.” 

Daiki sighed, and turned onto his side. He pushed back Satsuki’s slip gown, and watched the twins move underneath her skin. It was so crazy how you could actually see it. It wasn’t just occasional kicks. They could see feet and hands and elbows. Her stomach would move side to side. And while it took some getting used to, Daiki was in awe. It made him fall in love with her even more. Every time he thought that he couldn’t love her anymore, something would happen, and he’d fall even harder. 

He thought back to when he was twelve and his dad gave him the talk. He’d told him that one day he’d look at Satsuki and see a woman. Back then it didn’t make sense. Satsuki wasn’t a girl. She was just Satsuki, his best friend. And one day when they were about seventeen or so, they were hanging out at the mall. Satsuki had dragged him out of bed and insisted they go shopping. They were getting lunch in the food court, and he made some stupid joke. She’d choked on her drink, and smacked him while laughing. It was in that moment, when she was just one hundred percent herself, the same Satsuki he’d always known, that he realized what his father meant. It was that moment when he’d realized he’d fallen in love with his best friend, and she was in love with Tetsu. The realization of his feelings, and the reality of the situation had been so painful. He told her he wanted to go home, and they did. He laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling until it got dark trying to figure everything out. 

If anyone had told him then that one day they’d be married, and expected twins, he would have laughed in their face because the thought that someone as perfect as Satsuki would like someone like him hadn’t made any sense. There were moments when he didn’t understand how they got to where they were. It felt like a dream at times. He was scared that one day he’d wake up and he’d be seventeen in his room again. But it never happened. This was real. This was their life. 

He set his hand on her stomach, and smiled softly when he was greeted with a small kick. He kissed her stomach gently. He couldn’t wait until they were born. He wanted to hold them. He was scared of what it would be like for them to be born though. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy for Satsuki, and he wanted to make it as easy as he could be. He never wanted her to hurt at all, but they both knew this was a necessary means. They’d have their kids and it’d all be over. Their hearts were so full he couldn’t imagine how they could fill anymore, but he knew it was going to be like how it was with Satsuki. They’d fall in love over and over and over. 

“Your children have been giving me a rough day,” Satsuki muttered, not slowing down. 

“Really now?” He turned his attention back to her belly. “And what have you two been doing?” 

“Kicking Mommy in the ribs. I swear by the time they’re born, I’m going to have bruised ribs at the least.” 

“Well that’s not very nice.”

“And my back has been killing me all day from how they’ve decided to position themselves.” 

Daiki shook his head. “You two better behave.” 

“It’s not their fault, Dai-chan,” Satsuki said smiling over her laptop. 

Daiki shrugged and kissed her belly. “They should still behave.” 

“You’re their father,” Satsuki smirked. 

Daiki let out a soft laugh. “But you’re their mom. It evens itself out.” 

Satsuki shook her head, and closed her laptop. She watched him for a moment. Daiki sat up facing her. Satsuki chewed her lip for a moment. 

“Are you scared?” She took a moment before looking at him through her eyelashes. “Like I’m excited, but it’s scary, you know? Like we’ll be responsible for these two little humans who will rely on us completely. And it’s like if we mess up, it’ll hurt them. And I’m so worried about going back to work. I don’t want to miss anything. And what if they don’t feel like I love them enough? I don’t want them to feel like that.”

“Satsuki, if you want to quit, we have more than enough money. I make good money, and we have a shit ton saved.” 

Satsuki shook her head. “No. No, I’m not cut out to be a stay at home mom. If I don’t work, I know I’ll go crazy. I love my job. I want to be that positive role model in our little girls’ lives. They’re gonna see so much that pressures them into thinking negatively about themselves, and how certain jobs aren’t for women. I want to show them that’s not true. I want them to do what they want in life with no doubts. I want to work. I’m just scared.” 

Daiki nodded slowly, absorbing everything she was saying. He moved to sit next to her, and pulled her into a tight hug. He pressed a kiss to her temple, and wrapped his arms protectively around her. All he wanted was to make her feel safe, and loved. 

“I’m scared too,” he said quietly. “I think us being scared is good because we want to do a good job. And these kids are going to be loved more than any kid around because we waited so long for them to show up. And you know you’re amazing? No matter what you do, I’ll support you, and our kids will have a strong female role model either way too. Just know you don’t have to if you don’t want to. We’re in a really fortunate position where we don’t have to worry about money. Most people can’t say that. So we’ll do this together. No matter what our kids are going to have the best life.”

“I know,” she whispered. 

*****

“Here are all the toys the kids don’t play with anymore,” Riko smiled pushing the box to Satsuki. 

“Are they disinfected?” 

“Satsuki, of course I did. You asked me to. You’re due during flu season. I wouldn’t do anything to put the girls in danger.” 

Satsuki nodded with a soft smile, rubbing her stomach absently. Riko was cleaning the house, getting rid of things their boys had grown out of. Satsuki had asked her to keep whatever she could for the twins. She and Daiki probably had way too much already, but she wanted to make sure the kids had things to play with as they got older. That’s how kids learned. Kids needed to play for brain development. They wanted to give their kids only the best. She’d been reading so much on child development, and it was fascinating, but also so nerve wracking. What if they didn’t do the right thing? What if it got too exhausting? She’d seen and heard so many parents laughing about those parenting books. Would they be like that? Was it okay? Was it right? There was just so much that went into it. She just wanted to be a good mother. 

“Thank you.” Satsuki brushed her hair behind her ear. “I’ll probably have Daiki come pick them up. I don’t want to lift much. The doctor told me to be careful.” 

“They tell you a lot of things,” Riko said with a shrug. “But if you want him to pick it up, that’s fine.”

“Riko?” 

“Hm?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course.” Riko sat down on the lid of the box. 

“You breastfed your kids right?” 

“For a little with the first, yes. Didn’t work out. My supply never came in.” 

“I see.” Satsuki pulled at her sleeves. “Well I wanted to ask you a question. I don’t want to ask my mom because I don’t think it would be appropriate. Um, was it weird for you at all?” 

“Not really. Why?” 

“Well, just, I’m worried because it’s a big part of our sex life…” Satsuki hid behind her hair as she felt her cheeks burn. “Daiki really likes them. And I’m scared that I won’t be able to breastfeed because it’ll be weird. I’m scared it would feel wrong, you know? I’m not opposed to formula. They’ll do both so we can both bond, and we can take turns, but I really want to give them breast milk, preferably from the tap. Did you know that if the baby comes into contact with something, the saliva gets into your body, and you make antibodies that are passed to the baby?”

“I didn’t, no.” Riko shifted. “And I think that breasts have two purposes. There’s the one for feeding your babies, and then there’s a sexual side. It’s ingrained in our genetics, ya know? So your brain isn’t going to interpret in the same way as if you’re with your husband, you know? It wasn’t an issue for me personally, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be for you. Everyone is different, so don’t stress over it. When they come, just see how it feels for you. If it’s not right for you, then don’t do it. There’s not wrong way to feed your baby, Satsuki. Bottle, breast, breast milk, formula. The baby gets fed. It gets what it needs. And that is what you should focus on. 

“Forget what all those books and mommy blogs say. There are so many ways to do the same thing. Not everything is going to work for everyone. You and Daiki will figure out what is the best thing for your family. You’re going to be an amazing mother. Don’t let anyone shame you for not doing something the way they think it should be done, or what works for their family. Are there things that have a clear right and wrong? Yes. But most things in parenting are individualized, and what works with one of your kids doesn’t always work with the other. For example Benjiro is a really rowdy kid. He needs more discipline than his brothers. We have to make clear, firm boundaries for him. With Jun, we need to be more gentle, and we can be more lax. He’s a very obedient child. Reo is only one, and needs much different things than a four year old or a three year old. 

“So what I’m saying is basically just use your intuition. Moms have it. You just know. You learn by trial and error. Are you going to make mistakes, of course. You’re human, Satsuki. But what’s important is that you raise your kids in a loving, nurturing environment. You make them strong, responsible, independent adults. That’s our job. And nothing is going to change the fact that those little girls are going to be the most loved kids in the world. You’re going to do great.” 

Riko stood up, and sat down next to Satsuki, and gave her a hug. Satsuki laughed softly through the tears in her eyes. She brushed them away, and hugged her chest. 

“I’m worried about Daiki too with his depression, you know? Like is he going to be okay? I’ve worried about him our entire lives.” 

“Satsuki, you’ve known the guy your whole life.”

“That’s what makes me worry. Like he’s matured into this amazing man, but he’s still Daiki, you know? I know he’s gonna be an amazing father to our girls. I know that. But I’m just scared because I’ve seen how far he falls.” 

Riko nodded. The two shared a small silence before Riko replied. “I don’t quite understand your situation because neither I nor Junpei have been in that position. But I think that’s also just something that you have to wait to see. There’s no use in worrying. Worrying doesn’t help anything.” 

“Yeah…” 

Satsuki mulled Riko’s words over in her head. She was right. Satsuki wished she could talk to her mom about this, but she knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. Her mother would make a big deal about it. She was eternally grateful to Riko for her advice. She was right. It was just scary. She and Daiki had waited for years. Now that they were going to get their twins, they didn’t want to mess anything up. She’d talk to Daiki about everything. Maybe he was thinking about this just as much as she was. 

Riko jumped up pulling Satsuki from her thoughts. “Now, let’s go eat!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment. <3


	22. Ride or Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm on a roll! Lol I hope y'all like this
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING MENTIONS OF PAST SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Daiki sat on the ground playing with the kittens. He was so bored. There was nothing to do until Satsuki needed to be picked up from work. Fucking Kagami was busy. Doing what, Daiki had no idea, nor did he care. He could take a nap, but he felt the cats were getting a bit neglected in the chaos of planning for the twins. Satsuki couldn't be around them as much these days because of the risks. It was really sad. He wished they'd waited to get kittens. They deserved more. They used to sleep in the bed with them, but now they were worried. How would it be when the twins were born? Would they have the time for two rambunctious kittens? They really didn't have a choice. They adopted them. That meant they were supposed to raise them. The whole point was so that they could get past the infertility and the miscarriage. If they couldn't have human babies, they'd have fur babies. Now that plan had changed. He'd be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about giving them to Alex and Miles so they'd get more attention, but the kittens would probably be traumatized by Alex. Plus they still had Nigou.

Cleo bumped her against Daiki's arm trying to get his attention that she wanted attention too. He smiled and let her smell his hand before petting her gently, and eventually picking her up to set her in his lap. He hugged her and pressed a kiss to her head. He'd never even think about getting rid of Cleo. She was too old, and she was blind. She wasn't rambunctious in the least, quite the opposite. She preferred to spend her days curled up in the window basking in the sun. Satsuki joked that she really was his cat. He loved her.

He loved all of them. But his mind was thinking of what would be fair when they had two kids. Babies weren't the best with animals, and cats weren't like dogs where they'd put up with being roughhoused. Alex liked to play with Nigou like that. What if they bit or scratched the kids? They wouldn't do it for no reason of course, but could they watch them constantly? True, cats did have a way of hiding from things they didn't want to be part of.

Daiki scooped up the kittens, kissing both of their heads. The day they got them Satsuki had been so broken. She was pale, and trying not to cry. It broke his heart seeing her like that. They were both in some of the darkest days.

The only time darker than that was in high school when Daiki was thinking about how easy it'd be to just jump off the roof, or jump into the middle of traffic. Satsuki had caught him teetering on the edge at school, and had freaked out. He remembered staring at her and telling her how he just wanted to stop existing, that merely existing was too much. In college, he'd gotten into a deep place once again. That time he thought about all the best ways to off himself. He had everything he'd ever wanted. He had finally been signed to the NBA. He and Satsuki were dating. Tetsu was planning on moving to be with Kagami after he finished up his major. Everything was in place, but it didn't matter. He'd hung in a limbo between deep, emotional pain that he could feel almost physically, and complete apathy and numbness. Neither were good. Both were dangerous. He'd laid in bed for a week taking turns crying and sleeping. Satsuki hadn't been able to get him up. It scared her, but she laid with him, holding him, and telling him how much she loved him. He scared her so badly. And he told her how he was feeling, told him how he just wanted to die. He couldn't do it anymore. That's when she forced him to get help again.

When they moved from Japan, he didn't get a new psychiatrist. He finished his pills, and then stopped. Maybe that's what had sparked that depression. He didn't honestly know. Satsuki had made sure he found someone. She promised him that she'd be with him every step of the way. She had always fussed over him, worried about him, and followed him around to keep an eye on him. It used to piss him off and annoy him because he felt like she didn't trust him. But he was thankful because she was the reason he was still here. She was the reason he was okay. Because she believed in him eternally and unconditionally. She loved him even when he was the hardest person to love. Satsuki was the best thing to happen to him. Her vigilance was probably why he never slipped into those suicidal days during the last six years of trying. He'd fallen into depression of course, but not to that point. Mostly he'd just sleep all day and barely eat or shower. Satsuki would call the coach to tell him he was sick. Satsuki took good care of him.

"You have such a good mommy," Daiki told the kittens softly.

*****

Satsuki busied herself on her phone answering emails and the like. Things were heating up at work with the merger. Step one was completed, and her boss was breathing down her neck to reach out the companies they'd narrowed down to merge with. He wanted no more than one at the time, so she was viciously emailing and researching. Days were spent on the phone taking notes as she talked to various executives at the companies. It seemed like everyone wanted the merge, but very few actually showed excitement toward it. She had crossed several off the list, and was working tirelessly to get everything ready. She didn't want to stay late at the office seeing as she was now nearing thirty-four weeks. She wasn't sure how long the twins were going to stay put, and that was stressing her out even more. But Dr. Adams told her that stress could induce labor. Dr. Martinez said it was bad for their marriage to work at home. But right now, she just needed to get this done. Daiki was supportive. That's the only thing that mattered.

She sighed, and tossed her phone in her purse having finished the last email for a while. She had to keep checking, but for now they were caught up. She brushed her hair behind her ear, and rested her hand on her stomach. The twins were going crazy. These days it was getting harder and harder to be pregnant. Her back was constantly aching. Round ligament pain was a near constant thing. Her ankles were swollen. She had heartburn, and a list of GI issues she didn't care to think about. She was tired of being pregnant. She wanted the twins here. Now. This was starting to get miserable.

Daiki glanced over at her, and took her hand. "You good?"

"Yeah." She forced a smile. "I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed and busy. I need to get this done before the twins get here."

Daiki nodded, and kissed her hand, not taking his eyes from the road. The gesture melted away some of the stress.

"I know. You do what you need to do. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks."

Satsuki stared out the window. There were so many cars with Christmas trees on top as people prepared for Christmas. That was something she loved about the Christmas season here. There was sweet music in every store that so many people found annoying, but Satsuki loved it. People's homes were covered in lights and displays. She loved to drive around with Daiki and look at it all. There was always a little stroll that they went to and had hot chocolate, and took the fun rides. Everyone was kind and generous. She and Daiki had even gotten into the spirit after a while, but this year they were preoccupied. The twins were due around Christmas, and there was really no time or energy.

She turned around and suddenly her heart skipped a beat. Daiki's car didn't have back seats. They'd prepared everything, but they didn't plan for the car. They only had one car. Satsuki wanted to do their part for the environment. Daiki rarely was unable to take her to work and pick her up. Sometimes she'd take the car, other times she took a Lyft. Daiki didn't mind doing that either. It just didn't make sense to have two cars when logistically there was no need for it.

"Uh, Dai-chan?"

"Hm?"

"Where are we supposed to fit the car seats?"

Daiki glanced at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean there's not room in here. You don't have back seats."

"Shit..."

"Yeah. We need to get a car, and I think we should do it now."

"I'd have to call the bank to let them know. You know I don't want to take out a loan when we can buy it outright."

"Then call. I'm serious. We need to go car shopping now. Like right now. I know I'm not at term yet, but twins don't always make it there. I don't want to be caught without something to take them home in."

"Worst case scenario we get a rental."

"Now, Daiki."

"Fine. But are you sure you want to drive it home?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we can't both drive. One of us has to take each car home."

"Oh, we're not going to have that problem."

"What do you mean?" He glanced at her.

"We need to stay a one-car home. We agreed."

"Yeah, but we're having kids. It makes sense. We're gonna be more busy."

"You're not understanding me. We're gonna trade your car in."

"What?" Daiki stared at her. "No. No, Satsuki, that's insane. I can't. This is my baby!"

"Well we have actual babies to think about."

"But Satsuki, it's beautiful. And listen to that engine." He threw his head back against the seat. "And it drives so well. There's so much power. It makes you feel alive."

"I know, but don't we want to do our part? There are polar bears and penguins dying."

"I know. And I do, but Satsuki...my car?"

"Yes. It's just a car."

"You realize that someone is still going to be driving this one, right? It just doesn't magically go away. What if they ruin her?"

"Yeah, but it's still saving another car from being driven."

"Satsuki, please."

"No. We're going to trade it in for something more practical. Plus this little car is dangerous. If something were to happen..."

"Satsuki..." Daiki banged his head against the headrest. "I love this car."

"I know. I do. But we have to think about our family."

Daiki muttered under his breath for a moment. He'd always loved the Audi R series. They were slick, and beautiful. Any car lover would love it. They drove so smooth, and there was a level of kick to them. He ended up getting a custom Spyder with matte black paint and black interior. It really was a gorgeous car. Satsuki had only driven it a handful of times, and Daiki was so protective of it. He always chose the furthest parking spot to make sure nobody hit it. He kept it in the garage and took such good care of it. When he'd shown Kagami, the man's eyes practically popped out of his head. Kagami wanted one, but now he drove a minivan like a suburban soccer mom.

Daiki hit the steering wheel. "Fine. But I draw the line at a fucking minivan. We're not doing that bullshit."

"It's practical."

"No! Damn, Satsuki, what are you trying to do? Castrate me? Damn, woman."

"Fine. Deal. But we're getting something spacious. We need to fit a tandem stroller in there and have room for everything the kids need. So if we don't find something..."

"We're not getting a minivan."

"I'm just saying if that's what we need."

"Satsuki, we're not getting a fucking minivan for two kids. No." 

Satsuki laughed, and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled.

*****

Daiki and Satsuki followed the salesman around the lot. Daiki was chewed his cheeks raw. Satsuki could tell he was still not over having his car be sold, but it was the only thing they could do. And he was having none of any of the cars they were shown. Just flat out refusing everything. It was too big, too ugly, made him feel like he was fifty, not the right color, the interior wasn't right. It was always something. By the tenth car, Satsuki felt her blood starting to boil. She didn't want to walk around aimlessly all over the lot. She'd expected this to go a lot smoother than it was.

"Do you just want something custom?" the salesman asked, crossing his arms clearly trying to hide his annoyance.

"No," Daiki muttered.

"He's just being sore because we're trading in his car," Satsuki said, hugging Daiki's arm.

"Ah."

"It's Audi R8 Spyder! A Spyder! Matte finish! And it's custom! Do you think anything else is going to be up to that standard?" Daiki let out an exasperated laugh. "No!"

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Because this one wants to save the planet or whatever." Daiki crossed his arms, and glared at the ground.

"Don't listen to him. He's just being a child." Satsuki swatted Daiki on the arm. "We're having twins, so we'll need to be more logical, you know? I love his car too, but it's time to let it go."

"My old lady made me do the same thing. Women can be so bossy."

"Huh?" Daiki turned his attention back to the man. "She's not being bossy. She's just being the logical one. And you shouldn't call your wife old."

"Whoa, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." The man held his hands up defensively.

Satsuki was partially flattered, and partially embarrassed. She loved that Daiki was defending her, but at the same time this man was the one trying to get them into a new car. That's all she wanted right now, to just to get into a nice car that was fit for their family. Was that too much to ask? Maybe she should just fire Daiki.

"If you like Audis, I can show you some that might fit what you folks need."

The couple followed the man. Satsuki was eager to just get a good car and go before the dealership closed. Daiki looked absolutely annoyed. He didn't like the car salesman, and he didn't like that they were getting something new while he was losing his car. She understood what it meant to him. It was the first thing he'd bought after he'd gotten his first check. He'd always wanted one. He talked about it all the time. Getting something big like that for yourself with your own money, let alone paying cash, was the best feeling in the world, and you clung to that. But it was time to let go. There were new, more important things to come.

She rubbed her belly with a smile at the thought. Soon they'd have everything they needed. She had baby showers coming up. They'd get more then. Their kids were going to be so loved. She'd already picked out their home outfits, and their first outfits. Akari had a blue dress with a tutu and a cute matching headband. Sora's would be purple. Matching like sisters. Satsuki couldn't wait.

The salesman stopped in front of a small black SUV. The sun glimmered off the paint. It had chrome detailing. It was absolutely beautiful.

"New Audi Q8 cross over. Fifty-five TFSI engine. Eight speed Triptronic transmission. 12.3 inch display with nav including Google Earth. Black leather and interior. The tailgate is handsfree which is perfect for when you're carrying those little one's stuff. The rear seats fold down. It's spacious. Definition of a luxury SUV. It's perfect for a growing family when you want to keep everything classy."

Satsuki beamed. It was beautiful and practical. She glanced at Daiki and had his mouth pulled to the side and that same scowl he'd been wearing the entirety of their time at the dealership. She rolled her eyes, and anticipated what his next complaint would be.

"Leather gets really hot in the summer."

"Anything else wrong with it?" Satsuki asked. 

"It burns your skin off, Satsuki."

"Then we'll buy seat covers. We'll test drive it!"

"Sat-"

"I'll drive if you don't want to."

Daiki grumbled, and walked to the driver side. The man went into the dealership to get the keys. Daiki leaned against the car, and scowled at the ground with his arms tightly crossed over his chest. Satsuki sighed, rolling her eyes, and walked over to him.

"Can you at least try?"

"I am."

"You're not."

"I'm gonna drive the fucking car, aren't?" He rolled his eyes.

"Don't give me that attitude, Daiki."

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"I don't believe you."

"I'm just upset. I love that car."

"I know." She hugged him tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said with a sigh. "And I love our little girls." Daiki kissed her head. "I'll try to stop being in a bad mood."

"Thank you. And you never know, you might love this."

"Doubtful."

"Daiki!" Satsuki smacked his stomach.

"I'm sorry!" he said with a laugh.

The salesman came out at that exact moment with the key. He handed them to Daiki, and they were off with some help to get Satsuki in such a high up vehicle. That would take some getting used to. The drive was unbelievably smooth. Daiki didn't say anything as they drove the designated route. They got back to the dealership, and he asked Satsuki if she'd like to drive it, see how she liked it. It took some getting used to. There wasn't as much power and it was a much bigger vehicle, but it felt safer.

"Well guys, what you think?"

Satsuki glanced at Daiki who kept a blank face. She rolled her eyes, and turned to the man. "I liked it."

"Great! And you, sir?"

"It's not what I'm looking for."

"Daiki!"

"But, I guess if Satsuki likes it, we'll get it."

"Best to make the wife happy, eh? You know what they say. Happy wife, happy life."

Daiki rolled his eyes, glaring at the ground grumbling under his breath in Japanese. Satsuki laughed softly.

They worked out all the details, and filled out the necessary paperwork. When it came time for Daiki to sign his car away, Satsuki felt bad for asking him to get rid of it.. He looked heartbroken. But this was what was best for the whole family. He'd get over it in time. She was sure once their twins were born, he'd be thinking about how it was a good choice.

"Congratulations, folks! I hope you two have a great night. Enjoy the car."

"Thank you so much!" Satsuki said, ready to go home.

Daiki made a beeline to his car, and rested his hand on the hood. Something told Satsuki she'd better wait in the new car for him to say goodbye. She tried to get in, but figured it would be best to ask for help seeing as she was struggling hard to get in. She watched him stand there for a while, walking around the car, touching it gently. When he was ready he walked over to their new car, and helped Satsuki in before getting in the driver's side. He sat there for a moment, just staring at the car. Tears filled his eyes, and he brushed them away quickly and started the car.

"Dai-chan, are you crying?" Satsuki said softly, covering her mouth.

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You're right. This is best. I'm okay. I promise."

"Are you sure?"

Daiki cleared his throat and straightened his posture. "Yeah. What do you say we break it in with some food?"

Satsuki laughed softly. "I think that sounds like a good idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment! 


	23. Baby Shower!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make a little light-hearted/humorous chapter. I hope y'all like it!

Daiki stared at the ceiling of Kagami and Tetsu's house from where he was laying on the couch. He couldn't stop thinking about losing his car. He loved her so much. There were good times in that car. He and Satsuki had _memories_ in that car. Gone. All of it gone. He couldn't stand it. He refused to let himself like that shitty ass SUV. It was like he'd lost a loved one. He didn't know how he could handle it. He'd never drive it again. Never feel the power behind it.

"She's gone, Kagami."

"You've said that a million times since you got here." Kagami set a pair of pants he was folding in the pile.

"But she's gone. I'll never get her back! She was my first car, Kagami! And Satsuki made me get rid of it. Fuck the polar bears!"

Kagami laughed, and tossed a towel on Daiki's face. Daiki grabbed it and threw it back with a glare. He wasn't in the mood. He'd come over to talk to his friend, but no. He had to be boring.

"Do you even realize what this is like? I went from a beautiful sports car, my dream car, to this suburban soccer mom thing."

"Well considering Tetsuya made us get a minivan in addition to our small SUV so we could take the kids' friends around with us, I do. Neither of us kept our cars because it wasn’t practical. But it's not a big deal. It's part of becoming a parent. You make sacrifices for your kids. Also since when did I become your therapist? Don't you have a shrink?” 

"A _psychiatrist_. Anyway, you had a shitty Honda. Not a sports car. And can you stop being right for five seconds and empathize with me?"

"I'm sorry. It sucks."

"It does suck."

Daiki rested his arm over his eyes. All he could think about was leaving that beautiful car on the lot for some asshole rich kid to buy just to wreck the minute it was off the lot. He wished he could have at least picked who got the car. Not knowing if she was gonna be taken care of or not was a huge stress. He was stressed by so much lately.

Satsuki could have the twins any day now. She was nearing thirty-six weeks. Dr. Adams had given her steroids last week just in case they came early their lungs would be good. The fact that there was even a shred of a possibility they could end up in the hospital was almost too much for Daiki to handle. Satsuki wanted a vaginal birth, but there was always the chance she'd have to have a C-section. There was so much going on. And here he was crying about a fucking car. He felt like an ass.

"So the car has red lights at night. The details light up red. It's pretty badass."

"That sounds pretty cool."

"It is."

There was a pause in conversation.

"You know Satsuki could have the twins any day, right? Like how insane is that? I could be a dad like today. It's crazy. I thought for so long this would never happen, and here we are. I just...it's so terrifying."

"You'll be fine. You're great with the kids, and you guys have wanted this for a long time. It comes naturally, you know? And if it could be natural for Tetsuya and I with adopting a five and nine month old, then I'm sure it's even easier with biological children. You know like instincts."

Daiki nodded slowly, and crossed his arms over his chest. He hated to admit it, but if Kagami could look at five year old Miles, and suddenly become a soft dad, then Daiki didn't stand a chance. Everything would be okay, but in the back of his mind everything was terrifying. Satsuki's bump was huge and low these days, a telling sign that they were so close. Her back was killing her constantly. Akari had dropped her way into Satsuki's pelvis, painfully so. If he had to spend one more day trying to console her when she refused to take even Tylenol to keep the pain at bay he was going to scream. It wasn't right what she was having to go through, but it made him love her just that much more that she would go through all of that with such grace for their children.

He wondered what the twins would be like. Was the ultrasound accurate on what they'd look like? Would they like him or Satsuki more? He was fully prepared to have himself wrapped around their little finger, though he was absolutely determined to try not to. That would get in the way when they were acting naughty. Would they sleep or would they be those babies that cried all the time? Would they like to be held, or would they want their time alone? Would they like tummy time? Who would crawl first? Who would take their first steps, and to whom? There was so much he was wondering about.

But the biggest concern at the moment was Satsuki. Would she be in labor very long? Would the epidural take? Would she be pushing very long? How much pain was she going to be in? She was giving birth not once, but twice. Would she hate him? Would there be complications? He just wanted everything to go smoothly with a healthy, happy mama and babies. He shouldn't have looked at all the things that could go wrong because now he was anxious as hell.

Satsuki was having her baby shower at work today, and then tomorrow Riko was throwing one for her. Personally Daiki thought it was a little late. Satsuki was miserable as it is, and for her friends to make her do all kinds of weird stuff just seemed over the top. What if she went into labor at the baby shower? And was he expected to go, or was he supposed to be gone? He didn't know the rules. Did he feel like sitting around and playing shitty games? No. But did he want to celebrate his kids and eat food he didn't have to pay for? Hell yes.

"Are guys supposed to go to baby showers?"

"It really depends on the family."

"Right." Daiki sat up. "Save me."

"Huh?"

"Riko would do something crazy, wouldn't she? Save me."

Kagami's eyes got huge, and he took a few steps back from his laundry. "That's scary to think about."

"Right?" Daiki shook his head, lying back down. "I don't want to do weird stuff. I just want to sit there and eat and open presents with Satsuki."

"You never know. Could be fun."

"No."

"Look, all I'm saying is you and Satsuki have been trying for most of your marriage for a kid. You guys miscarried. You're getting your chance finally, and this kind of stuff really goes with it. And it's more for Satsuki than for you. Just think would you want to miss it?"

Daiki nodded to himself. Kagami was right about that. He didn't quite know what he wanted. He'd have to talk to Satsuki. It might be just the girls, but did they even have any girl friends? Riko was girly girl repulsed, and Satsuki tended to just keep a lot of guy friends. Plus Satsuki literally only did stuff within their group. Who would they invite? He didn't have time to think because the door flew open and the boys raced in.

"Uncle Daiki! Uncle Daiki!" the boys said in unison, jumping on top of him. He scrunched up to protect his stomach and groin from the excited boys. 

“Hey! How was school?” 

“Alex got in trouble again. Taiga, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be wrestling with them. He’s starting to do it at school and it’s getting him in trouble,” Tetsuya said, setting down his keys. “You either, Aomine-kun.” 

“Huh?” Daiki sat up. “You really don’t want us playing rough with the boys because of some whiny kids who probably started it, but got butthurt because they lost?” 

“Aomine, you’re going to give them-”

“He got very butthurted!” Alex exclaimed, sitting up. “Uncle Daiki, can you beat them up?” 

“God bless, Aomine.” Kagami threw a shirt at him - hard. 

“How is Satsuki doing?” Tetsuya pulled Alex off of where he was sitting on Daiki’s chest, and sat down, holding his son close. 

“She’s good, just ready to deliver. She’s been miserable these last few weeks,” Daiki said, wrapping his arms around Miles who was now laying on top of him, with his eyes closed, a surefire way to know he’d get all the cuddles in the world. Honestly they’d probably take a nap together. 

Miles always was a soft kid who was always competing for his brother’s attention. Everyone was more gentle with him because he’d come from a very abusive family. He’d been so scared when he was first placed with Taiga and Tetsuya. He’d get scared when he dropped something, apologizing with tears in his eyes. He’d taken comfort in Daiki instantly for some reason. Probably because he didn’t try to interact with him like everyone else. It was like how you approached a wild animal or a cat. You couldn’t just run up to them. They had to come to you. And that’s what happened. Every since then, Miles always needed his time with Daiki. To see how far he’d come in such a loving environment was everything. 

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that.” 

Alex hopped out of Tetsuya’s lap and ran into the kitchen where Kagami had disappeared to. “Daddy, I’m hungry!” 

“Tell him to make me a snack too, Alex,” Daiki called. He chuckled softly before turning his attention back to Tetsuya. “Yeah. I’m trying to do what I can, but you know how it is.” Daiki pressed a kiss to his godson’s head. “She’s got two little humans in there and they’re not the nicest to their mama. You know she started crying the other night because they wouldn’t stop kicking her ribs?” 

“That sounds awful.” 

“Yeah. Women are amazing, you know?” Daiki shook his head. “It’s crazy how much they go through for their kids. They’re so strong. I can’t imagine…” 

“I think about that sometimes with the boys. Mothers have this bond with their kids and go through so much for them. I often wonder how could a mother do what Miles’ mother did to her children? And for Alex, I can’t imagine what being put up for adoption by his mother at five months was like for him. He already bonded with her. I know she was sixteen, but I still can’t imagine.” Tetsuya shook his head. 

Miles whimpered, and buried his face in Daiki’s chest. “You’re okay,” Daiki told him gently. 

“Sorry, Miles,” Tetsuya said softly, rubbing his son’s back. He didn’t raise his eyes from Miles as he spoke to Daiki. “How are you feeling? Excited?” 

“Yeah, and nervous. I’m just like what if I’m not good enough, you know? And I’m worried about Satsuki.”

“You’re going to be amazing. Look at you.” He gestured toward him and Miles. “This kid liked you from day one. You’re natural with kids. You’ll be fine.” 

“You’ll be the best, Uncle Daiki,” Miles mumbled.

“Thanks.” 

Daiki smiled. He was scared as hell, but he felt better now that he’d talked to his friends. He never did get that snack from Kagami though. 

*****

Satsuki braided her hair into a small bun, and put on makeup. She hadn’t felt the greatest lately. She was constantly tired, her back and feet were killing her, and she could barely sleep. Work was insane. She’d been doing the bare minimum lately with throwing on a random dress with flats, running a brush through her hair, and putting on mascara. That’s really all she had the energy for. But she wanted to look nice at her baby shower. Riko was being kind enough to throw her one, and she wanted to enjoy it. It was amazing how much a bubble bath with candles and essential oils, and getting dolled up could do to a person’s energy. 

When Daiki was in his funks, she’d always make him get out of bed and shower, and make sure he got dressed into actual clothes. Sometimes that was all he did that day before just laying back in bed, but it was something. He felt better even if it was just a hair. It was self care. It was necessary. She was just happy that Daiki was keeping on her, and had offered to shave her legs for her without her even asking. He was trying, and that was all that mattered. He’d been the one to suggest she get dolled up. _That always helps me._

Satsuki put her makeup away, and walked out of the bathroom. Daiki was watching some show lying on their bed in a pair of dark jeans and a button down mint long sleeved shirt. He looked so handsome. She smiled at him, walking over to where he was sitting and kissed him. 

“You look beautiful,” he said softly with a smile. 

“Thank you. I don’t feel it with this though.” 

She let the towel drop, and she motioned toward her swollen stomach that was laden with dark purple stretch marks, then her breasts, sides, arms, thighs, and ass. She hated that she was covered in them, though the others were a soft pink. He gave her a once over and shrugged. 

“I think you’re even more beautiful.”

“Great,” she forced a smile, and narrowed her eyes. “Because that’s all that matters, right? What you think.” 

“No, that’s not…” He stopped and sighed. “What do you want me to do, Satsuki?”

“Just, just tell me it sucks. Tell me that my feelings are valid. Just stop brushing it off, okay? I hate when you do that, like you’re belittling me or making me feel like I’m being crazy.” 

“You’re not being crazy, Satsuki. I’m sorry. I know you’re going through a lot with all the changes. It’s hard. I can’t imagine. But-” He held out his hand to stop her when she opened her mouth to retort. “But just remember what you’d said before. You want to be a mom, and whatever comes with that. And remember that you’re beautiful not only outwardly, but your heart is so big, and you care so much. I don’t want you to feel ugly when you’re the farthest from it, okay? You’re growing two lives inside you. That’s pretty damn amazing.” 

Satsuki crossed her arms, and nodded. She hated all the emotional rollercoasters she was on with the pregnancy hormones. They amplified her actual feelings. It was like she’d feel upset, and just go off the wall. She couldn’t stop it. She was trying. Daiki was so patient. She didn’t understand how. Hell, she got tired of herself. 

“I love you,” she said softly.

“I love you too. Now how about we get you dressed?” 

Satsuki nodded. He helped her into her underwear and a pair of black leggings. She put on a bra, and pulled on her long, flowy, long sleeved pink dress she’d gotten for the party. She felt the black would be a good contrast. She pulled on her black peacoat, and followed Daiki to the living room. He helped her slide on her pink boots, and they were off. 

She stared out the window at all the Christmas decor. She thought about how much she wanted to do Christmas stuff with their kids even though they didn’t really celebrate it. They weren’t Christian, but she learned that in America you didn’t have to be. It had become this spiritual and cultural thing. It was having fun and being with family. Everyone was nicer. She wanted their little family to go shopping for a tree every year while they decorated it together. She wanted to make cookies together. She wanted their little girls to be excited for Santa, and wake up Christmas morning to presents. And she wanted to show them how exciting New Years was. She wanted to take them to Japan for that, see how their biggest celebration was. It was all part of the season, right? She just wanted to make traditions with them and give them both cultures. She wanted the perfect childhood for them. 

They pulled up to Riko’s house. Junpei was in the driveway putting the boys in their car seats. He waved to them. Satsuki and Daiki got out of the car, and made their way up to the house. Junpei glanced at Daiki with wide eyes. 

“You’re staying?” 

“Yeah,” Daiki answered. “Why?” 

“No. No, leave. Run, Daiki.” 

“Why?” 

“Satsuki! Daiki!” Riko ran out of the house, and hugged Satsuki. “We’re going to have so much fun! Come in! Get off your feet.” 

She ushered Satsuki in, and motioned for Daiki to follow. Junpei shook his head. 

“You’re going to regret this, Aomine.” 

Satsuki glanced back, and saw the nervousness spreading over her husband. She didn’t understand what Junpei meant. Maybe he just didn’t like baby showers. It was possible. She felt annoyance spread through her whole body. This was supposed to be a fun time, and Junpei was scaring Daiki, acting like he was a dead man walking. It made her so frustrated.

“Dai-chan!” 

Daiki seemed to snap out of it, though he followed slowly. 

Inside there were pink streamers everywhere. “It’s a girl!” balloons sat on each side of the long table that was set up with food. There were strawberry and vanilla cupcakes decorated with the opposite color icing. There was a bowl of punch. Chips and veggies with ranch dip were out, as well as fruit with caramel. Everything looked perfect. 

“Riko!” Satsuki covered her mouth and with her hands, tears pricking in her eyes. “It’s perfect!”

“I thought you deserved it! Help yourself. Tetsuya and Kagami will be here soon. Then the real fun can start.” Riko glanced at Daiki, and smirked. “I’ve got something special for you too, Daiki.” 

*****

Daiki couldn’t get what Junpei said out of his head. He’d looked so nervous, so worried. And those warning were haunting. What was Riko planning? Nothing could be worse than what she put them through in practice, or those god awful ice baths that were way too much ice. Riko just had a knack for torture. That was the scary part. 

There were a few women Satsuki worked with that had arrived. He stood by the refreshments watching Satsuki light up the room. He couldn’t believe she’d ever picked him. It didn’t feel real that she was his wife, and especially that she was the mother of his children. He knew those girls were going to be in the best hands with Satsuki as their mother. They were going to be blessed as hell. She was perfect. 

“You okay?” Kagami said, suddenly appearing next to him. 

“Fuck, are you learning from Tetsu?” Daiki shook his head. “When did you even get here?” 

“A bit ago. I saw you had the right idea hanging out by the food.” 

“Yeah. I don’t know those girls, and I don’t really want to. It’s better I don’t, you know?” 

“Yeah,” Kagami said, grabbing a few cupcakes. 

Riko skipped into the room with a devilish smile on her face, and something held behind her back. Daiki exchanged a glance with Kagami. 

“Okay! So I don’t really have any games planned, BUT I have something special for dad,” Riko said in a singsong voice. 

“Uh…” Daiki narrowed his eyes. 

“Come sit on the couch.” She beamed. 

Daiki made eye contact with Satsuki before sitting down. Riko walked in front of him, and held up a box. 

“This is a birth simulator. I’m gonna connect these electrodes to you, and then I’m going to give it the power to contract your muscles so you’re gonna feel a contraction.” She turned around. “You too, Kagami.”

“What? Why? I didn’t knock anyone up!”

“Because you sassed me the other day at practice,” she batted her eyelashes at him with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Yeah, Kagami, come over here. It’ll be okay.” 

Riko laughed. “Shirts up.” 

Daiki tried to pretend he wasn’t nervous. He was. He and Satsuki watched videos. It looked awful. But at the same time it would be good to know what Satsuki would deal with so he could help her through. It wouldn’t be that bad, right? He could handle it. 

“So the intensity is one to five. Ready?” 

“Aomine, I hate you so much for getting Satsuki pregnant.” 

“It’s your fault you sassed her.” 

Riko turned the dial and his ab muscles contracted. He let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t that bad. Just a bit uncomfortable. 

“Small taste. Here’s two.” 

His breath caught. He hadn’t expect the leap to go that much. Riko smirked, and started moving the dial more, and pressing the button. Over and over. Four was when it got serious. He and Kagami were leaning against each other begging her to stop, but she was just laughing, and having fun. Five almost brought him to tears. He didn’t know how long it was going until Satsuki rushed over and took it from Riko. 

“Stop!” she said with tears in her eyes. 

“What? I’m just showing him what you’re gonna deal with.” 

“Exactly!” Satsuki snapped. “I haven’t done it yet! Look at them. They’re almost crying! Now I’m terrified!” 

“Oh...shit...um...I didn’t think that through.” Riko chewed her lip. “I’m sorry.” 

Daiki ripped the leads off, stood up, and pulled Satsuki into a hug. “It’ll be okay. I’ll be right there. And remember, you’re going to get an epidural, and you’ll be fine,” he said softly.

“I know,” she whispered. “I’m just scared.” 

“I know.” He didn’t know how to make it better. He wanted to badly to take all her pain and fears away. He hugged her tighter. “Just think about when you finally get to hold them in your arms. It’ll be the best moment in the world. You’ll forget about everything. And I’ll spoil the shit out of you.” 

“I love you.”

“I love you too. I’m here for you, okay?” 

“Okay.”

He pulled away from her slightly. “Do want to open presents and have a cupcake?” 

Satsuki smiled at him, and nodded, brushing away the tears. Daiki kissed her forehead, and helped her sit down. He grabbed a plate for her before sitting down next to her. His abs still hurt. Kagami was glaring at him from the couch. He didn’t care. He just wanted to get Satsuki’s mind on something else. 

Riko brought Satsuki all of the bags. With every gift that was opened, Daiki could see the fear melting away. Satsuki was enjoying herself again. They got more diapers, wipes, formula, and a few bottles that were supposed to mimic breastfeeding. There were dresses and onesies, and toys. Their children were going to be so spoiled. Satsuki leaned against Daiki, and laced her fingers with his. 

“I can’t wait for them to be here,” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think, how you feel. <3


	24. Traditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been so long! I'm sorry! Things are starting to heat up. :D 
> 
> Enjoy!

Satsuki swayed her feet as she waited for Dr. Adams to arrive for the appointment. All she wanted was for these children to be out. She was utterly miserable, and she hated that she felt that way. They’d waited for this for six years. They were waiting nearly seven to hold these precious babies. Here she was still getting choked up with the number of stretch marks all over her body. She complained about feeling tired, her back and hips aching, her feet swelling and being sore by the end of the day. Every kick to the ribs had her crying, and Akari’s head in her pelvis was painful. She was just done. She’d dealt with this pregnancy for nine months, and she was over it. She didn’t feel like she could talk about it to anyone other than Daiki, but how was he supposed to understand? He was a man. He could never get pregnant. 

The door opened, and Dr. Adams came into the room with a huge smile. “Good morning! How are you feeling?” 

“Miserable,” Satsuki laughed softly. “But good.” 

“Good! Let’s take a look at how things are going. How are you feeling about the fact they could come at any time now?” 

“So ready, but I’m nervous about actually giving birth.” 

“That’s normal. Have you been contracting at all?” 

Satsuki nodded as she laid back on the table. “I’ve been contracting almost nonstop the last couple days. Not real ones. They don’t hurt or anything. I can just feel them. Oh, and I lost my plug last night.” 

Dr. Adams nodded, and offered a smile. “Things are moving along. I’d say these two are going to be here within the next week.” 

Satsuki’s heart skipped a beat. In the next week? It was terrifying to think about. She and Daiki had been planning and getting the house ready for this for months, but now that it was so close, it was scary. She wondered if they were fully prepared. She was ready for these two to be out, true, but being parents was daunting. She knew they’d do well. And this was something they thought they’d never have. Here they were. She was so excited to have them in her arms, and she was looking forward to actually being able to be with the cats as much as she wanted. But everything was so scary. 

“Tell me about your contractions?” Dr. Adams said, slipping gloves on to start the pelvic exam. “Do they come and go? You said they’re nonstop. What do you mean by that?”

“Well they don’t hurt at all. They’re pretty regular though. I think about every twenty minutes or so. Um, sometimes they’ll stop. They kind of feel like braxton hicks, but sometimes don’t. It’s different.” Satsuki shifted as Dr. Adams started the exam.

“So it sounds like you’re very close. That might very well be real contractions. The prelabor portion can last a few hours to days before you start having strong contractions. So keep an eye on that. You’re two centimeters dilated and about twenty-five percent effaced.”

“So does that mean that I’m going to have a shorter labor?”

“Not necessarily. Remember this is your first time. It can take a while. From what you’re telling me, you might already be in labor. If the contractions get more frequent, and feel stronger, start timing them. Once they get to every five minutes, it’s time to come in. I wouldn’t be surprised if you came in this evening or tomorrow.”

“Oh wow…” 

Satsuki chewed her lip. She just wanted to stop being pregnant. Everything at work was in order. She had everything ready if she did go into labor. All that was needed was the meeting tomorrow afternoon. Once that meeting ended, she’d officially go on maternity leave. She couldn’t wait. 

“Dr. Adams?” 

“Yes?” 

“Is it safe for us to have sex?” 

“Yes. It won’t hurt since you’re GBS negative. There aren’t any risks. It could even speed the process up.” 

Satsuki nodded. Lately she really just hadn’t been feeling up to it. She felt sluggish, and huge. She didn’t want him touching her. But now she wanted nothing more. If she could go into labor any second, then this was the last time in a long time they would be able to. She knew these children were going to seriously fuck her vagina up. She knew everything went back to the way it was supposed to be, and even tightened up more. But she’d read where women lost sensitivity, and some couldn’t orgasm after having a baby. She wanted to take full control of feeling that at least one more time. And if she went into labor, she went into labor. Hell, she’d do the meeting from the hospital. She really didn’t care at this point. 

Dr. Adams did a quick ultrasound, and sent Satsuki on her way. She got in the car, and called Daiki who answered on the fourth ring with a groggy voice. 

“Hey, how was the appointment.” 

“Good. She said we could have these kids tonight or tomorrow. Definitely in the week. I’m dilated and effaced, so here’s to hoping a short labor.”

“Yeah. I wish you would have let me take you to work. I don’t think it’s good for you to be driving.”

“I told you I wanted to drive myself. Anyway, I’m not going back to work. Are you going to be doing anything today?”

“I was planning on going to practice.” 

“You’re taking the next season off. Skip.” 

“I promised the coach I would go to as many practices as I could. That was the compromise.”

“Do you want to have sex or not?”

“Huh? You’ve kept me like a foot away lately.” 

“I know. I just haven’t felt sexy. But I just want to at least have sex one more time before these kids wreck my vagina, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be there in twenty.” 

“I’ll be ready.”

Satsuki hung up, and rubbed her eyes. All she wanted was to spend the last few moments of just the two of them together. She wanted to soak up the peace. She wanted to curl up to Daiki and sleep. She wanted to just fuck him. She wanted so much to be just the two of them for one more night. She wanted to talk to him freely, and know him even more completely before they were thrust into the untred chaos of parenthood. That’s all she wanted. 

But she had that goddamn meeting. She wanted to scream and cry and throw everything down the drain because she was so frustrated. She let work get in the way of everything. Why was she so damn focused on it? How could she ditch their one last anniversary without kids to spend it in her office? Why had she spent so much time pushing him away? He’d been there her whole life, and suddenly for the first time she was desperate for more time with just him. 

She wiped the tears from her eyes, sat up, and started the car to drive home. She couldn’t go back, but she could do this. She could go home and enjoy their childless time for the small amount that it existed. She turned opened her playlist they’d made over the years, and turned the speakers up. 

She wondered what it was going to be like to have their kids in their life. They’d wanted this more than anything, still did, but Satsuki couldn’t help it. She hadn’t felt like herself in years. She had been constantly been putting artificial hormones into her body. It was like she had been eternally PMSing because the circumstances just had to be right. She had been exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally for years. Her emotions flipped on a dime, and she’d go from being happy to a mess to pissed off back to happy and she couldn’t control it. Making the decision to stop had finally gotten her to any semblance of her old self, and then she got pregnant. Then they lost him. Then she was pregnant again. Everything was up in the air. She couldn’t breathe. 

What if she never found herself again? 

*****

Daiki ran his fingers through Satsuki’s hair while she laid her head on her chest. The twins were going crazy. He could feel them from where Satsuki’s belly was resting against his. They were both catching their breath from several rounds of sex. Satsuki had been so horny through most of her pregnancy, but right about eight months, she didn’t want anything to do with him. She didn’t even want to kiss him for the most part. He understood. She was uncomfortable. She didn’t feel sexy. She was exhausted. She was miserable. She was just over being pregnant. He hadn’t expected to get that call. He hadn’t expected the last three hours. He hadn’t expected much. Least of all did he expect her to walk in and tell him to fuck the twins out. Well she hadn’t said _that_ , but she had said that it was supposed to help kickstart labor. 

The tips of his fingers knew every millimeter of Satsuki’s body, and his heart knew every fiber of her soul. Yet there was something so special about today. It could very well be the last day they could do this. Once the twins came, they’d be so tired and busy. Satsuki may even become sex repulsed by giving birth. Even if they had time, it wouldn’t get to be like this. And when they did, it’d be forever away. Tonight was special. 

“Dai-chan?” Satsuki’s voice was soft, and she didn’t move.

“Hm?” 

“Do you want to go downtown?”

“Right now?” 

“Yeah. I don’t know when I’m going to go into labor. I love going downtown for Christmas. They have all the lights and music. Everyone’s so happy. Kids are running around. I want to go get hot chocolate, and walk around. It’s romantic. I want to get cute pictures of us together.”

Daiki smiled, and kissed her head. “Yeah, of course.” 

“Plus walking induces labor. I’m so done being pregnant. I need these kids out of me. Now.” 

There it was. He let out a soft laugh. 

“What about your meeting?” 

“Fuck it. I can’t control if the twins decide to come. Besides, I’ve done all the work. My boss can read from a slide. Besides, we’ve done mock runs because it’s so important.” 

“You may not get to decide, but you’re sure doing things to speed up the process.”

“ _Allegedly_.” 

“ _Allegedly_ ,” Daiki repeated with a laugh.

She laughed softly too, and sat up. “Dai-chan?” 

“Mm?”

“Do you think we’ll have to miss New Year’s in Little Tokyo this year? I get so homesick that time of year.” 

She played with the blanket, not looking at him. He stared at where she was playing with it. It was a hard time for the kids to come. It was right in the middle of their traditions. Satsuki was happier in LA. She didn’t want to move back to Japan. Ever. But when they couldn’t go back for the New Year, it was hard for both of them. Americans didn’t celebrate it nearly the same. 

“That’s in a week, Satsuki. And if the twins could come any day, I don’t think it’s possible. You’ll be sore. The twins shouldn’t be out because they have no immune system. We’ll both be exhausted.” 

“Yeah…” Satsuki sighed forlorn. “At least our parents will be here, right?” 

“Right,” He pulled her into a hug, and kissed her temple. “Next year the twins are gonna experience Christmas and New Year’s and it’s going to be so fun. Every year. And we’ll go as a family.” 

“That’d be so nice.” 

“Yeah.” 

Satsuki smiled for a moment before standing up, and getting dressed. Daiki followed suit. 

*****

Satsuki sipped on her hot chocolate, leaning close to Daiki as their fingers were laced. It might sound stupid, but she always felt so proud to be with him in public. People would see them together, and know that she was Aomine Daiki’s wife. Everyone who paid attention to basketball knew who he was. She liked to make sure that her ring was always visible. It made her feel special. There was a part of her who kicked it up a notch out of pettiness. She knew there were people who lusted over him. She’d seen the fan pages and the twitters. The “MrsDaikiAomines” on there. Yeah, it annoyed her. She was human. It wasn’t a secret he was married. She knew this was a going to be a fact of life when they started dating. He was already getting scouted at the time, and even in college he was a big deal. But dear god, did she feel petty. Any time a girl stopped him for an autograph or pictures, she played it up, being sure to throw in a lot of “babe,” “honey,” and “baby” in there. He was hers. She was his. That’s all people needed to know. 

Daiki said she was being weird. He always told her she was being weird. _They’re just fans, Satsuki._ He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand. She trusted him. She knew he wasn’t going to cheat on her. But she knew that women envisioned themselves with him. She knew that there was fucking fanfiction about him with other girls. The only thing more cringey was the fanfiction they had of the two of them because there were people who were fans of his who loved her. She regretted ever reading what Ryota sent her. How he’d found it, she had no idea. She didn’t ask. It was best not to. But she fell down a hole one night. It just made her paranoid that someone was going to try something. She knew she was being crazy, but she couldn’t help it. Part of it might have been the years of trying with no baby to show for. There were times she’d be there to take pictures of him with people and she’d just think “I bet she could give him a child.”

She pushed the thoughts from her head, trying to focus on a good time. There was a little carnival set up with rides. Booths were selling snacks and food. She wanted it all, but she held back. If she did go into labor, she didn’t want to be puking fair food everywhere. God she just wanted to get these children out of her. She didn’t walk these days. She waddled. She could feel herself doing it. 

“Do you want to go on any rides?” Daiki asked, glancing down at her. 

She looked up at him, midsip. She hummed to herself, and shrugged. “I don’t know if there’s anything I can go on.” 

“Ferris wheel.” 

She scrunched her face, and shook her head. “I don’t think so. What if my water breaks at the top?” 

“You’re expecting that tonight?” Daiki smirked at her. “Maybe you shouldn’t have worn your good leggings.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You never know.” 

“I’m just joking, Satsuki.” 

She leaned against his chest and groaned. “I just want them out.”

“I know.” He hugged her, and planted a kiss on her head. 

“Dai-chan-”

“Oh my god! Hey, I’m so sorry, are you Daiki Aomine?” 

Satsuki’s heart sank and her stomach twisted at the sound of the woman’s voice. She wasn’t in the mood. She didn’t care who it was. Even if it was a guy, it would have annoyed her. She wanted to have a good night, but no. That was too much to ask. Because that’s what happened when you were married to someone famous. She’d talk to Tetsu about it in the past, about how he handled it when their _dates_ were ruined. People had even taken pictures of them kissing. He told her to just ignore it. Those people didn’t know them. They thought they did. People sat behind their televisions, and felt connected to them. But they weren’t part of their life. A fleeting second of time didn’t matter, but to those fans, it was everything. Tetsu had told her that she should be proud that people thought so highly of her husband that they would want to talk to him. Still it was hard in moments like this.

“Uh, yeah.” 

She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath before pulling away from him with her award winning smile because that’s what she had to do. There was a woman holding the hand of a little boy in a Lakers shirt. His eyes were shining with excitement, and he had on the biggest smile she’d ever seen. He couldn’t have been older than eight. There was a man behind them on his phone, talking about some case. 

“Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you two. My name is Megan. This is my son, Cole. He’s your biggest fan. He thought it was you. Is this your wife?” 

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting anything.” 

“Not at all!” Satsuki faked enthusiasm.

Daiki squatted down in front of the kid. “Hey, Cole. I’m Daiki.” 

“Hi!” The boy giggled, and hugged his mom’s leg. 

“It’s okay, honey.” 

“Do you want an autograph?” 

The boy nodded, and glanced at his mom. “Do you have a pen, Mommy?” 

“I don’t…” 

“No worries.” Daiki reached in his pocket and took out the sharpie he always carried nowadays. He’d gotten used to this situation over the years. It had been Satsuki’s idea. “Where do you want it?” 

“Here!” Cole pulled his jacket off, and turned around, pointing to his shirt. 

“Okay.” Daiki signed his name in kanji. He wanted to make it a thing. Plus he just didn’t like writing in romanized characters. _Nobody else has my signature, Satsuki._

“Thank you!” Cole beamed. “I love you so much! When I get big, I want to play in the MBA too!” 

“Hell yeah!” Daiki held his hand up for a high-five. “Do you love basketball?” 

“Uh huh! My mommy and daddy don’t like it very much, but I love it! My uncle showed me.” 

“What position to you play?” 

“Point guard!” 

“That’s amazing! You know what you gotta do?”

“What?”

“Practice really hard! And don’t let anything stop you. As long as you love it, play. I’ll be rooting for you. Maybe next time I see you, I’ll be getting your autograph.” 

“Really?” Cole hugged his jacket, tight to his chest. 

“Really. How old are you?”

“Seven and three quarters.” 

“Dang, you’re getting big!” 

“Yeah!” 

“Do you want a hug?” 

“Yeah!” The little boy practically jumped on him. 

Satsuki smiled, and rubbed her stomach absently while she watched. She couldn’t wait to raise these kids with him. 

“How far along are you?” Megan asked. 

“Thirty-eight weeks.” 

“Any day now, huh?” she smiled. She glanced at where Daiki was still talking to her son. “Those kids are going to be really lucky.” 

“Yeah.”

“Oi, Satsuki.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you take a picture for us?” 

“Of course.” 

“Mommy, you too!” Cole jumped up and down. “Daddy, you too!” He patted the man’s leg. “Daddy!”

“Not right now, Cole, I’m busy!” 

“But Daddy-”

“I told you I’m busy. Do you want Christmas?” 

“But…” 

“You know he’s trying to share a big moment with you, right?” Daiki stood up. 

“Butt out.” 

“David, it’s just a second.” 

“Megan, not now!” The two started bickering.

Daiki glanced at Satsuki and shook his head. He knelt back down to where the kid looked about to start crying. 

“Hey, it’s okay. My dad worked a lot too, but that’s okay. Don’t let it get you down. Your dad loves you a lot even if he’s busy a lot. Let’s do one of just the two of us first, okay?” 

Cole nodded, and smiled. Daiki put his arm around him, and smiled while Satsuki took a few photos on the kid’s phone. She couldn’t help but wonder why a seven year old had their own phone, but seeing as the parents were arguing, it was a good thing. Plus he’d have that picture with him forever. 

“Mommy?” Cole patted his mom’s leg. “It’s your turn.” 

“Okay, baby, just a second.” 

“Nope. We’re doing this now.” Daiki said, an edge to his voice. “We have to get going.” 

“Okay…” Megan glanced at Satsuki who made a show of her smile. It was starting to piss her off too. To both of their surprises, the kid’s dad had taken a moment break to pose with his kid. 

“Thank you!” Cole said taking his phone back. 

“Remember to practice!” Daiki said ruffling the kid’s hair. 

“I will! Bye! Merry Christmas!” 

“Merry Christmas.” 

“Thank you two so much. This made his life. Congratulations on the baby!” 

Daiki shook his head and walked over to Satsuki. “Let’s _never_ be like those parents.” 

“Never.” 

“You’re so good with him. And your dad did not work all the time. Plus he was always around for you.” 

Daiki shrugged. “Cole doesn’t need to know that. Come on, I want a corn dog.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment! 
> 
> Also who's ready for babies next chapter???


	25. Baby Time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm so excited about this chapter. Be warned though there's a lot in the birth scene. Gets pretty detailed.

Satsuki chewed her lip in her office as she stared at the clock. The contractions hadn’t stopped. They weren’t painful, but they were a bit more uncomfortable like when she was about to start her period. She was getting close. The meeting couldn’t come fast enough. She’d already gotten everything she needed to take home from the office, so she could just go straight home. She and Daiki had gotten as much ready as possible for the girls to arrive. She had the hospital bag in the car. Everything was going to plan once this was over. After this meeting, she wouldn’t return to work until after her maternity leave was over. It was so close. They were going to be parents any day now, actual parents, not just expecting. Their girls would be here, and they could hold them in their arms, see their little faces, and kiss them. She couldn’t wait. 

But it was also terrifying. She had an idea of what to expect for actually giving birth, and she wasn’t particularly excited about it. You could never fully be prepared for how much that would hurt. How long would it last? Were they going to be born healthy? Was there going to be a complication? Would she end up having a C-section? Would they latch? Would breastfeeding be too weird? Would she feel like a failure if she couldn’t do that? Would the babies love her? Would she be a good enough mom? Had she done enough to prepare? Would Daiki be okay? 

That was something that really worried her. Would Daiki be okay? She’d seen his lows, and when he hit a low, it was rock bottom. Things were a careful balance that she monitored meticulously. She knew him so well, she knew when things were going south. She’d need him more than ever once the kids were here. They’d be low on sleep, and high on stress. That was a given, and that could trigger a remission even with him taking his pills like clockwork. If something happened, she didn’t know how she’d take care of all three of them. It was hard enough taking care of him when he got like that. How would it be like with two newborns? He swore he’d be fine, but nobody plans depression. Honestly she spent every morning waking up holding her breath that he’d be okay that day. She had to force him to get out of bed and do something. But what if all she wanted to do was crawl into bed with him and sleep? 

“Mrs. Aomine, the meeting starts in ten minutes,” her secretary buzzed to her. 

She didn’t bother buzzing back. She’d see Anna when she walked out. She stood up, and checked herself in the mirror before starting to head out. A contraction started, that stopped her dead in her track. She could barely breathe. _That_ was real. 

She swallowed hard, and closed her eyes for a moment to think. This meeting was important. It was for a possible merger. If she messed this up, she might not even have a job to come back to. This was her baby. She was the one who’d proposed the plan, but it wasn’t like she could choose when her body decided to go into labor. If this was the first real contraction, she’d have time. She’d just time them, and if things moved too fast, she was sure that it wouldn’t be counted against her. But this was one of the cruel reasons women weren’t typically high up in companies. 

Babies. 

She took a deep breath, and walked out of her office. Anna was shopping online. Satsuki smiled, and shook her head. If it were anyone else, she would be getting a write up, but Satsuki let her do whatever she wanted as long as the work got done. That’s all that really mattered, right? 

“Anna?” 

“Yes?” 

“Can you please call my husband, and tell him to come up to the office now? I’ll need to leave as soon as the meeting is over.” 

“Is everything okay?” 

“Just call him, please. Tell him immediately. Make sure you get a hold of him.” 

“Okay,” Anna said hesitantly, picking up the phone. 

“Thank you, Anna.” 

She nodded, still not looking convinced that things were okay. Satsuki ignored it. She didn’t want to raise any flags at the moment. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, and thought about texting Daiki herself to keep him from worrying. She chewed her lip, and opened a new conversation. 

_I need you to be at my job when I get out of this meeting. I’m pretty sure it’s time. Don’t rush. Be careful. I’m going to finish the meeting if it kills me. But I need you here now._

Satsuki’s boss introduced her to the other company’s CEO and CFO. They shook hands, and exchanged pleasantries. She walked to the computer, and opened the powerpoint detailing the merge to help her presentation. She had to nail this merger. Then she could go have her children, and have the next six months off of work with a clear head. She didn’t have to focus on anything at all, and could just transition to being a mother. 

Her breath hitched again as a contraction hit. She closed her eyes and breathed through, trying hard not to look nervous or suspicious in the room full of men. She needed to be strong, needed to put a strong front up. She needed to represent the company in a strong, straightforward manner. That was the only option. Unless her water broke, she was not leaving this meeting. 

*****

Daiki took a long drink of water, the ball under his arm. Kagami had his hands on his hips, chest heaving violently. Daiki was amused. He didn’t find their game of one on one to be _that_ taxing. He put the water bottle down, and shoved the ball toward his friend with a smirk on his face. 

“Are you going to give up yet?” 

“I didn’t realize you were going to go all out,” Kagami choked out. 

Daiki shrugged and wiped his face with his shirt. “I don’t hold back. Not even when I’m playing the kids.” 

“That’s a lie.” 

“It’s not. Miles and Alex are just that good.” 

“Do you want to get something to eat?” 

“Does that mean you cave?” Daiki raised his brow.

“No, it means I’m hungry.” 

“You’re caving.” 

“I’m not.” 

“Sure.” 

“We’ll finish this.” 

“How can we finish when I finished it?” 

“Fuck you.” 

“No thanks. Ask Tetsu.” 

Kagami rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath. Daiki threw his stuff in his bag, and slung it over his shoulder before picking up his phone. He had three missed calls from Satsuki’s work, and a text. His heart skipped a beat.

“Where do you wanna go?” Kagami asked. 

“Uh...hold on.” 

“What’s wrong?”

Daiki held his hand up, and opened Satsuki’s message. 

_I need you to be at my job when I get out of this meeting. I’m pretty sure it’s time. Don’t rush. Be careful. I’m going to finish the meeting if it kills me. But I need you here now._

He dropped the bag from his shoulder. He read and reread the text trying to make sense of it. Did this mean that Satsuki was in labor? Should he show up sweaty? Would she care? 

“What?” Kagami peered over Daiki’s shoulder. “Wait...what...what does that mean?” 

“I think...I think it means she’s in labor.”

“But she’s going to a meeting?”

“It’s weird.” 

“Would she really finish the meeting?” 

“Yeah…” Daiki trailed off. “Hey, I’m gonna go take a quick shower. Like the quickest shower of my life, and go. I’ll text you.”

“Good luck! Congratulations!” Kagami called as Daiki ran to his car. 

*****

“Now if you’ll turn your attention to here to the profits of each company, you can see how a merger could increase it by at least double. We’ll use synergy to ensure that we keep the positive aspects of each company, while improving the negative. Overall productivity will increase by-” 

Satsuki gripped the podium tightly for what felt like the millionth time since the meeting started. She breathed through the contraction, and glanced at the clock. They were getting closer. She cleared her throat. 

“Excuse me. Like I was saying overall productivity will increase by an estimated seventy to one hundred percent. When you crunch the numbers it’s obvious that merging with our company is the best choice.” 

Another contraction gripped her. That hadn’t even been five minutes from the last one. Satsuki stared at the clock, trying to keep the smile on her face. She had to remain composed. If she faltered even a minute amount, this could fall through. 

“Any questions?” 

She almost breathed a sigh of relief when none were asked. She rushed to sit down, and rubbed her temples as her boss got up to deliver his part of the proposition. She hoped Daiki was already here. Or that he’d at least gotten the message. He was supposed to go play with Kagami today. What if he didn’t get the text or the calls? She glanced around, noting that everyone was paying attention to her boss talk about business restructuring. She pulled her phone out, and glanced at the screen. Daiki had sent her a text confirming he was on his way. A particularly strong contraction hit causing her to let out a quick groan before she was able to hold it back. Everyone’s heads turned to her. 

“Are you okay, Mrs. Aomine?” her boss asked, his eyes blazing. 

“Yes, I’m fine. I apologize.” 

One of the men sitting next to her glanced at her, then down to her swollen belly. “You sure, you’re good?” 

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry.” Satsuki forced a smile. 

The man’s eyes lingered on her for a moment before turning his attention back to the front of the room. How much longer until this meeting was over? She was in active labor. That much was obvious. The contractions were at most five minutes apart. Her water hadn’t broken yet, but that didn’t mean anything. Akari was already tightly engaged, and had been for the last two weeks. Painfully so. She could hardly walk without looking ridiculous. She could feel her purse vibrate slightly. She knew who it was, and she hated that she couldn’t answer. She wanted nothing more than to leave, but she was going to close this account. 

Finally her boss stopped talking. Satsuki breathed a sigh of relief. Now it was the discussion. She begged every higher power in the world to make this short and sweet. She didn’t want to give birth without an epidural. She learned that sometimes the medicine would wear off in the pushing stage, and she wouldn’t have time to push the button which scared her beyond belief. She did not want to get to the hospital to be told it was too late. She turned her head and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. It hurt. Bad. And it was getting worse with each hard contraction. 

She tried to stay engaged in the conversation. It was so much back and forth, and she could barely choke her responses out. They kept looking at her like she was a mutant. She closed her eyes, breathing through the hardest contraction yet. 

“Mrs. Aomine?” 

She opened her eyes, to find that everyone had their eyes on her. That was when she realized the papers crumpled in her hand, and the pencil snapped in her fist. She dropped it, and smiled. 

“Yes, I’m okay.” 

“Are you sure?” Her boss narrowed his eyes. 

“Yes. I’m sure. I’m just in labor, so if we could just get back to this business proposition and stop focusing on me, that would be amazing.” 

She couldn’t believe she’d just said that. She wanted to disappear. How could she have been so stupid? They were going to send her out of the room now. She was going to do a walk of shame. Everything she’d been in charge of the last few months was going to go up in flames. All credit would go to her boss because she left the room. 

“Tell me, Mr. Jones, is it normal practice at this company to force women to be in meetings while in labor?” 

“No, I-” 

“No, sir!” Satsuki chimed in. “It’s not that. I have been working hard on finding the best solution for our companies to move forward. I am very passionate about this merge proposition, and feel like this is best for both companies. I just told my little girls to stay in there until Mommy scores a deal.” 

She smiled sweetly. The men turned back to her boss. 

“Now _that_ is the commitment we’re looking for. I think we have ourselves a deal. I cannot wait for the future of our companies. And let’s not ever get to this point that a woman has to sit through a meeting in labor in the future.” 

“I can assure you that will not be the case.” 

“Thank you so much, Mr. Davison.” Satsuki smiled. 

The four shook hands, and her boss made an arrangement for a meeting to hash out the details. It was going to be a long process. 

“I can join the meeting via web if that’s sufficient, Mr. Jones.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Satsuki. Enjoy your twins. I hope everything goes well.” 

“Thank you sir!” 

She tried not to rush out of the room, but her heart was swelling with joy and hear stomach twisting with anxiety. When she saw Daiki pacing in the hall, she almost started crying. She quickened her pace, and froze when she started feeling a steady trickle of warm liquid pouring from her. Her eyes were wide. She knew her water had just broke. If Akari moved more, she knew the floodgates would open. 

“Satsuki!” Daiki pulled her into a hug. “How are you feeling?” 

“My water just broke,” she breathed, staring up at him. 

She could practically hear his mouth dry. He froze too. He took a deep breath, and nodded. 

“Okay, okay, um, I’ll, you stay here! I’ll bring the car around.” 

“Daiki.”

“Are you okay? Are you sure you have everything? Do we need to call the hospital?”

“Daiki.” 

“I’ll get the car.”

“Daiki,” Satsuki said taking his hand. 

“What?”

“Breathe. We’ll be okay.” 

“Right.” 

“But, yes, please get the car.” 

“Okay.” 

“And I really want to get something to eat before we go to the hospital because once I’m there, I can’t eat. I need my strength. I haven’t eaten since noon.” 

“Satsuki, it’s six o’clock.” 

“I know. Now go get the car.” 

He nodded. Satsuki laughed softly as he literally ran out of the building. It was going to be okay. Everything was going to be just fine. 

*****

Satsuki had changed out of her work clothes in a hospital gown. They’d started an IV, and hooked her up to fluids. They’d checked how the twins were doing, and placed a monitor on Satsuki to keep track of the contractions, and make sure the the girls were tolerating the birthing process. The nurse did a digital check, noting that Satsuki was at four and a half centimeters, fully effaced. Close, but not close enough. She’d left telling Satsuki to let her know when she wanted the epidural. 

Daiki tried to keep his cool, but he couldn’t sit still. He couldn’t stop pacing. Satsuki was doing great. He needed to get a grip before he wore off on her. She was probably already scared and nervous as hell. She didn’t need his anxious energy. But he couldn’t help it. This was real. They were going to have their children. They were going to be parents. He hoped and prayed that Satsuki and the twins made it through a safe, healthy delivery, and he hoped that it would be easy for Satsuki. He hated that Satsuki had to be the one to go through this. The thought of what that labor simulator felt like sent a shiver down his spine. She was going through that now. For real. Her contractions were every couple minutes now. Every hitched breath, every whimper, every tear that escaped her eyes killed him. He just wanted to trade places. She’d gone through so much for him. Just once he wanted to take some of that, but he never could. Not in the last seven years had he been able to take even an ounce of her pain away. 

“Dai-chan?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Come sit with me,” Satsuki said holding out her hand. 

He did as she requested, but his body was stiff. He played with the hospital bracelet they’d put on his wrist when they checked in. It’d have the same number on it as Satsuki and the twins. The thought of a hospital band on a baby just sounded so crazy. Did they even make them that small? Of course they did, but it was hard to imagine. Their daughters were going to have little hospital bands with pink baby footprints. It seemed so surreal. 

“Calm down,” Satsuki whispered taking his hand. She laid against him, and played with his hand. 

“I’m trying.” 

“You know you’re not the one that’s going to have to push two babies out of your body right?” she smirked.

“Well, yeah, just…” He shrugged. “I’m just worried about you.” 

“I’m okay. I’m tough, remember?” 

“Yeah…” He chewed his lip. “So when are you going to get your epidural?” 

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Before the pushing part. That’s what I don’t want to feel.” 

“Aren’t you tired?” 

“Yeah, but it’s okay.” 

“You should get some sleep.” 

“I can’t with these stupid contractions.” 

She inhaled sharply, and buried her face in his chest while she squeezed his hand. It killed him. Every contraction killed him. But she was strong. She was bringing their children into this world. She was the strongest, most amazing, most loving person on this planet. Always so selfless. He loved her. God, he loved her. 

*****

“Seven centimeters. You’re doing great!” The nurse smiled at Satsuki. “Can I get you anything?”

“Can I get the epidural now?” Satsuki whimpered. 

“Of course. I’ll page them.” 

Satsuki thanked her, and buried her face back into Daiki’s chest. She let out a soft cry. She’d been in active labor for ten hours now. She hadn’t slept in close to twenty-four hours. The contractions weren’t letting up. It was getting to be too much. She couldn’t talk. Daiki massaged her back, whispering encouragement to her while she was quickly unraveling. She went back and forth between wanting nothing more than to curl up in him or push him away. She wanted to be comforted, but she didn’t want to be touched. She was hot. So fucking hot. 

How could she only be seven centimeters? How? She had been contracting the last week or so. Who cares if they weren’t real? It was constant. Shouldn’t that have opened her up? And the last ten hours were grating on her. She wanted it to be over. She wanted to just be holding their twins now. She wanted to see their little faces. She wanted to throw in the towel and tell the nurse she couldn’t do this and to just cut them out.

“You’re so amazing,” Daiki whispered. 

“Shut up,” she whispered back through tears. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Please don’t touch me.” 

“Okay.” Daiki’s hands fell to his sides. 

She hated this. She just wanted the girls out. She wanted to be done. It was too much. It hurt too much. In all the years of research, of watching people deliver babies, or reading first hand and having people tell her about what it was like, nothing had prepared her for how much it hurt. She was exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. And she hadn’t even started pushing! That was when the real work was going to come in. 

A particularly strong contraction had her jolting up, and grabbing the barf bag as she emptied her stomach of bile and water. Satsuki trembled as tears poured down her cheeks. Daiki handed her a washcloth, and took the bag from her. He stood up, and walked to bathroom on the opposite side of the room to throw the bag away, and wet a washcloth with cold water. Satsuki took it from him gratefully. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“For what?” she asked, her voice trembling.

“For putting you through this.” He struggled to meet her eyes. “You’re suffering so much, and there’s nothing I can do to help you.” 

Satsuki blinked. Why was he even apologizing? They’d spent six years trying desperately to get pregnant. They’d suffered a miscarriage. They’d given up completely on ever being parents, and adopted kittens that Satsuki’s heart broke over not being able to play with them the way she wanted. They’d talked about this. They’d had the conversation to have kids. Neither of them went into this thinking pregnancy and childbirth was easy or pleasant. They just wanted to be parents. Satsuki wanted to give him children. She wanted to make his dreams of being a father come true. She wanted to spend the next eighteen years raising their children with him.

“Don’t,” Satsuki whispered. 

“It’s just how I feel is all. You’re in so much pain. You’ve thrown up now several times. I just want to help you feel better.” 

She leaned over and kissed him before taking his hand. “Being here is all I need. You’re doing your best. I’m okay. I promise. I’m just really tired and hungry. We both knew this wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience, but it’s necessary for our little girls to come into the world, okay? Don’t feel bad. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She kissed him again. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

A knock on the door, and the anesthesiologist and her nurse walked into the room. Satsuki almost started crying tears of relief. He instructed her to sit on the edge of the bed, and hug a pillow. He made Daiki sit in a chair near the wall out of view. Apparently dads have passed out in the past when they see their partner getting a needle shoved in their back, and a catheter being passed through. As he found the right space, Satsuki was afraid to breathe. He told her not to move. What if a really strong contraction came? If the moved even a millimeter out of place, it could paralyze her forever. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

It felt like a bee sting as the needle went through, followed by some unnerving tapping sensations as the catheter was threaded through. He placed a large piece of film tape over her back, and started up the medication. Instantly the pain disappeared. Her legs felt heavy and numb. She could still feel the contractions, but they weren’t painful. Suddenly all of the exhaustion of the last now eleven hours were catching up to her. The nurse did a quick check confirming she hadn’t dilated any further. Satsuki whimpered, but laid against Daiki who was now back in the bed with her. 

She was out before the door even closed.

*****

Satsuki woke up to painful contractions and her nurse gently shaking her awake. She glanced up, and realized she and Daiki had both been asleep. She glanced at the clock. Five hours. She rubbed her eyes, and rolled over for the nurse to check her again. Satsuki took the button for the epidural and pushed it to deliver another dose. Mid-contraction, the pain disappeared again. Her nurse looked up at her with a smile. 

“Wake Dad up. We’re having your babies.” 

“What?” Satsuki said with a laugh as tears filled her eyes. 

“You’re fully dilated! It’s time. I’m going to get let the doctor know.” 

“Okay.” 

Satsuki’s heart skipped a beat. It was almost over. Soon they’d have their little girls in their arms. Relief washed over her. She shook Daiki awake. He groaned as he stretched before smiling at her. 

“Hey. How are you feeling?” 

“It’s time to start pushing,” Satsuki smiled. 

What followed next was a blur. There were so many people in the room now. Dr. Adams was dressed in a blue gown and hat with green gloves and a facemask with a shield. They put her feel in the stirrups, and detached the edge of the bed. The raised up the head of the bed so she was almost sitting. 

“Can you feel anything?” 

Satsuki shook her head. 

“Okay. Then I’m going to tell you when to start pushing, okay?” 

“Okay,” Satsuki said with a trembling voice as the fear started to settle in. 

“Okay. Push.” 

*****

“Push, push, push!” Dr. Adams encouraged. “You’re doing great, Mama.” 

Satsuki fell back against the bed. She’d been at this for an hour and a half now. She knew one of the downsides to an epidural was that it could make the pushing less effective. Now she was regretting pressing that button before this started. She was so exhausted. But the epidural was fading. Fast. While it simultaneously terrified her, she was filled with relief. She could push better, and get these babies out of her. The desperation for them to be out was on hyperdrive. 

“Okay, one more. Keep it up!” 

Satsuki whimpered as she went right back in. Daiki was sitting next the bed trying his best to comfort her and encourage her. It wasn’t working. Nothing they were doing was working. Her body had taken over, but her head was still racing with fear. The pain was ridiculous. She could feel the stretching. 

“Okay, I see your baby’s hair. We’ll have her out in a few more pushes, okay?” 

“Really?” Satsuki said through tears.

“Really.” 

Satsuki was filled with motivation. Her pushes were more focused, more purposeful. She was on fire. The room filled with lusty cries. Daiki jumped up, and kissed Satsuki, tears pouring down his face. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered. “God, I love you so much.” 

She smiled at him through her own tears. “I love you.” 

“You want to cut the cord, Daiki?” Dr. Adams smiled. 

“Uh, yeah, okay.” 

Satsuki watched him cut it with shaking hands before Dr. Adams wrapped her up, and passed the baby over to the nurse to get measurements on. Satsuki watched with wide eyes. Her baby was here. Their baby was here. She did it. 

“Six pounds, fifteen ounces. Nineteen inches long. Congratulations.”

The nurse handed Akari to Daiki. They’d had the plan for months. Satsuki wanted Daiki to be the first to hold them. For one thing, she’d probably be a little busy giving birth to Sora, and delivering the placenta and possibly getting stitched up. She was exhausted. She was the one who’d carried the twins. She’d had them with her every second of every minute of the day for the last nine months. Daiki got to feel them occasionally, but it wasn’t the same. It was his idea to have kids. She wanted him to hold them first. She wanted him to feel like a dad as much as she felt like a mom from day one. 

She watched him take her a bit awkwardly, and hold her close to him. He stared at her with his mouth slightly parted open. There was something written all over his face she’d never seen before. He just stared at Akari. He was holding his breath. Satsuki smiled, tears filling her eyes. Fatherhood looked so good on him. 

And then the pushing started again. Twenty minutes later, Sora’s cries were filling the room. Satsuki fell back against the bed, tears of relief falling down her cheeks. It was over. The hard part was finished. She glanced down between her legs to catch a glimpse of her second daughter. Dr. Adams and the nurse were staring at her with shock on their face. Satsuki’s heart sank. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Dr. Adams smiled. “It’s just somebody was shy.” 

“What?” Satsuki and Daiki glanced at each other. 

Dr. Adams held the baby up. “Sora’s a boy.” 

“What?” Daiki and Satsuki said at the same time. 

“Congratulations, you have a beautiful baby boy. Do you want to cut the cord, Daiki?” 

“No…” Daiki breathed. “I’m in too much shock. A boy?” 

“Yes, a boy,” Dr. Adams laughed. “Merry Christmas.” 

“Wow.” 

The nurse took Sora to the warmer, and took measurements. Seven pounds even. Nineteen inches. Only one ounce different. Satsuki’s eyes could barely stay open to watch Daiki hold their son. It was all she could do to stay awake long enough to deliver the placentas. As soon as she was done, she fell asleep, not waiting to see if she needed to be stitched up. 

*****

A boy. 

Daiki was awestruck. A boy. A boy! He stared down at Sora in his arms as he slept. It didn’t feel real. None of this felt real. Akari was sleeping in the bassinet next to them. Satsuki was passed out from exhaustion. He wanted to sleep with his little family, but he was so scared that he’d wake up and it’d all be gone. That was something he often thought about. What if it was all a dream and he’d wake up in his room back in Tokyo, seventeen and secretly in love with his best friend? 

The twins were perfect, absolutely perfect. Akari was a splitting image of her mother, while Sora looked more like Daiki. Their skin tone was somewhere in the middle, and their hair was a soft black. Their eyes were a blue grey for the moment. He wondered what eye color they’d have. What would they look like as they got older? 

Everything was so surreal. He’d cried until he couldn’t cry anymore. His love for Satsuki has grown exponentially. Love. God, that was nothing compared to how much he loved these babies. They looked in his eye and he was gone. 

*****

Satsuki woke up to Daiki passed out awkwardly in the chair by her bed. Of course he could sleep anywhere, any time, any place, but it looked uncomfortable. She was interested in what complaints he would have to add to his evidence of being old when he woke up. But he knew how to stretch what he needed to stretch. She smiled, and turned on her side. She cringed at the feeling of the pooled blood shifting with her body. She’d forgotten what that felt like. She slowly sat up, wincing as she did so. She tried to reach over to pick up the twins, but the uncomfortable tugging telling of stitches was too much. She laid back in the bed and pushed the nurse call button. She wanted to do her skin to skin time now. 

The nurse came in, and checked her pad for hemorrhaging. Satsuki had been only half awake when she’d come to check the last few hours. Then she did the most painful thing: Uterine massage. Once Satsuki was sufficiently uncomfortable, she helped put the twins on Satsuki’s chest.

The twins fit perfectly against Satsuki’s chest. No other baby she’d ever held fit so perfectly. It was as if they were specifically carved from her own body. They were the missing puzzle pieces in their family. How had they lived before these two? How could they live without them? What would life be like with them? How was it possible to love so much? 

Her body wracked with sobs. She’d thought this day would never come. She buried her face in their hair and sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment! <3


	26. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS IT'S THE END I'M SOBBING
> 
> I cannot believe we're at the end. Just so y'all know, I'm going to continue this with little one shots. I actually am going to make this a series for this AU, so keep on the look out for that. There's more with the twins and I'm gonna add some before this like when they get together and their wedding. Thank every single one of you for reading and supporting me. <3

Exhausted didn’t even begin to describe what Satsuki was feeling. All she wanted to do was curl up in the hospital bed and sleep, but she couldn’t. Not between the constant checks, the pain and discomfort, and the twins waking up to be fed or changed. She hadn’t even had a chance to shower. And god, she was starving. She glanced at her phone wondering when Daiki was going to be back with food. He was also going to swing by the store to pick some things up for Sora since they’d planned on two girls. Satsuki had given him full reign in that department. She didn’t know if he’d be able to find anything open on Christmas though. He insisted that he’d find something. As happy as she was to have a son, Daiki was over the moon. She’d never seen him that happy before. But she wished he’d get back soon.

The twins were sleeping in their bassinets. They’d passed their hearing screens with flying colors, and had gotten their shot that morning. It’d killed her to hear them cry like that, but she knew it was good for them. There were plenty of bad unpleasant things that were necessary. Still. Everything was going well. Their blood sugar levels were perfect. They loved their bath she and Daiki had gotten to do that morning. They loved cuddles and sleep. They were doing a great job eating. 

She’d been so scared the first time she tried to put them to breast. What would it be like? Was it weird? It was awkward as hell. Sora had been the first to want to eat. She couldn’t figure out how to hold him properly, and support her breast. He was getting frustrated. She was getting frustrated. And when he finally latched, she was sure he was going to pull off her nipples. It was uncomfortable. It hurt when they didn’t latch properly. She cramped so much. And there was something weird about how she felt. It was almost embarrassing that in a weird way, it felt good. She had shut it down right there when that happened. She was not going to get _that_ feeling around her children. She wasn’t. She’d just asked for a bottle immediately, and handed Sora to Daiki feeling like a completely failure as a mom that she couldn’t feed her children. 

She and the lactation nurse had a long talk about the experience. Satsuki had cried the whole time. Daiki had stayed silent throughout, just glancing at her with a blank face. She knew he probably just didn’t want to make it worse, but in a way she couldn’t help thinking that maybe he was judging her for it. She was supposed to be able to breastfeed just like she was supposed to be able to get pregnant. But she couldn’t. That hurt. But she had gotten pregnant. She had two beautiful babies. The nurse reminded her that. She had said that if Satsuki really wanted to breastfeed, they’d keep trying together. They’d get the hang of it. Satsuki had agreed, and things did get better, but she still didn’t know how she felt about it, or how long she’d do it. The twins seemed to not mind either way, and if she was at least giving them breastmilk, wasn’t that good enough? When she’d asked Daiki he’d said, “As long as they get fed, Satsuki.” It hadn’t been what she’d wanted to hear. It wasn’t helpful. But knowing he didn’t judge her helped her feel better. 

It was strange being a mom though. It still didn’t feel real. Her body was telling her it was real. Her vagina and perineum hurt like hell. She was cramping. Her breasts were tender. Her muscles were sore. Her heart swelled a million times its size when she saw the twins or thought about them. But it felt weird. It wasn’t what she’d expected. Daiki seemed to be transitioning much more smoothly. He wasn’t scared to pick them up. He’d jump on the chance to change them or feed them. Even with dark circles of sleep under his eyes, he was all smiles and talked so excitedly about them. Satsuki was more than happy to hand them over to him for a diaper change. Handing them to him to top them off after a breastfeeding attempt was liberating. 

She loved them. She did. But she didn’t feel like she was a natural like he was. He’d always been good with kids. Even when he was a broody little sixteen year old with a bad attitude, right when his depression reared its ugly head. He’d put on a smile and play with them. When Tetsu and Kagami first got Miles placed with them, he’d been a jumpy mess. Miles was skittish, scared, nervous, and really didn’t want to be around anybody. But Daiki had walked in, smiled at him, said hi, and sat on the couch. Miles cautiously went to him, and the rest was history. Daiki said he figured he’d just treat Miles like he would a scared animal. Give him space, but let him know he was a safe person. Everyone else had been trying so hard to calm the boy down. Daiki’d been Miles’ favorite person since that day. When they got Alex, he was a natural. Made fun of Kagami and Tetsu because they were so timid. Of course it would come naturally to him. Satsuki had always felt a bit awkward around kids until her friends had kids. Then she was exposed to them enough to feel more comfortable. She thought she’d feel natural with her own kids, but she didn’t. Everything was so new. She felt like she’d never been around a baby before. But maybe she just needed rest. 

The door swung open, and Daiki hobbled his way into the room carrying bags on each arm, and a drink in each hand. He smiled at her as he kicked the door closed. They both tensed when the twins jumped. 

“You should be more careful,” Satsuki said softly. 

“Sorry. Also sorry I took so long. Here.” 

She took the drink and bag of food from him before ravenging it like she hadn’t eaten in years. Giving birth was hard. Breastfeeding was hard. They both burned a shit ton of calories. It made her thirsty and hungry on a whole new level. 

“I see you found a store that was open.” 

“Yeah. Was able to buy the nurses and doctors lunch too. Had to drive to Santa Monica.” Daiki set his food down, and set the bags on the little cot they had for him to sleep on. “Do you want to see everything I got for Sora?” 

“You’re dedicated. Sure,” she smiled. 

“Okay. First, I’m going to show you what I think his first outfit should be and his going home outfit, okay?” He was practically giddy with excitement. 

“Okay.” 

He dug into one of the bags and pulled out a black and red onesie, and held it up with a huge grin. Satsuki almost rolled her eyes. Of course he’d go out and buy baby Jordan stuff. It was cute. A little red and black onesie version of Michael Jordan’s jersey. This was exactly why he’d wanted a son. She knew it. 

“So this one is?” 

“First outfit. Oh! And it goes with these.” He held up a little matching hat and socks that looked like mini Jordans. “Cute, right?” 

Satsuki giggled. “Why did I not know you were going to do this?” 

He shrugged. “This is the going home outfit.”

“A baby Jordan tracksuit?” Satsuki grinned. “Really?”

“It’s cold outside, Satsuki.” 

“You’re too much.” She laughed softly. 

“You don’t like it?” 

“No, I didn’t say that. I do. It’s very you.” 

“I hope that’s a good thing.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Oh! And I figured for the nursery, we should sprouse it up a little for a boy. Like maybe half and half? I bought some decals for the walls. I don’t know you’ll like them.” 

“They’re going to spend most of the time in our room at first.” 

“I know, but still.” 

“I think you can do whatever you want. I’ll give you whatever you want. But Akari is my territory.” 

“Agreed.” 

“Eat your food before it gets cold.” 

Daiki nodded, and grabbed his food before plopping down on the cot. Satsuki glanced at her lap for a moment. 

“Sit with me.” 

Daiki nodded, going over to her. She went to move over, but instead he just sat at the foot of the bed. He stared at their kids for a moment, still not touching his food. Satsuki silently begged him to eat, to pay attention to her because she didn’t want to feel bad anymore about wanting to let them sleep in their bed when he always was scooping them up. 

“It’s amazing, huh?” he breathed. “They’re here.”

“Yeah,” Satsuki smiled, and stared at their twins. She glanced back at Daiki who was finally eating. “Dai-chan?” 

“Hm?” 

“What if I don’t want to breastfeed?” 

Daiki stared at her for a moment. He set his food down, and leaned across the bed to wrap his arm around her and kiss her forehead. He pulled back and smiled at her. 

“Then don’t.” 

“I know, but it’s just breastfeeding is supposed to be so good for babies. And I read so much about it.” She brushed the tears from her eyes. “It feels weird though. And I don’t want to feel any stirrings of anything from my children, okay? I don’t. I just want to do what’s best.” 

“Hey,” he said softly. He moved closer to her, and pulled her into a hug. “They’re my kids, Satsuki. They don’t care what they eat as long as they eat. You’re not particularly picky either. And there are a lot of good things about bottle feeding. We know they’re getting food. You know breast milk takes a bit to come in sometimes. There’s a lower chance for jaundice and dehydration. They’re happy, Satsuki. They’re newborns. They eat, sleep, and poop. So long as their tummies are full, they’ll sleep, and if they’re eating, they’ll poop. That’s it. Fits the job requirement, you know?” 

Satsuki played with her blanket for a moment while she pondered what he’d said. Why was he so good to her? How had she gotten so lucky? There were so many men who would judge her, who would push what they wanted on her, but he was sitting here supporting whatever choices she had when it came to their journey to parenthood. He let her make the choices when they were trying fertility treatments. He let her choose what kind, how many tries, and how often. He didn’t try to sway her from what she wanted to do as far as a birth plan. Why would he judge her about breastfeeding? Still it worried her. 

“I don’t like it. I don’t want to do it.” 

“Then bottles it is. Good thing about that too is more sleep for you. You’re exhausted Satsuki.” 

“I know.” She brushed the tears off her face. “I am. And I feel so bad because I’m too tired to hold them. I feel like I should be not wanting to get enough of them. I hear so many moms talking about how they never wanted to put their kids down. I’m scared if I hold them, I’ll drop them. And they’re so small. They’d get hurt. And I just feel like...like...like I’m drowning.” 

“Sa-chan, they’re not even twelve hours old,” he said softly. 

Sa-chan? That caught her attention. Daiki had never really been big on nicknames. Satsuki was good enough for him to call her. He wasn’t the softest guy around. She’d talked to him once when they were engaged about calling her something cuter or using English terms of endearment. He’d gotten flustered by it. Over the years, he’d randomly thrown in the English words to mirror her, but rarely. Never a nickname. 

“Sa...chan?” she breathed back. 

“I, uh, um, I,” he stuttered. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I love it actually.” 

“Oh...okay. Well what I’m saying is, they’re still new. You’ve just given birth. You’ve barely had time to rest from that. They keep coming in and doing their checks to make sure you’re okay. Neither of us has slept much in the last thirty-six hours. I know I’m exhausted and I didn’t even do all the work. And it’s okay if you don’t want to hold them all the time right now. You need to get some rest.” 

Just then Sora and Akari both started to stir. The couple glanced at their kids for a moment to see if they were going to cry. Both blinked their eyes open and stared around them. Satsuki’s heart melted. How were they so perfect? How were they able to just lay there when their parents’ worlds were standing still? 

“The game!” Daiki gasped. 

“What?” 

“The Christmas game!” 

“Oh,” Satsuki laughed. 

Daiki inhaled the rest of his food, and grabbed the remote by Satsuki to tune into the basketball game. Satsuki hated when Daiki’s team had to play it. She was happy to know this year she didn’t have to worry about it. And usually they’d be able to have the mornings together before he had a game. If they didn’t play, they always watched the game. It’d been a pastime. He helped her to the side of the bed before he scooped up the twins, and sat down. He sat them in his lap facing the television. 

“Okay, so you two have the best birthday because you always get a game on Christmas. I know you probably can’t see that far, but we’re gonna watch it anyway. Mommy and Daddy love it. This is a basketball family, okay? None of that soccer crap you were trying to play with Mommy’s organs.”

“Dai-chan…” Satsuki laughed, shaking her head before she went back to her Chinese.

“I’m trying to establish how it works out here. Damn, woman.” He shook his head with a grin. “Oh, okay, little kids, that guy, number 19, we hate him. He’s a meanie. And that guy right there? 3? That guy’s really cool, but kind of sucks. And that one...”

Satsuki smiled to herself while Daiki explained who they did and did not like, as well as different moves. It was so cute. She could see their future. She finished her food, tossed the carton in the trash, and leaned against Daiki to watch the game. She didn’t last more than a second before she was out.

*****

Daiki stared at the ceiling of the hospital room while he thought about what life would be like with the twins. Would their plan work? He was supposed to be the primary caregiver at home for their kids, but just because he didn’t work a steady schedule didn’t exactly mean he had an abundance of free time. He had more than when he first started, but he still wasn’t sure about logistics. He still had to keep up with training even if he was taking the season off. There was no way he wasn’t going to come back in peak condition. That was just the short term. It didn’t take into consideration that when he went back for the season, he’d be busy. There wasn’t just training. It was practice, games, training, film review, strategizing, traveling, charities, and events. He wanted to be there for his kids. 

He’d had a good run. His dreams came true at nineteen. Everything he’d worked for was a reality. And he got Satsuki, the one thing he never thought would happen did. They got married. They started a family. When he looked back on the last ten years, the things he cared about most was in this room. It was Satsuki and the two perfect kids they’d made. He skipped training, practice, and events to go to doctors appointments and fertility treatments. The coaches grumbled about it, but because he stayed in peak condition, they turned a blind eye. His priority was Satsuki and their family. And if he ever had to choose, it’d be no contest. His family would always win. 

He understood where Satsuki was coming from with being pulled between work and their kids. They didn’t want their kids in daycare. They’d tried so hard to have these kids. They didn’t want them in a cesspool of germs. They wanted to raise them bilingual. What daycare would teach them Japanese? They needed to be around it. They didn’t want their kids to lose part of their identity. He’d agreed to this. He’d made his mind up. He was going to be with his kids. If he had to skip all the PR bullshit, he was going to skip it. He was going to focus on basketball as far as career was concerned and that was it. He could do the training later in the day when Satsuki was home or Tetsu was off work. 

Kagami always did his conditioning first thing in the morning, and spent the majority of the day just practicing until practice or Tetsu and the kids came home, so maybe they could trade off. Kagami had more PR to do than Daiki. They milked the shit out of him being openly gay. Tetsu said it was annoying because it was clearly pandering to make it look like they gave a shit about LGBT issues. Kagami thought it was good to break the barriers and stigma around sports. Daiki understood where Tetsu was coming from. None of the other guys had to do that. Everyone else it was all about their skill and philanthropy. It was stupid, but most of that was during the day. Daiki could plan his routine around that. Or they could see if they could drop the kids off in Tetsu’s class for a bit. He could probably take them to practice if they stayed in the bleachers. Maybe they could hire someone to watch the twins in the gaps. Off season, he was all theirs. That was for sure. 

Why couldn’t Satsuki just let him retire? Because he’d regret it. She knew he’d just glare at the television all day when the games were on. Probably fight Kagami on the daily. Satsuki knew him. He could get moody about that. Still, he wished he could just retire for the kids’ sake. Why was it so goddamn aggravating? 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw a text from his mom. Apparently they were about three hours from LAX. He glanced at the time and yawned. He’d finally gotten the twins changed, fed, and asleep while Satsuki showered and got dressed in normal clothes. Now she was soundly asleep again. The room was just full of silent breathing. He stood up and watched them for a moment. Satsuki was in a little ball, her hair everywhere. He let out a soft laugh, and kissed her on the head. He could just imagine the hair in his face back home. He stared at the twins. How was it real? How? Akari stirred in her sleep, and let out a soft whimper. Daiki picked up her, and held her close. 

“We’re not going to wake up Mommy or Sora, okay? Let’s go hang out over here.” 

He laid down on the small cot, and laid Akari on his chest. She stared up at him with big blue grey eyes. His heart melted. Looking at his daugher, feeling her on his chest, all he could think of was how much he already loved being a father. Nothing else mattered but these kids and that strong, beautiful woman he married. He kissed Akari’s forehead. Her little eyes blinked slowly until they closed. Daiki smiled, and covered his eyes with his arm. He could rest his eyes for a few minutes before he went to pick up his parents.

*****

It still didn’t feel real. The twins were finally here, and they had their baby boy. How had she gone to so many appointments, and they’d never seen Sora had a penis? It was crazy. She knew those things happened, but you’d think with the technology that it wouldn’t be missed. However it was missed, and they were surprised with this perfect baby boy. They had their perfect girl and their perfect boy. Somehow it made everything complete. They’d wanted a son, got one with a miscarriage. Then they were going to have two girls, so they’d have one boy and two girls even if they couldn’t see their little boy grow up or ever hold him in their arms. But now they had a boy and a girl, one of each, alive and well in their arms. 

Satsuki stared down at her sleeping son. The green pacifier looked so big in his little mouth. Daiki was passed out on the small couch with Akari on his chest. Though they were in a hospital room, it felt like they were home. Still Satsuki couldn’t wait until they went home. What would they feel like? What would it be like to go into the nursery and actually have their children to put in the cribs? They could read the books they’d bought to them, the same ones they’d read to them while they were inside, the same ones they’d planned way back in the beginning. 

A soft knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. She glanced up expecting it to be the nurse coming to check her pad again to make sure she wasn’t hemorrhaging, or to do the dreaded fundal massage, only to see her parents walk in followed closely by Daiki’s. Satsuki smiled at them from the bed. 

“Hi,” Satsuki said softly. 

“Hi!” Satsuki’s mom was at her side in a moment, pulling her into a hug. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to be here. How was it? How’d it go? How are you feeling?” 

Satsuki let out a soft laugh. “It’s okay. They only let one person in during labor, and I wanted it to be Daiki anyway. It was okay, I mean it was awful, but it was okay. Everything went super smoothly and I didn’t have to have a c-section. Sora wasn’t breech. It was the best delivery I could have hoped for. I’m still really sore though.” 

“That’s gonna last a while,” Daiki’s mom said gently before she smacked Daiki’s shoulder, waking him up. 

“Don’t! You could have hit Akari!” Satsuki snapped. 

“It wasn’t hard. It was a tap. And I was careful,” she said with a smile. 

Daiki rubbed his eyes. “Oh, hi.” 

“Don’t oh, hi. You were supposed to pick us up from the airport.” 

“Mei, it’s fine. They just had the twins.” 

“No, _Satsuki_ had the twins. He just sat there.” Mei sighed. “Men, am I right? They don’t do any of the hard part, and take the credit.” 

“Sorry,” Daiki muttered, not moving from where he was laying. 

Satsuki rolled her eyes. She was glad she had a little girl. She couldn’t think of how it’d be to be an exclusive boy mom by watching the exchange through the years she’d known the Aomines. It honestly seemed exhausting. 

“Give me that child,” Mei said, gently taking Akari off her son’s chest. “Oh, goodness, she’s absolutely precious.” 

“Thanks,” Daiki said, his voice still groggy with sleep. “We made her ourselves.” 

Mei rolled her eyes, going to smack him again, but he somehow dodged it. Satsuki as she watched them crowd around their granddaughter. She glanced down at Sora. He was gonna be their little surprise. She stroked his soft black hair, and stared at his perfect face. She couldn’t wait until they met him, officially. 

“Do you guys want to meet Sora?” Satsuki beamed. 

“Of course!” Satsuki’s mom rushed over, and sat down next to her. 

“Sora…” Mei shook her head. “I swear to god, naming a girl with a masculine name. It’s not right.” 

“How’s anyone here supposed to know that, Ma?” Daiki laughed. 

“Oh hush.” She shook her head, and turned to meet her grandson. Satsuki wanted to laugh. She made eye contact with Daiki and gave him a little nod. 

“Would you mind changing Sora? I’m still pretty sore, and I’m sure you would love to be inducted into the grandma club,” Satsuki smiled sweetly. 

“Do you not change diapers?” Mei asked Daiki. “Just like your father.” 

“Um, I’ve been the only one changing them, thanks.” 

“He’s gonna be the main person at home when I go back to work. Trust me, he’s gonna get everything on him. Here.” 

Satsuki had to bite her lip when Daiki’s mother took Sora from her. She glanced at Daiki who was pulling his phone out. Perfect. He was actually going along with it. She turned her attention back to where their parents were huddled around the twins, cooing over them. Mei grabbed a diaper and some wipes. Sora whimpered a bit as he was unwrapped. 

“Shh, it’s okay, Sora. Grandma’s just gonna change you diaper.” 

Satsuki pulled the blanket over her face. She couldn’t hold back. 

Mei opened the diaper and cleaned him up before she realized that she was supposed to be changing a baby girl. She dropped the wipe in her hand, and slapped her other hand over her mouth. 

“What?” Daiki’s dad glanced over. 

“It...it’s a boy. Sora’s a boy?” Mei glanced between Daiki and Satsuki. 

“Yeah,” Satsuki breathed. “We were so shocked.”

“Wow.” 

“A boy?” 

“Yeah,” Satsuki giggled. 

“Oh my god!” Mei and Satsuki’s mom hugged her. 

“Mom, you can’t just leave him open,” Daiki muttered, jumping up to close Sora’s diaper, but he was too late. Sora had peed everywhere. Daiki sighed, glancing at his shirt, and shook his head. 

“Serves you right,” Mei smirked. “You did that to me all the time.”

“Which is why you should know!” 

“Akari can do it too, only with poop.” 

“Oh, she threw up on him earlier,” Satsuki laughed. 

“Have they got you yet?” 

“No. Daiki’s been doing everything for us,” Satsuki beamed. 

“Hm, guess I got something right.” Mei smiled warmly, her joking not meeting her face. “Can’t show up to save his life, but he takes care of his family.” 

“I fell asleep…” Daiki grumbled. 

“Sass me one more time. All you ever do is sleep. You’re sleeping your whole youth away, Daiki.” 

Daiki sighed, rolling his eyes luckily out of his mother’s view. Satsuki laughed softly. She would have agreed with Mei in the past, but once Daiki signed, she knew how little sleep he could get during the season. But he wasn’t right now, and wouldn’t be until September when next season started. Ordinarily he’d been getting all the sleep he wanted, but now with the twins their sleep was going to be a thing of the past. But Satsuki knew they both would gladly give that up for their precious children. 

“I’m proud of you,” Satsuki’s mother said softly, kissing her daughter on the top of her head. 

“Thank you, Mama.” 

“You kids hungry?” Daiki’s father asked. “I’m starving. Daiki, come with me to get food. You know the best places. Let’s give the women some woman time. Tell me about the season.” 

*****

Daiki helped Satsuki out of the car before taking the twin’s car seats off their bases. Satsuki grabbed her bag, and followed Daiki to the door. He handed her the keys, and she unlocked the door. They were greeted by the little pitter patter of tiny paws and excited mews. Satsuki tried to lean down to pick the kittens up, but hissed, and stood up. Daiki set the kids down on the floor, and scooped the kittens up to hand to Satsuki. She’d missed being able to hold them and play with them while she was pregnant. She’d been so scared to get anything from them. Daiki smiled as he watched her fawn over them. 

Cleo wrapped herself around Daiki’s legs. He crouched down, and let her smell his hand before he pet her. He picked her up and sat down in front of the twins. 

“Okay, girl, these are your new siblings. This one is Akari, and this one is Sora. She was in Mommy’s stomach. Be nice.”

“Daiki, I don’t think she can understand,” Satsuki giggled. 

Daiki glanced up at her with a smile. “I think her Japanese is coming just fine thank you. My girl, Cleo, here is quick.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

Cleo sniffed at the twins, Daiki still holding her firmly just in case she tried to lash out. Sora had his eyes open, staring at her inquisitively while Akari slept soundly. Daiki planted a kiss to his cat’s head. He remembered how heartbroken he and Satsuki were after the miscarriage. They’d gone to the pound to try to put a bandage in their hearts. When he’d seen Cleo, he’d instantly fallen in love with her. She was the sweetest cat he’d ever met. She reminded him so much of Neko. She’d given him light in such a dark time. He wondered if cats could sense things like that. Did they know that they’d helped heal them? Did they know how grateful they were? Did they know how much Satsuki wanted to love on them? Were they mad they got less attention than originally planned? Cleo’s purrs told him no. She bumped her head against the car seats, and mewed softly. 

“Can we show the twins their room?” Satsuki asked softly. 

“Of course. Let me just get them out of here.” 

He brushed his hands on his jeans before unbuckling the kids. He picked them up gently, and kissed them. He couldn’t believe they were here, home. The house didn’t feel so empty anymore. Satsuki reached out and took Akari. They made their way up the stairs and to the nursery. They took a collective deep breath, and walked in. 

He remembered that first night he’d asked Satsuki what she thought about starting a family. They never thought it would be the bumpy road. Years of pain. Years of anguish. It tore them apart, yet brought them closer. There’d been a point in time when they couldn’t even open the door. Their hopes and dreams were locked away in an empty space where time stood still. All they’d hoped was for a baby to live in this room. It wasn’t just a baby though. It was their future. Their hopes and dreams. Their life. Everything they’d ever dreamt of. The perfect symbol of their love. And they couldn’t face it being empty.

Finally after seven years, the room was full.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next time <3
> 
> Please comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you're enjoying it so far. This chapter is very short, but the other chapters will be much longer which means the next chapter will be out soon. 
> 
> Please leave a comment. It makes me so happy and motivated. <3


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